


If Three's A Party Then Two's A Crowd

by Mojjochan



Series: Three's A Party/ If Three's A Party Then Two's A Crowd [2]
Category: Johnny's Entertainment, KAT-TUN (Band)
Genre: Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff and Angst, Heartbreak, Language, M/M, Multiple Pairings, Prostitution, Smut, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-12
Updated: 2013-03-23
Packaged: 2017-11-25 06:06:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 61,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/635896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mojjochan/pseuds/Mojjochan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ueda's on the prowl and went to the shower room looking for someone, but found one of the people he least expected to find; Ryo. But will that stop his plans?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. If Three's A Party Then Two's A Crowd

**Author's Note:**

> New Chapter every Saturday.  
> This multi-chapter also has some side stories. I think I'll post these on Wednesdays accoarding to where I find them to fit in with the main story. ^_^

Ueda stood in the doorway, the shower room filled with steam made it impossible to see anything. He threw the top in his hands to the side and started to pull off his unbuttoned pants. He walked them off, and kicked them in the same direction as the top had gone. He licked his lips expectantly.

 

There was only one occupied stall, and he'd locked the door to the bath after he'd checked that there was no one else there. He walked over to the shower stall; the excitement making him take heavy breaths and his cock twitch. He didn't check who was in the stall before he pushed the door open and went inside.

 

The sudden “Oi, what the~?!” from a familiar but unexpected voice, and Ueda looked at the man trapped between his outstretched arms, up against the wall. Ryo looked at him in total shock. For a split second Ueda considered retreat, until the feisty Osaka man opened his mouth again “Ueda” Is this supposed to be some kind of joke?!” he yelled at the older man. Ueda narrowed his eyes and grinned cunningly; his heart aching with excitement. He closed the distance between them and saw when Ryo took one uncertain breath, and pushed himself up against the wall.

 

Ueda chuckled: he hadn't been expecting Ryo, of all people. Ueda took a hand to the younger man's chin: slid it up his jawline, and form his ear and down to his collarbone. Ueda sniggered some more as Ryo's expression became even more shocked. Ueda slid his other hand down himself: he hissed as his palm caressed sensitive skin.

 

Ryo gulped at the sight of the raw sex appeal that was emitting from the older man. Ryo looked over Ueda's body: he saw the completely fresh marks and watched as the older man touched himself. He slowly felt heat rise as drops of water played across his skin. He couldn't help but look at Ueda, such a finely toned body, slender waist and otherwise gorgeous looks. Ryo's eyes seemed to catch every little move form the way Ueda's abs twitched as his hand continued down his own body and breath hitched. Unconsciously Ryo licked his own lips, and his hand twitched.

 

Ryo could feel the the heat rise in his within himself and he reached out to touch Ueda's face: Ryo slid his fingers along Ueda's jawline before cupping one side of the older man's face. Ueda leaned into his palm and after giving him a heated glance he placed his own hand over Ryo's and turned to kiss Ryo's palm.

 

Ueda kissed his way up Ryo's arm, he nibbled lightly at the skin and sucked gently on Ryo's wrist. Ryo started taking heavy breaths he was defiantly responding. Ueda smiled when he saw tht Ryo was getting an erection. He chuckled lightly – tickling Ryo's skin. Quickening his pace, he moved closer and soon he was at the base of Ryo's neck. Ueda leeched onto the younger man's throat, making him groan feebly. Ueda then placed his hand on Ryo's chest, hand sliding across the younger man's chest muscles, and over his nipples – Ryo hissed.

 

Ryo leaned his head back as Ueda kissed his neck. He swallowed hard as Ueda slid his tongue over the Adam's apple before kissing his chin. The older man decided to teas Ryo by kissing him everywhere but on the mouth. When Ueda started kissing every inch of his face except his mouth, his lips quivering slightly from wanting, he felt increasingly annoyed and grew impatient. He grabbed a hold of the back of Ueda's head and brought their lips crashing together.

Ueda groaned as Ryo licked once over his lower lip before he bit down on it lightly. Ryo growled as Ueda moaned sweetly. Ryo grabbed Ueda's hand from his chest to entwine their fingers. His other arm wrapped around the older man's waist to pull them closer: both groaned as their erect members rubbed against the others body.

 

Ryo forced Uedaæs lips apart, and slipped his tongue in to explore the elder's cavern. Ueda moaned and shivered his knees went slightly weak. Ryo supported him as the deep, heated kiss continued. Ueda twined his fingers into Ryo's hair, pulling the two closer together.

 

They let go of each others hands, and Ryo's fell behind Ueda to slide down his back to grab hold of his ass. Ueda groaned loudly against Ryo's lips, he was forced to break the kiss when Ryo squeezed his ass. Groaning into Ryo's shoulder: the younger man made a low grunt in the back of his throat as he pulled Ueda closer to him with a jerk.

 

“I can't take it anymore- Ryo, I want you in me.” Ueda said weakly, wriggling his hips. Ryo took a sharp intake of breath “now~” Ueda purred and huffed impatiently. “But I don't know-” Ryo managed to say before Ueda separated himself from him, his heart gave a painful jolt: was Ueda going to leave him? But as soon as the thought appeared in his mind Ueda pushed Ryo aside, walked closer to the wall and parted his legs. Putting his hand on his ass, and slipping a finger between his ass cheeks.

 

As he started to finger himself, the shower water pouring down over him, and with Ryo's eyes on him: he groaned loudly, shuddering as he slipped one finger inside. He was already stretched out from before, so pretty soon he had three fingers inside. Ueda gave a violent shudder when Ryo's hand caressed his ass. Ryo's hand came ever closer to his entrance so Ueda had to stop what he was doing to steady himself as Ryo pushed his fingers inside.

 

Ryo's heart gave a jolt as heat clamped down on his fingers, and Ueda's cries echoed off the shower walls. Ueda peaked at the younger man, who was huffing his face flushed. His eyes fell on the man's throbbing cock: he watched as pre-cum leaked from the tip. His mind dull, Ueda pushed away from the wall to approach Ryo's manhood. Ryo shuddered as he saw Ueda come towards him, lips parted.

 

Ryo moaned as Ueda closed his mouth over the head, sucking gently and using his tongue once around then up to pierce the hole lightly with the tip. Ryo backed into the wall, throwing his head back with a loud groan. “shit!” he hissed as a wave of electricity and heat danced through his body. Ueda grabbed his hips to stop him from moving; he slipped off Ryo's cock, glanced up, copper colored fringe in his eyes, and said sweetly “patience~” and wrapped his lips around the throbbing member again, Ryo groaned unhappily. With his free hand he he slid two fingers down the side of Ueda's face before he moved on along his neck, and down to a perked nipple. He smiled when Ueda moaned with a gasp, his mouth still over Ryo's cock.

 

Ueda quickly moved down the shaft. Down to the hilt, nibbling lightly on the shaft. Ryo retracted his hand to grab a fistful of the older man's hair: twirling his fingers in with the copper locks. But just as he felt the rise for release, Ueda clamped the base of his member between his thumb and index finger, preventing him. Ryo was about to lash out verbally, but Ueda met his gaze and said in a slightly desperate tone “Ryo, I can't wait anymore~ I want your hard cock in me.” Ryo's mind went blank as he threw the older man against the wall and positioned himself in front of the older man's entrance, gently he pushed inside Ueda who let out a muffled cry that echoed weakly off the walls and couldn't compare to it's origin, which along with the scene of Ueda pushed against the wall, sent violent shudders through Ryo's body. He groaned loudly as Ueda clenched and unclenched around him. “Ah! Ryo, fuck me!” Ueda commanded as he was pushed up against the wall; the tiles cold on his skin. He glanced back at Ryo, and said sweetly “Fuck me hard~” Ryo looked back at the the seductive older man, who was provoking him. Ueda moaned as the hard member inside him throbbed.

 

Slowly Ryo pulled back and gently back in, Ueda moaned “Ah. Ryo. Harder!” Ueda said impatiently, trying his best to push the right buttons. Ryo's eyes darkened with blind lust, and he dug his fingers into Ueda's hips, thrusting hard and fast, pounding into the older man. “Ah. AH. HAH. Un! Ah~ Yesss~” Ueda groaned as his body was rocked back and forth. Ryo shifted slightly and rammed into Ueda, and he must have done something right, because Ueda's eyes widened, and he wailed louder than before. He arched his back: every muscle in his body going tens as electric shock waves spread through him. Ryo moaned loudly too as Ueda clamped down hard on him.

 

“holy-” Ueda panted trying his best not to fall to his knees. Ryo shivered as Ueda sucked in his member, which was twitching appreciatively. He repeated the motion from time to time, and soon the older man was reduced to a blabbering, shivering and groaning fool. “Ah” Ryo. No. Too- much!” the older man managed to utter, Ryo felt a shiver of excitement. This stubborn guy was completely in his control, and maybe better yet, the older man had said Ryo was too much for him. Ryo chuckled and hit that sweet spot again, making the older man cry out beautifully.

 

Ryo could feel release come closer and closer, heat searing through his body his skin all tingly and over sensitive. Ueda's wails sent wave upon wave of electricity rocking up his spine as he thrust into him, heat surrounding his throbbing cock. Ryo dug his fingers into the older man's hips and Ueda groaned from pain. Ueda's body was shivering and as Ryo bent down over him to place a kiss on the nape of the man's neck, Ueda whimpered in between hurried and ragged gasps for air. “Ah! Ryo, fuck yes!! AHA!!” Ueda's hands clenched to fists at the same time as he clamped down on Ryo's member.

 

Ryo's breathing was becoming slightly out of control and desperate. Ueda felt how air slashed at his throat as he took staggering breaths, trying to fill his lounges. Heat growing and spreading like wildfire they both ached for release. Both men groaned and shuddered uncontrollably as electricity spread through them, form their core to the tips of their limbs. “AH!A!HA! Please- let me... cum?!” Ueda gasped as he rocked his hips, meeting Ryo's thrusts. Ryo reached around the older man to grab the abandoned cock. He grasped it firmly, and started to pump it with even pace to match his thrusts. Ueda's breathing grew more haggard and he shuddered and his muscles twitched. Electric jolts shot through both of their bodies and Ueda shuddered violently “AH! AH! YES!! CU-CUMING!” He wailed as he came, clamping down hard on Ryo: who grunted loudly, clenching his teeth together as he rode out his orgasm inside Ueda, who continued to clench and unclench around him.

 

When the orgasm left them, and Ryo gently pulled out of Ueda, who groaned as the cock slipped out of him – A white trail spread down his inner thigh and his hole twitched. Both panted and soon, Ueda lost all strength and sank to his knees. Ryo stood still, watching the older man: saw him twitch and when he touched him Ueda jumped. “wow-” he said weakly, his voice kind of horse, “that was amazing” he said happily, gazing up at Ryo. Ueda quickly turned his mind to himself “now to clean this up” he said and placed a hand on his ass. Ryo watched as Ueda contemplated what to do. He watched as Ueda started caressing himself, he felt slightly dazed as he watched those thin fingers trace pale skin. He gulped, suddenly he felt heat rise again and tickle him gently from the inside.

 

His eyes darkened with lust and he suddenly bent down, grabbed Ueda and lifted him up in his arms. “Ryo, what the hell?! Put me down now!” Ueda said but a slight ache in his waist stopped him form wriggling his way out of Ryo's arms. Ryo carried him out of the shower room; he ignored the older man's protest and hurried to place him on one of the many benches. Ueda sat back up in a hurry “Ryo, what the fuck?” Ryo grinned cunningly “my thought exactly” he said, and before Ueda could respond Ryo had silenced him with a kiss. Overly surprised he only managed to produce a low grunt before Ryo pressed his tongue in and started to explore his cavern again.

 

Ueda felt hazy, he really hadn't seen this coming. But he took it as a pleasant turn of events and returned the kiss to Ryo's great satisfaction. The kiss deepened and when they finally broke apart they both panted hard, looking into each others eyes. Ryo forced Ueda down, he parted the older man's legs and came down on him: kissing Ueda again. Ueda wrapped his arms around the younger man's neck, forcing them closer together. He also tried to push his hips up to meet Ryo's body, but the younger man was ahead of him. Ryo had a hand placed on Ueda's lower abdomen: sliding his way down until he found the erect member, palming it. “Ah~an ah~” Ueda moaned happily. Ryo smirked “look at you, you just came but you're already hard again.” Ryo teased Ueda returned it with a cunning grin “look who's talking” he hissed and grabbed Ryo's throbbing manhood.

 

Ryo was growing impatient and Ueda could sense his growing agony, but he knew Ryo couldn't go in when he was dry like that. “Come here” he said and pushed the man up, pulling him up so that he stood right next to his face. Ueda beheld the erect manhood, it twitched as he looked at it and some pre-cum dribbled from the tip. Ueda parted his lips and wrapped his tongue around the cock once more. Ryo moaned as Ueda's tongue licked all over his cock. He grabbed Ueda's hair again but quickly Ueda had Ryo completely coated so he leaned away. Ryo whimpered unhappily.

 

“Now come” Ueda said as if it were a royal command. Ryo quickly obeyed him and slipped down between the older man's spread legs. Ueda groaned as Ryo brushed up against him. Ryo didn't wast any time, he quickly positioned himself in front of Ueda's hole before he gently prodded the puckered hole with the head of his cock. Ryo clenched his teeth together and Ueda squirmed impatiently. Ryo sank into Ueda again, heat surrounding him and the walls clenching and unclenching around him. Ryo shuddered and came to a stop, but Ueda was impatient and started to vigorously buck his hips. He moaned on his own, and Ryo felt a little annoyed as Ueda took complete control yet again.

 

Ha launched at the older man's chest, taking an erect nipple between his teeth and biting down, Ueda whimpered in pain. He continued to teas the nipple for a long while before starting to leech onto the older man's skin. Sucking hard and marking him, as if marking his territory. Ryo shuddered as Ueda wrapped his legs around his waist, now he grew impatient. He sat back and yanked Ueda with him, in one rapid movement Ueda was sitting in Ryo's lap – bouncing up and down. Ueda wailed sweetly and Ryo could pay close attention to him when it was like this.

 

Suddenly Ueda forced his way out of Ryo's grip, he then pushed Ryo down and got on top. “Oh holy...” was all Ryo managed to think before Ueda held his dick in place and sank down on it. Soon the older man was riding on top of him. Ueda made lots of sweet moans: the high pitched and beautiful sound filled Ryo's ears like music. He enjoyed it very much, and started to buck his hips, thrusting up as Ueda came down. Mouth hanging open, tears in his eyes, Ueda panted hard as he bounced up and down over the younger man. “Ah.Ah.AH.AHN~AH!!” he huffed and kept rocking his hips, muscles moving beautifully under pale skin. Ryo groaned and tilted his head backwards.

 

“AH. HAH. Ryo. AHN~!” Ueda gasped and leaned backwards as Ryo thrust up and pulled Ueda down, he hit the sweet spot again, and Ueda wailed. Heat was spreading, taking over. Every limb felt numb and prickly, electricity seemed to dance across their skin. Ueda trembled as wave upon wave shook his spine and drove him closer and closer to orgasm. They had melted together and heat was soaring and neither had any sense left when orgasm rocked their body for the second time within a very small time frame. “AH.HAHAHAHAHHNGAAAAAAHH! RYO!” his name came out as a chocked gasp as Ueda strained every muscle in his body and arched his back beautifully. Ryo also lifted his lower back as he filled the older man with his cum “DAMN IT! NG~!” he gritted his teeth, and just felt as he came down from that high: gasping, shivering and exhausted.

 

Ueda had placed both hands securely on either side of Ryo's head for support. His arms shivered and his body shimmered due to sweat. After a short while he got up, and unsteadily he walked towards the sink. Ryo's eyes followed him, and he watched as another streak of white made it's way down the inside of the older man's thigh. He chuckled and recapped what had happened; a big, sheepish grin on his face. Ueda wiped himself off, and turned around to look at the younger man who was still lying relaxed on the bench.

 

He said nothing and started to gather up his clothes and walked towards the exit. Noticing that Ueda was ready to leave, Ryo sat bolt upright “what about showe-?” he asked but before he could finish the sentence Ueda just shook his head and said “no point. I'm going home now anyways, and I'm driving my own car today so it doesn't matter” he shrugged and started to unlock the door. Ryo stood up and was about to go and stop him when Ueda finally got the door open and turned in the doorway to say “let's do this again some time.” he said and left without a second glance.

 

Ryo looked after him, and just lay quietly and gazed into space. He numbly sat up and quietly made his way to the shower; he needed to get clean and get a clean mind. His head was spinning as he pondered who he could ask for Ueda's contact information without arousing suspicion. He got in the shower and let the water pour down over him as he though hard on the problem. “Argh!” he said loudly and ruffled his hair, he sighed heavily and turned off the shower. He slowly made his way out of the shower room, got dressed and walked out his head in a buzz over who to ask: he wanted the information now, for he could hardly wait for next time.


	2. Second Stage - A Promise In a Not So Shabby Hotel Room

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The continuation. Ryo has developed feelings for the demanding and promiscuous Ueda, will he be able to win the older man's heart?

Ryo twirled his thumbs nervously as he sat on the bed in the not so shabby hotel room. The bed creaked as he shifted his weight slightly and glanced at the bathroom door: he could hear the shower running. He'd finally gotten a hold of Ueda's contact information, though the source did bother him. He'd been out drinking with all the members of Kanjani8, and he'd asked jokingly, trying to cover up the fact that he actually wanted to know, if anyone had the information. Everyone was completely smashed, Ryo wasn't that drunk for he had work the next day. So he'd asked everyone, and it had been Subaru who'd chirped up, waving his arms above his head and his speech slurred “oh, Ueda's contact info?” he tried and failed to focus on Ryo. In one brisk move he practically threw himself over Yasuda and stabbed his hands into the pockets of Yasuda's tight jeans; Yasuda blushed as he hollered with laughter, leaning back against Subaru. A second later Subaru retracted his hands to reveal Yasuda's mobile phone. He started typing on it, his tongue between his teeth and eyes squinted at the screen.

 

Suddenly Ryo's mobile vibrated and sang the message received tune and he quickly snapped the phone open and stared at the information he'd been sent. It read Ueda Tatsuya. Tatchan. A phone number and an e-mail address. The annoyance grew in him, and he wondered why on earth did Yasuda have Ueda's contact information and not to mention that Subaru knew he had it also made him suspicious. Coldly he thanked Subaru who drawled “No prob~” as he wrapped an arm around Yasu and leaned his head against the younger man's shoulder.

 

Ryo sighed trying to push the anger aside. He'd been so preoccupied in his own thoughts that he hadn't noticed that Ueda had finished showering, and now stood right in front of him: arms crossed, wearing the hotel bathrobe, observing Ryo. When Ryo finally saw the person standing in front of him he jumped “oh, you scared me!” he said clutching his hand to his heart. Ueda laughed once before he untangled his arms and brushed his hand along the side of Ryo's face. Ryo gulped and froze when without much further ado Ueda climbed on top of him, straddling his lap. “Damn, you don't waste any time do you?” Ryo chuckled nervously while he wrapped his amrs around Ueda's thin waist.

 

Ryo's breath grew heavier as Ueda played his hands into the younger man's hair. Suddenly Ueda yanked Ryo's head back and leaned down to kiss him forcefully. Ryo grabbed the back of the bathrobe and held on in fistfuls, lightly tugging at it. Ryo slipped one hand up to yank at the collar and slid the robe down to where it stopped at the older man's elbows. Ryo marveled at the exposed skin. He leaned in to kiss it gently, caressing it with his hand, feeling the smooth texture. He groaned, already feeling the heat.

 

Ueda still had his hands behind Ryo's neck and he was still gently tucking at the hair in the nape. He hissed as Ryo's lips made their way across his collar bone then headed directly for his nipple. “N~ yes~” he whispered putting pressure on the back of Ryo's neck, forcing him closer. Ryo groaned in the back of his throat as he welcomed the gesture. He flicked his tongue over the nipple, Ueda shivered and moaned sweetly, biting his lower lip.

 

Ueda slipped his hands down to untie the bathrobe. He pushed Ryo lightly, and in a daze Ryo fell with a soft thud back on the bed. Ueda slipped the robe off; letting it slide gently down the remaining length of his arm and letting it gently caress his skin. Suddenly in a hurry, Ryo pulled off his sweater and quickly went down to unbutton his pants when Ueda stopped him “leave some fun for me~” he said in a meek and seductive voice. Ryo gulped and slowly let his hands fall gently to his sides.

 

Ueda straightened up and gave his head a toss so that his copper locks went flying. Ryo felt even more dazed, how could a man be so breathtakingly beautiful? He watched as the older man tossed the robe elegantly aside, he then leaned down and almost kissed him on the mouth as he left Ryo's face level, the younger could see a cunning grin on his face as he disappeared down wards. Ueda planted butterfly kisses on Ryo's skin. Ryo moaned as Ueda nibbled on his collar bone and sucked on his skin.

 

Ryo lifted his hand to cup Ueda's face in his palm; Ueda leaned into his palm then turned his head to part his lips so that he could bite down on the outside and base of Ryo's thumb. Ryo hissed with pain. Ueda licked his lips and continued his way down Ryo's body. Following the line of his abs, down to his bellybutton, which he circled lightly with the tip of his tongue. Ryo shifted slightly, and bit his lower lip with a sigh. Ueda was hovering above his groin, Ryo could feel his presence and his already hard member throbbed lightly.

 

Ueda glanced up at Ryo, the younger man was panting and squeezing his eyes shut as he waited. Ueda grinned as he gently brought his hands up to unbutton Ryo's pants. Teasingly he leaned in close and nibbled lightly at the denim right under where he was pulling the zipper slowly down – Ryo groaned and shifted slightly.

 

Ueda lifted his head, pulling his fringe out of his face, he then pulled Ryo's pants down to his thighs. Rubbing his cheek against the hard member, now only separated from him by the thin fabric of the boxers. He pressed his lips against it, parting them and sucking lightly; bringing back the fabric as he pulled away – leaving wet spots on the fabric. Ryo lifted his hips slightly, pressing against the older man. Ueda pulled at the hem of Ryo's boxers, using his teeth to pull down the front and revealing the throbbing cock. Ryo's breath hitched and he shuddered, pulling at the sheets with clenched fists.

 

Ueda pressed his lips against the base of Ryo's manhood, sliding his tongue around it and down to nip lightly at the younger man's sack. He grabbed the shaft with his hand; using his palm and sliding it up the back of the cock along the vein then closing his fingers around the cock head. He felt Ryo shiver and heard him groan loudly. Ueda traced his other hand along the outside of Ryo's thigh: feeling the muscles move under his palm. Ryo shuddered and tossed around slightly, but Ueda shifted; placing his hands firmly on the younger man's hips, holding him in place.

 

Ryo sat up on his elbows to see Ueda. His eyes dazed and his mind only able to focus on one thing. He lifted his hand and stroked the copper fringe out of the older man's eyes, as he did and Ueda's face was no longer hidden Ueda's gaze met his own and he felt a jolt as and though his mind was clouded he managed yo put some force into his own gaze, he smirked as Ueda moaned and shuddered. Ueda lifted his head up, he licked his lips teasingly and kissed the cock head. Ryo groaned and leaned his head back. Ueda then parted his lips to take the head in his mouth. Ryo hissed as he was surrounded by wet heat, he tried to sit up properly but the older man swiped his tongue around the head once; Ryo shuddered, groaning loudly loosing all strength in his arms so that he fell backwards.

 

Ueda took more of the hard member in his mouth, his tongue working the shaft as more and more of it was in him. He didn't stop until the hard member hit the back of his throat, Ryo shivered with a loud groan, grabbing a fistful of hair. Gently Ueda bobbed his head, he played with the sack: rubbing his finger on that sensitive spot just behind it. Ryo wanted so badly to thrust hard into the older man's mouth, but somehow he managed to keep his sanity and he shivered violently “AHN! FUCK! NGH!!!” he elevated his back, and went rigid as he came in Ueda's mouth.

 

Ueda pulled away from him, the cock slipping out of his mouth. He licked his lips with hot, burning eyes focused on Ryo. The younger man shivered, he loosened the grip on the older man's hair; letting his hand slide down to caress Ueda's face. He breathed heavily, his chest rising and sinking as he took a series of deep breaths. “Holy~” he sighed and took his other hand to his forehead. Ueda never took his gaze off the man, Ryo looked back, meeting the elder's powerful gaze. He gulped. Ueda smirked at him. Ryo felt his heart throb and watched as he slowly came back to life. He was shocked by his own wantonness. Ueda's smirk grew wider as he kissed the member, it grew harder with all the attention the older man was giving it.

 

Ueda took the member in his hand again and started to pump the member. He leaned across to the bedside table where a number of objects stood; amongst them a tube of lube. Ryo's eyes watched as Ueda quickly squeezed some onto his fingers, leading them to his rear. Ryo swallowed hard as Ueda squeezed his eyes together and groaned. Noticing the younger man's intense gaze, Ueda glanced up at him, smiled, and then resumed pumping the member. Ryo groaned, suddenly Ueda's hand stopped and he looked to see the elder squeeze some lube onto his hand yet again before he wrapped the lube covered hand around the shaft. Ryo's body grew hotter, awaiting what it knew was coming and his excitement grew.

 

The older man seemed satisfied and let go of Ryo's throbbing member; Ryo complained loudly and shifted “hold still~” Ueda said softly as he got to his knees and crawled up along the younger man's body. Ryo held his breath as Ueda came closer, lips looking glossy and tempting. Erect nipples finally coming into his reach. He lifted his hand to the elder's chest and pressed his thumb over a nipple, Ueda shivered and let a sweet moan pass through his lips. Ryo licked his own before he tweaked a nipple between two fingers, making Ueda moan louder.

 

The elder pushed away from him, sitting up on hand placed firmly on Ryo's chest for support. His ass directly over Ryo's cock, Ryo gulped loudly and a spasm went through his body. His cock had started to leak with pre-cum due to excitement, and he groaned impatiently. Ueda used his other hand to hold the younger man's cock in place. Ryo bit his lip as Ueda sank down and the tip of the cock head prodded the hole. “Mph! NGH! Ahn~” Ueda shivered as the cock started to slip in, Ryo withheld his moans with the little of his mind he had left. But his breathing grew heavy and he made a series of rapid intakes of breath as he entered the older man; heat surrounding his hard member and he could no longer retain his voice. He cried out just when Ueda had taken all of him in. Both shuddered, taking in deep breaths to calm themselves.

 

Ueda chuckled slightly, he took a moment to get used to Ryo inside him. He let himself relax, and was surprised by how quickly he did so. He watched as the younger man groaned underneath him, and it struck him: Ryo was actually quite gorgeous. His body was lean, and though the younger man's abs didn't quite compare to his own, they added a definite manly touch. He gently slipped his hand over them, feeling them move under his palm; the touch made the younger man moan in a low tone. Ueda grinned as he started to rock his hips slowly. Ryo grimaced and moaned loudly. Ueda moaned as the member moved inside him, but he wanted more.

 

“AH! AHN~! Fuck me. Fuck me now Ryo!” he said loudly, he heard the man gasp and felt him go rigid for a split second before strong hands clasped onto his hips and Ryo started to thrust into Ueda. “AH!AH! AAAHN!!” Ueda felt the hard member moved inside him, rubbing against his innermost parts. Heat spreading from there and out into his entire body: he felt delirious as Ryo found his sweet spot “AH! FUCK! NOT. THERE! AH!” Ueda yelled as Ryo grunted when the older man clenched tight around him “If you keep doing that I'm- not. Going. To. Last. Long!” he said hurriedly and threw his head back. Ueda started to bounce up and down on the hard cock “Fuck! I want it so bad, Ryo. Fuck me hard!” Ueda threw his head back and he bounced up and came back down in time with Ryo thrusting up, into his depths.

 

Both groaned loudly, desperately craving release. It was then that Ryo realized that Ueda's hard, leaking member had been left untouched this whole time. Hand shaking slightly he reached up and took a hold of the shaft. Ueda shuddered with a loud groan “ah. No. DON't~ng!” Ryo pumped the shaft once before sliding his palm around the head. Ueda moaned loudly, he'd come to a standstill and was bending forward, meeting the stimulation. A trail of saliva appeared form one side of his mouth as he wailed when Ryo suddenly gave a hard thrust into the heat.

 

Matching his thrusts to his hand pumping Ueda's cock, the older man wailed louder and louder; body shaking uncontrollably. “Ah. HAH.AH.AAH!NGH! AH!” Ueda threw his head back, his body shaking violently as he came: splattering semen over Ryo's hand, and his own and Ryo's stomach. He shivered, panting heavily. Ryo chuckled, despite Ueda clamping down on him and seeing the older man look so sexy, he'd managed not to cum. Ueda shivered and slumped forward; he leaned over Ryo with his remaining strength keeping him from collapsing on top of the man.

 

Ryo was hasty and threw the older man over onto his back. “Oi. WHA-?” but before Ueda could finish his sentence Ryo had crushed his lips against the older man's. Ryo started to thrust into Ueda's body, which tingled with the leftovers from his climax making the older man groan loudly against his lips. As Ryo broke the kiss, Ueda gasped for air, heat raging through his body. He whimpered as Ryo kept thrusting into him gently, now biding his time a little as he watched the elder's reactions.

 

He chuckled as Ueda moaned when he hit any oversensitive spot, his hands trailing the slim and lean frame; feeling every muscles as they contracted and released under his palm. “Don't be. Mean“ the older man gasped, Ryo smirked and lapped his tongue over Ueda's erect nipple – making him twitch. Ueda dug his fingers into the younger man's hair, trying to pull the man off his sensitive nipple, he hissed when Ryo sank his teeth lightly into the flushed skin. “Ahn~do-don't!” Ueda squirmed and shivered, he released the younger man, completely giving in.

 

Ryo circled the lush nipple with the tip of his tongue before pressing his lips against the surrounding skin and sucking at it. He shivered when he felt the spasm run through the older man and wails filled his ears. He held the base of Ueda's cock between his thumb and index finger to prevent the older man from climaxing. “Let. Go. AH!NGH!” Ueda tried to wriggled his body away, with little success as Ryo used his free hand to grab hold of Ueda's, weaving their fingers together. Ueda shivered, trying to ignore the younger man's efforts, but he couldn't pretend he didn't notice how tenderly he was being treated. Ryo's gaze suddenly met his, he blinked; Ryo's eyes were filled with tender love and burning desire and Ueda felt his heart heave a sigh as he leaned forward desperately seeking out the younger man's warm, wet lips.

 

When their lips met Ryo felt the head dance up his spine, it was a sweet and tender kiss. But soon it turned rough, their tongues wrapping and twirling in a dancing battle for control. Both moaned when they both gasped for air, shuddering as they found sensitive spots inside each others cavern. Ueda moaned and shivered, he elevated his lower back to rub against the younger man, Ryo thrust into the older man, every muscle in his body tensed when Ueda clamped down on him. His entire body felt hot, a prickling sensation crept across his skin as if every nerve in his body was overcharged with electricity. And with Ueda tossing and squirming seductively underneath him, he was having a hard time not climaxing.

 

“Ahn! AH!AAH!!” Ueda threw his head back, Ryo's lips had moved down his neck and was leaving a trail of sweet butterfly kisses all the way down to the arch of his neck, where he sank his teeth in. “Ou-AH!AHN!” Ueda wailed as Ryo licked away the small droplets of blood that appeared on the pale skin. Ryo loosened his grip around the base of Ueda's cock and started to gently stroke the hard member. Under him Ueda gave a half-chocked shudder and started to rock his hips in time with his hand movements. Ueda wrapped his legs around the younger man and the two rocked together. Ueda wailed every time Ryo hit his his sweet spot and he huffed with each stroke of his manhood, he grabbed the sheets tightly between trembling fingers “damn” he hissed and pulled at the sheets. Ueda started to shake his head “na-AH-C-Cumming!!” he yelped and shot his white seed all over his stomach, his muscles twitching and the rest of his body shuddering violently. And as Ueda clamped down on Ryo, he felt the wave rise in him, exploding from his core and spreading through his body as he came hard inside Ueda. Riding out his orgasm, the walls surrounding him twitching. He slumped down, panting. He lay across Ueda's torso, his body shivering and his heart racing.

 

They lay there for a little while, until Ueda stirred and started to push Ryo off himself “get up, I wanna take a shower” Ryo unsteadily pushed himself up and pulled out of Ueda. The white substance dribbled out of the puckered hole, Ryo couldn't help but stare. Ueda blushed and placed his palm smack in the middle of the younger man's face and pushed him away “don't stare idiot!” he said crossly and threw one leg out of the bed. “you OK by yourself?” he asked gently “I'm fine” Ueda scoffed and stumbled slightly on his way to the bathroom. Ryo watched; he found it rather amusing that he was the cause of Ueda's strange walking and it made him ridiculously happy. He played with the thought in his mind before he sat up properly, leaning his face in one hand as he lay on his side watching the door to the bathroom.

 

When Ueda came out he had taken the other bathrobe on, he sat down on the edge of the bed and crossed his legs. Uncertainly Ryo approached him, he lay his hand on the older man's shoulder; letting it slide down the elder's back gently. Ueda gave a small shudder “what?” he said, his tone kind of cold “why did Yasu have your contact info” Ryo asked, he knew he was being direct, but it really bothered him. Ueda looked thoughtful for a short while before he said “You know, Yasuda-kun gives good head” Ryo frowned “So you slept with him? And Subaru too?” he felt rage build in him “only a few times. Also once with both, they are quite the combination” Ueda said it so casually as if it didn't matter. Ryo felt anger bubble under the surface; he sat upright, threw an arm around Ueda and pulled him down and jumped on top, pinning him to the bed.

 

Ueda looked bored as he gazed upwards, but as he met the younger man's fiery eyes his heart gave a distinct and powerful throb. “promise me” Ryo hissed “that you won't sleep around anymore” he glared at Ueda who started laughing nervously “and what do you suggest I do?” he demanded “you can stick with just me!” Ryo said loudly. Ueda fell silent as he gazed and tried to analyzed the man hovering above him. Ueda sighed, gazed up at the man, sighed again and looked to the side “F-fine! I'll try. But mind you, that'll be a lot of sex~” Ueda warned him in a purring voice “OK. If you need me, call me. Whenever.” Ueda gazed up at the man “whenever” that was quite the word. He'd never had anyone promised him something such as that before. Suddenly his insides were all bubbly and he felt sort of dazed “yeah, sure. Now get off” he felt himself go red as he pushed the younger man off. He started getting his clothes back on before he started for the door. “call me!” Ryo shouted after him, Ueda came to a halt in the door; he wanted to protest but at the words he felt the bubbly feeling rise, so he just ignored it at walked out – using a little bit more force on the door than he intended.

Ryo lay on the bed, feeling quite content with himself. He'd gotten a promise from Ueda that he wouldn't sleep around anymore, and that he would contact him if he wanted to. A smug grin on his face he rolled around on the bed for a short while, taking in the older man's sent. He felt rather dazed an completely lost track of time. Only when the reception desk called to tell him that he had to leave the room in an hour did he come to his senses again. He quickly grabbed a shower before heading out; as he stood in the door he looked back at the bed, he smirked as he closed the door wondering how soon the older man would contact him.


	3. The View From the Window, Our Reflection In the Glass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Koki leaves a bite mark on Ueda, what will happen when Ryo sees this and what are Ueda's feelings about it anyway?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about long paragraphs! >.

Ueda sighed, he stalked into the dressing room and went over to the couch: he shoved the stable of magazines onto the floor “Damn Bakanishi, making a mess all the time” - “who's making a mess?” Jin said and threw his arms around the older man's shoulders “Akanishi, keep your stuff in place and keep the room in order would you” Ueda said annoyed and wriggled his way out of the other man's grip “he's right Jin” Kame said as he entered the room behind Jin, the rest of KAT-TUN followed behind him. “tsk” Jin said and occupied the couch throwing his legs up on the armrest. “Oi!” Ueda said loudly, Jin just chuckled and stuck his tongue out at him “what a child” Ueda thought bitterly “fine!” Ueda said throwing his arms out and crossing them as he sat down on top of the younger man's stomach “Ouch! Geroff!” Jin protested “nope” Ueda said smirking. “Kazu, Tatchan is evil~” Jin whined looking puppy-eyed at Kame who started laughing at them. “It's not funny!” Jin pouted and reached for Kame, grabbing his jacket and pulling at it “you're too cute for your own good, JinJin” Kame teased making the older man pout more and everyone else laugh.

Ueda got to his feet and marched over to his dressing table, sitting down and throwing one leg over the other “Bakanishi” he chuckled while he shook his head, and started collecting his things when Koki suddenly came up behind him and wrapped his arms around his shoulders. He kissed behind Ueda's ear and blew in it teasingly “Ne, Tatchan it's been so long” he said his voice husky as he was throwing in hints. No one was watching so he slid one finger over Ueda's chest, stroking over his nipple; Ueda shivered and tried to fight the younger man off, managing to create some distance. Koki chuckled and leaned in again to nibble softly on the older man's ear. Ueda blushed and threw his arm out to cover his ear with his hand. Koki laughed as he stepped away, Ueda glared after him.

 

Ueda bided his time, even Nakamaru left before he did. He watched as the other members left noisily, Kame and Jin pulling at each others hands teasingly, Ueda felt a weird tingling in his stomach as he watched the couple in the mirror. The door closed behind them and he was left alone. He sighed and leaned forward, sighing deeply. “If you sigh too much you loose a lot of happiness” he heard from behind him when he looked up he saw Koki in the mirror, leaning against the door. Koki lifted his chin as he gazed at the older man, “I thought you left with everyone?” Ueda said trying to disarm the situation “I was worried when you spent so much time getting ready to leave” the younger man confessed, fiddling with the strap of his bag. Ueda tried to keep an eye on the man's every movement, but noticing that Koki was doing the same he busied himself with his stuff.

Koki stepped forward, Ueda ignored him, he came closer watching the older man – both him and his reflection. Koki was right behind him now, Ueda glanced at him without lifting his head and going rigid as Koki's lay his hand on his shoulder and it slipped down to the front of his chest. “Koki. Stop.” Ueda said annoyed, his body shuddered.”Why?” Koki whispered leaning in close to the older man's ear; who drew in a sharp breath through clenched teeth. Koki started to kiss his way down his neck as he said in a strained tone “I don't feel like- AH!” he exclaimed when Koki took a bite in the arch of his neck. The younger man chuckled, licking blood from the bite mark making the older man groan more. On a sudden impulse Ueda clasped his hand to his neck where the bite mark was, denying Koki access to it.

The younger man frowned “you're acting weird today” he said coldly staring at the older man. Ueda couldn't meet his eyes and said with force “I just don't feel like it today” he felt frustrated; normally he would never say no to Koki. He liked doing it with Koki, he was overall a good lay in so many ways. But something was holding Ueda back, something inside him told him that he shouldn't do this. Koki leaned over him, staring at his flushed face and the way his hands were shaking and kneading the strap of his bag “your body tells a different story” Koki said pointedly his tone sounded angry and he launched for Ueda's groin, but Ueda's reflexes made him grab the younger man's arm before he could touch anything. Ueda stood up gripping Koki's arm tightly, he could feel tears of frustration well in his eyes “I said no!” he half yelled, let go of Koki, threw the rest of his stuff into his bag and ran out the door. Leaving the other to stand there, almost petrified as he couldn't believe that Ueda had rejected him. After such a long time. He took some time to stare stupidly around himself, before he slowly made his way out of the dressing room.

 

Ueda huffed and panted, his throat was sore and every breath was painful. He stopped right at the landing to his apartment, though he'd gone by car he'd run up the stairs instead of taking the elevator. He stood hunched over, his hands on his knees and his bag dangling from it's strap: which had slid from his shoulder to hang on his elbow. After standing there for about a minute he stood up with an angry manor marching towards the door of his apartment and getting angry for not finding his key straight away. Once inside he threw everything he was wearing off with a loud shrug, leaving almost everything in a heap on the floor in the entryway. He stomped into the living room and threw himself down on the couch.

He tossed and turned. Sat up. Ruffled his hair violently then stood up again. “What an idiot! How could he, when I said no?!” Ueda grabbed a pillow and punched it hard. He grabbed the little mirror he'd left on the table this morning and studied the bite mark; it was quite deep “fuck, what am I going to do. Nishikido will-” he stopped his train of thought, why the hell was he concerned about Nishikido Ryo?! And now that he was thinking about it why had he rejected Koki's advances anyway? It became clear to him that obviously the other man would think that he was teasing, once you took the nature of their relationship into account. Ruffling his hair again in a very agitated way he growled and threw the pillow aside to stand up. He marched into the next room grabbed his boxing gear and practically ran out the door.

 

***

 

Ryo looked at the watch, he knew that KAT-TUN were in the same studio as them, he'd seen Yamapi and Jin talking earlier where he'd by coincidence overheard that they planned to go out drinking after since they finished filming at the same time and Yamapi had asked if the other members of KAT-TUN were there and Jin had confirmed that they were then he'd suddenly noticed Ryo and yanked Yamapi closer so that he could whisper something into the man's ear. But Ryo had received the info he needed so after greeting Akanishi, Ryo and Yamapi headed back towards NEWS's dressing room. “what was all the whispering about?” Ryo asked jokingly “nothing much, Jin just said he had something to tell me later so it would be better if it was just the two of us” Yamapi said in an unconcerned tone. They walked into the dressing room and next thing they knew Tegoshi was upon them, he wrapped his arms around Yamapi as Shige came to a halt in front of the two in attack mode. “You'll never catch me, Shige!” Tegoshi yelled “We'll see about that!” Shige replied and grabbed Tegoshi's arm and yanked him off Yamapi. Tegoshi wrenched himself free from Shige's grip and bolted away down the hall screaming excitedly as Shige stormed after him. They could hear the pair roaring with laughter as they disappeared from sight.

 

Looking after the pair, Ryo felt eyes going straight through him and he turned to meet the gaze of the remaining two members, Koyama and Massu. Koyama was holding a magazine and Massu, to no ones surprise had some food that he was chomping on. Ryo was the first to snap out of it and he walked into the room away from Yamapi, who continued to stare down the direction the other two had disappeared. “Let's hope manager-san doesn't catch them” Massu said, wiping his mouth with a napkin “They'll get into trouble just for leaving the dressing room. You guys returned just in time” Koyama added, looking from Ryo to Yamapi. The other two didn't really give a reply, they simply moved further into the room and sat down. A few minutes later manager-san returned and started panicking over the fact that Tegoshi and Shige were missing. After the manager made a few frantic phone calls, sent staff out to look for them, and each of the remaining NEWS members took turns on calling their cellphones, and after about fifteen minutes they returned and said they'd gotten lost but then found their way back again. Ryo sniggered; by the looks of it it's more likely they got lost in each other in some broom closet along the way: their hair was a mess and their lips were swollen. AS they were being scolded everyone else in the group just shook their heads and sighed.

 

Once the interview, filming and mini photo shoot was over they headed back to their dressing room. On their way there Ryo spotted a door with the sign “KAT-TUN-sama” on it, he stared at it, but no one came out. Once they'd gotten out of their clothes and removed most of their make-up and gathered their stuff: Ryo threw his bag over his shoulder and left with everyone. He saw Yamapi strat off in the direction of KAT-TUN's dressing room and felt an indescribable need to follow him there, but reason kept him on his way. He parted ways with everyone at the garage where he saw Shige and Tegoshi head off in the same direction. He watched them for a while, they spoke happily with one another; smiling and laughing. Ryo felt a twinge of jealousy as he watched them.

He sighed, just as he turned around Taguchi and Nakamaru came towards him; in passing they greeted each other before the two headed in separate directions. A few moments later Yamapi, Jin and Kamenashi appeared; Kame kind of behind Jin on the opposite side from Yamapi who looked puzzled and kept glancing to his side. Yamapi stopped when the group reached Ryo “aren't you going home?” Yamapi asked “ah, I am. But manager-san said he wanted to discuss something with me, nothing big.” Ryo said making up the lie quickly, Yamapi gave him an odd look but decided to let it slide, “bye” they all said Kame and Ryo just exchanged nods before the trio left together, leaving Ryo alone in the garage.

Just as he was wondering where he was, Ueda came wandering out the door. He started to approach him, but stopped dead upon seeing Tanaka Koki hanging all over him, talking animatedly. But he couldn't help but notice the disgruntled look on the older man's face. Ueda looked up, saw Ryo, then froze. Ryo tilted his head back a little and drew himself up to his full height, making himself seem superior. Ueda stared at him, Koki watched him to and frowned he then looked at Ueda who was fixated on Ryo, and said stuttering slightly “Tatchan, wha-?” but before he could finish the sentence Ueda stormed forward, grabbed Ryo's wrist and dragged him off, as Ryo figured, in the direction of his car – leaving the other man, his mouth hanging slightly open.

They stopped in front of a black car and Ueda said as he let go of Ryo “get in” Ryo didn't need to be told twice. He threw himself into the passenger seat, Ueda got in and slammed the door shut a few moments after Ryo closed his. He turned to see the older man take a deep, calming breath, gripping the steering wheel tightly. Before Ryo could say anything Ueda started the car and started driving.

Ueda drove quickly, almost recklessly and no matter how hard Ryo tried to get him to talk, Ueda was deaf. Suddenly Ueda made a sharp turn into a parking lot, he parked the car and got out. When Ryo didn't follow him Ueda opened the door again and said “come. You can leave your stuff” then shut the door again. Ryo got out uncertainly, he watched Ueda as a breeze ruffled the older man's hair, and his heart started to pound when Ueda lifted a hand to delicately push one lock of hair out of his face. He gulped and stepped up to him, Ueda looked at him once then nodded in the direction of the exit.

Ryo followed Ueda who hurriedly walked away from the parking lot and down a few alleys, he looked around and pulled his hood over his head; Ryo copied him and lurked right at the older man's heel. Ueda looked around, there were hardly any people around. Ueda reached out and tugged at the sleeve of Ryo's sweater, “come on” he said and lead the way to a slightly gaudy looking hotel with a big neon sign that blinked in a variety of colors and read “Amore Palace” Ryo blinked “a love hotel?” he though his mind in a buzz all of a sudden. He gulped and felt excitement well up in him.

 

Ueda strode into the love hotel, he marched up to the monitors picked a room: he retrieved the key and marched off. Ueda didn't cast one glance in Ryo's direction as he headed up the stairs. Ryo thought he seemed oddly familiar with the place, it bothered him but he kept quiet. Ueda found the room and opened the door, walking inside and leaving the door open for the younger man. Ryo followed him inside, better in there, behind closed doors than standing in the middle of the hall of a love hotel. Ryo closed the door behind him and stood with his back to the door. Before he'd gotten the chance to ask questions Ueda had already wrung his shirt off and thrown it to the floor. Ryo couldn't look away as he saw the older man; lean body, muscles moving under delicate skin. He longed to touch it, feel it and trace his hand along those toned abs. He blinked and tore his eyes away from the sight.

Ueda looked back at him, his expression cold as he said forcefully “I'll shower first” and strode off into the bathroom. Ryo looked about the room, it was quite average, no extreme interior like a mirror located above the bed or see-through walls to the bathroom – though, he noted to himself that see-through walls wouldn't have been half-bad. He sniggered at his own thoughts and walked over to the bed and sat down, listening to the mattress creak underneath him and sag under his weight. The sound of the shower filled the room and he wriggled nervously as he sat there waiting.

 

After a few minutes Ueda came out, again wearing a bathrobe; he looked around the room before he locked his gaze on Ryo, who felt flustered. “Aren't you going in?” Ueda asked casually, waving his arm in the direction of the bathroom door. “ah, yes!” Ryo said and stumbled to his feet. In a hurry he passed Ueda and stepped into the bathroom: it was damp and filled with the smell of cheap soap. Ryo wandered over to the shower and watched as small drops fell from the shower head. He felt a lump in his throat for some reason, it kept bouncing between his stomach and his throat – was he nervous? Not that he wasn't always nervous, but his desire had won over him a few good times by now. He ruffled his hair and cursed himself, he marched over to the sink, placing one hand steadily on either side he leaned in close and studied his own reflection. “Get yourself together!” he whispered to himself. He didn't find himself very convincing.

 

Ueda stared at the door, the shower hadn't been turned on yet so he frowned; what on earth was going on on the other side of that door. He sighed, the shower had made him cool down temper wise. He'd been quite riled up when he impulsively grabbed Ryo and dragged him off along with him. Koki had been bothering him all day, and Kame and Jin's obvious displays of affection wasn't making life any easier. He gritted his teeth as he remembered the way Jin's hands had been at almost all times been on Kame and the passionate looks the two exchanged. And not to mention how Jin started pouting when Kame got into serious working mode and practically ignored the older man. He leaned back on the bed, it creaked underneath him as he remembered the first time he came to this love hotel; he could no longer remember whit who, but it was a while ago. He got up and went to the window, pulling back the curtain and looking out. He could see parts of the city, the night making the buildings stand out only because of their lighting. That's why he liked this room, the view was so beautiful at night.

 

Ueda had been so caught up in the view and his own thoughts that he hadn't noticed that Ryo had come up behind him, he jumped when Ryo wrapped one arm around his waist and pulled him close. “You surprised me. That was fast.” he said calmly “yeah, I had a good shower before we left the studio so I just had a quick one” Ryo said and placed his chin on the elder's shoulder, his lips close to Ueda's ear. Ueda shivered as he felt the moist, hot breath on his skin and the sound of the younger man's breath soothed him as they stood there, all quiet looking at the view. “It's beautiful” Ryo said, gazing out the window. Ueda blinked, he stared at the reflection now. It looked so surreal to him – the way they stood made him think of a happy couple. He couldn't tear his eyes away from the sight, and as he watched and studied the reflection his heart started to race wildly. It was beating so hard that he was afraid that Ryo would hear it. He blushed and looked away from the window.

 

Ryo felt Ueda move nervously in his grip. He looked to the reflection, but the older man had turned his face away so he could not see. Taking this as his cue, Ryo presses his lips to the place just behind the older man's ear. Ryo felt Ueda shiver as he started to trace sweet butterfly kisses down the delicate neck. He lifted his hand and pulled lightly at the collar of the bathrobe to reveal the rest of the neck and beginning of the shoulder – he froze. The red mark was overly visible on the pale skin. The bite mark seemed to jump out at him. An indescribable rage started to bubble up inside him. Without thinking he twisted Ueda around and pressed him up against the window; both hands clasped on the elder's shoulders – holding him in place.

The sudden change took the older man by surprise and he stuttered “wha-what are you doing?!” his voice was half-panicky as he saw no reason for the younger man's anger. Ryo glared at him, gripping the others shoulders tighter “that's a bite mark” Ryo said indicating the arch of the other man's neck with a nod. Ueda's confusion soon turned to understanding and shock. He gaped at Ryo a few times, he couldn't find the words and his throat had gone dry: he'd completely forgotten the mark that Koki had left yesterday. He clasped his hand to his neck, eyes wide as he stared at Ryo.

 

Ueda stuttered “I... this... Koki...” but he stopped when the younger man squeezed his shoulders and dived forward to crushed their lips together. When Ueda gasped for air Ryo slipped his tongue into the older man's mouth, quickly taking control. Ueda moaned against the younger man's lips, and when they broke apart a string of saliva served as witness of their connection. A trail of saliva was visible from the corner of the elder's mouth. Ueda looked away, his body trembling slightly. He tried to push Ryo away, but found himself being steered towards the bed. As Ryo pushed the older man and his knees hit the edge of the bed Ueda fell with a soft thump onto the bed.

Ryo leaned on knee on the bed and leaned down over the older man. The heated look in Ryo's eyes made a shudder go through Ueda. He gasped when Ryo grabbed his arm and pulled it up to his mouth. He kissed Ueda's hand, he turned it around and kissed the older man's wrist – sucking lightly. Ueda moaned, heat growing inside his body. Ryo drew a circle with the tip of his tongue on the older man's wrist, Ueda shuddered and groaned. “I want you...” he kissed Ueda's wrist again “to be...” he stared intently into Ueda's eyes “only mine” he pulled Ueda up and leaned in so that they could kiss again.

 

The places where the younger man touched were burning up and Ueda tossed a little as Ryo placed his other hand on the bare skin, sliding it under the bathrobe and opening it slowly. Ueda moaned as Ryo slid his hand further down his body, fingers digging into the pale skin. Ryo panted as he let his hand go further and further down, he could feel his erection growing harder. He released Ueda's hand and used both hands to untie the older man's bathrobe; he did it slowly enjoying the sight of the other man tossing and turning as the fabric caressed his sensitive skin. Ryo leaned into the older man, pressing his lips against the bite mark. He licked it a few times, Ueda hissed “what are you doing?” Ryo replied flatly “disinfection” before he bit down on the mark; though not hard enough to pierce the skin. Ueda hissed as heat spread from the bite mark on his neck to the rest of his body.

 

Ueda tilted his head back as the younger man placed both hands around his waist and stroked along his hip bone then up over firm abs. Ryo sniggered as the older man's muscles twitched under his hands and Ueda moaned. Ryo made himself comfortable, sitting down and watching the older man's reactions to his touch. He slid his hand up over Ueda's chest, he stroked over the lush nipples and the older man gasped and shuddered. “You're so sensitive” Ryo said huskily sliding his fingers over the nipple again. “don't. Tease.” Ueda said between groans, he grabbed the sheets and gripped them, his hands clenched to fists.

 

Ryo stroked his hand along the sides of the older man's body, he followed his form down to his thigh “Ah!AHn. NGH!” Ueda shivered as the hand gently glided along the outer side of his thigh and down to around his kneecap; where Ryo playfully swiped his fingers around and behind his knee, the sensation was ticklish and the older man retracted his leg as the younger man sniggered. Ryo then let his hand glide up on the inside of the older man's thigh, he held his breath as he watched the older man groan impatiently “I said. Don't tease. N~!” Ryo didn't say anything as his hand moved closer and closer to the older man's erect member. Before his finger's reached it, he licked his lips and gazed up to see Ueda's chest heaving in anticipation.

 

He caressed the sack gently with the tips of his fingers, gently letting them trail the skin lightly up to the base of the older man's cock. He used his entire palm to stroke along the vein underneath the cock before he went back to the base again to form a circle using his thumb and index finger that went around the cock; he could feel it twitch. He stroked the member a few times, stroking his thumb over the head, watching as pre-cum appeared and hearing the many moans that escaped the older man's lips. He smirked, closing his entire hand around the shaft and pumping.

 

Ryo leaned forward he blew on the head, Ueda twitched, he kissed it gently and heard the older man moan loudly and felt as he shuddered. He parted his lips and took the member in his mouth, swallowing it down with eager. Ueda's body gave a powerful jolt he wanted to come so badly, his body was burning and the younger man torturing him. Ueda let go of the sheets and weaved his fingers into Ryo's hair, pushing the younger man forward so that he was forced to take in more of the older man's cock. Ryo chocked slightly when the hard cock hit the back of his throat, he took a second to get used to the feeling of having something pushed so far down his throat before he started working on it with everything that came to mind.

 

Soon Ueda was writhing underneath him, wailing and pushing and pulling at the back of his head. The older man elevated his back, going into an arch before he started to buck his hips; pushing Ryo towards him as he came in Ryo's mouth. Ryo quickly sat back up, couching as he contemplated what to do. Ueda gazed up at him and opened his mouth and closed It again to gulp then as he opened it again Ryo swallowed the sperm. Ueda's eyes were wide as he stared at the man “did you just swallow?!” he asked shocked gathering his strength to sit up straight. Ryo wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and just gave the older man a meaningful look.

 

Ueda blushed and looked down “why? Why did you do that?” he demanded as the blush that had faded slightly quickly returned “because I wanted to” Ryo said simply. Ueda shook his head and said his voice half-chocked “it's dirty!” Ryo leaned forward and placed his hand under Ueda's chin and tilted his face upwards, and as he stared into the older man's eyes he said deeply “nothing about you is dirty” Ueda stared back; he wanted to cry, throw himself into the younger man's arms. He used the back of his hand to wiped his face, removing the mixture of sweat and tears. He looked at the man and his eyes trailed down the lean body; his bathrobe had come undone and most of his chest was visible. Ueda also realized that “you didn't...” he stared at Ryo's lap. Ryo chuckled and said with a sly grin “then let's fix that, shall we?” he teased.

 

Ueda started forward but Ryo stopped him, pulling his face up to level his own and kissing him passionately. Ueda groaned as Ryo slipped his tongue into his mouth, exploring the hot cavern intensely. Ueda groaned slipping his hands from Ryo's hair and down to pull at the bathrobe. It came off with ease; sliding down his body revealing the lean body and the lightly tanned skin. Ueda opened the bathrobe and pulled it almost off. Ryo let go of him to do the rest, he tossed it to the floor and quickly climbed on top of the older man, forcing him to part his thighs.

 

“Hurry. I want you in me” Ueda pleaded, and Ryo almost came just from the words. He shuddered and gripped the sheets tightly. He quickly leaned over to the nightstand retrieving the pack of lube and a condom. He tore the lube open and poured it onto his fingers and in his hand before he moved his hand to smear the older man's ass with it. He poked the puckered hole with his fingers – feeling it twitch. He smiled and pushed a finger inside; it went in easily so he pushed the second in. Ueda groaned, grabbing the sheets again as Ryo started thrusting his fingers into the older man. He scissored his fingers inside and enjoyed the sight of Ueda twitching and wailing. He added a third finger, pushing it in and out, listening to the squelching noises that were being produced mixed in with the older man's moaning.

 

Ryo had four fingers inside Ueda now, he thrust them in hard and poked around trying to find “AHH!!ANG!!” the sweet spot inside the older man. He smirked and rubbed the spot some more, Ueda shivered and elevated his hips slightly. Ryo looked at the older man and sniggered “you're so wet” he used his other hand to pump the shaft of the older man's erection. Ueda wailed as he felt overstimulated and he tossed and turned, he felt like he was going to melt he was so hot. “Ryo- please- in me... now!” Ueda whimpered and reached out for the younger man; sliding his fingers along Ryo's jawline. Ryo hissed he, he wanted to pound into the older man, but he held back. He grabbed the condom, opened it and put it on the he grabbed Ueda's legs and positioned himself in front of the older man's entrance.

 

He heard the older man taking a series of calming breaths “I'll be gentle” he whispered, the older man tensed – he was not used to such treatment. He gripped at the sheets as the younger man poked his hole and started to push in. Both men groaned loudly as Ryo's manhood sank into the heat that was Ueda. He hissed as the heat surrounded his hard cock completely and the walls twitched. He stood still, his hands placed on either side of Ueda to support him. His arms shivered as the older man shifted slightly, he groaned loudly. He had closed his eyes, but suddenly Ueda took Ryo's face in his hands “move.” he commanded.

 

Ryo gulped and gently he started to thrust into the older man, making him moan with every thrust. Ueda spread his legs even more as he wrapped his arms around Ryo's neck, he opened his mouth and stuck his tongue half way out, Ryo took the hint and leaned down and they kissed deeply. Ueda moaned loudly when Ryo found that sweet spot inside him and he arched his back due to the pleasure. Ryo groaned when the older man clamped down on him, he felt electricity dance across his skin and where ever their bodies came into contact felt like they were burning.

 

Suddenly Ryo grabbed the older man's legs, putting them on his shoulders; Ueda wailed loudly. He tore at the sheets so that they came loose of the mattress and the edges flew into the air. Ryo kept on thrusting into the older man; varying his pace and testing out the effects of moving his hips differently. He tried to circle and he saw that it caused a great reaction when Ueda's eyes flew open and tears appeared at the same time as he wailed louder than before. He tried attacking from the sides, pushing into the older man. Ueda wailed and cried, pulling at the sheets that had come undone.

 

Ryo let one of the older man's legs go, but grabbed the other and held it in a firm grip. When the other leg hit the bed, Ryo hastily threw his over it so that he could continue to thrust into Ueda who moaned and was close to tearing the sheets. “AH. AHN! AHA! NG~AHN!!” Ueda wailed as Ryo's hard cock was thrusting into him mercilessly and he could do nothing else but lie there and take it – which to him was pretty unusual for normally he was the one in control. He gritted his teeth and sucked in air grabbing the pillow and biting down on it trying to stifle his moans. “don't do that” Ryo panted “I want to hear your sexy moans” and leaned down to grab Ueda's hand. But Ueda refused and gripped the pillow tighter.

 

Ryo suddenly grabbed Ueda's arm and yanked him over so that he was facing the younger man again before Ryo grabbed both of his arms and pulled him up so that he was practically sitting in Ryo's lap. Ryo had his arms securely placed around the older man's waist. He chuckled as he used a combination of hips, thighs and arms to almost throw the older man up then bring him down and thrust up at the same time. Ueda wailed, saliva running from both corners of his mouth, eyes watering as the hard member pierced him, hitting that sweet spot deep inside him. Indesperation Ueda grabbed his cock and started pumoing it for dear life. He threw his head back as the explosion set off “AH. NAH!AH. Oh GOD! YES! AH! AH!!AHN!! CUMMING!!!” he yelled at the top of his lounges, tearing at his throat painfully. An electric wave danced through his entire body, shaking him to his core as he bounced up and down on Ryo's cock. He dug his fingers into Ryo's back and the younger man hissed in pain one moment and in the next he was moaning loudly. Ueda clamped down on him, and the added friction of the older man bouncing up and down on his cock made Ryo come hard inside the older man. He groaned loudly as he rode out his orgasm, shuddering and panting hard as if he'd just run a mile.

 

Ueda collapsed forward onto Ryo who held him up. “holy...” Ryo said, he was out of breath and clutched Ueda as he calmed down. He lay the exhausted Ueda down on the bed again and gently pulled out of him. As he did the older man shuddered, whimpering slightly and closing his eyes. Ryo pulled off the condom and reached for the box of tissues and bringing them to him. He first wiped his own cock; wrapping the used condom into the tissue and throwing it in the trashcan. He then wiped off Ueda who groaned unhappily. “don't. I'll shower.” he said and pushed Ryo's hand away “fine. Want help getting to the bathroom?” Ryo asked. Slightly taken aback Ueda closed his eyes and felt his own body, he could tell that if he stood up his knees would immediately give-way. He sighed and nodded, sitting up and letting Ryo carry him to the bathroom.

 

Once inside and after the younger man had left, Ueda went straight for the mirror; he stared at his reflection and pinched his cheek. “what the hell is wrong with you?!” he demanded off himself. He glared at the man in the mirror, who did nothing but glare back. He sighed and turned on the shower. He looked down at his stomach: the white sperm splattered all over his torso he stared. Had he ever climaxed like this before? He pondered as he stepped into the shower, washing his upper body first and then starting to get all of that lube out of himself. He hissed, he was still pretty sensitive and as he continued he felt a small wave of heat rise again. He shook his head and shoved the notion aside. He placed both hands against the shower wall, sighing deeply.

 

Ryo stared at the bathroom door, he was nervous for the older man. He really hadn't been quite steady on his feet. He listened, but all he could hear was the water running. He lay back against the pillows and after a short moment he grinned like an idiot and chuckled. Ryo had never felt like this before, never this possessive and never this jealous – at least not for a reason like that. He wondered about the bite mark again. Ueda had said that it was Tanaka who'd done it. He wondered if a showdown with the other man was a way top go, and just as the thought crossed his mind Ueda came out. Now he only had a towel wrapped around his waist. Ryo watched him walk, he was a little better now, but he wobbled slightly over to the bed.

 

Ueda sat down and glanced back at Ryo “aren't you also...” he was cut off by the younger man “yeah, I just wanna ask you something” Ueda nodded and started to do something or anotehr with his hair while Ryo spoke. “About that bite mark...” Ryo paused as he saw the older man twitch. “was it Tanaka that made it?” he knew he was being very direct, but he wanted an answer. Ueda pulled himself up to a more comfortbale position on the bed – leaning back against the pillows, trying his best to avoid looking at the younger man. He wanted to clear this foul stench out of the air before it polluted anything “It was a misunderstanding. When I said no Koki thought I was playing hard to get, so he bit me” he said, still not looking at Ryo.

 

He could almost hear Ryo go tense and glanced in the younger man's general direction to see Ryo glaring ahead at no one in particular. But when Ueda his gaze he saw that on the bedside table there was a lamp with a round screen, kind of like a human head. He hurriedly looked back at Ryo saying “if you smash that, you're paying for it!” in a sarcastic tone, he saw that the eyes were moved from the lamp to himself and he felt a little apprehensive. Ryo crawled up to the older man, who had gone a little rigid. He sat down and stared at him intently “Fine. I trust you”he said in an angry voice “but if he doesn't stay clear of you, I'll take him out!” his voice was determined when he said it and he waved his fist in the hair. Ueda looked at the younger man in disbelief; sure, the two men were of about the same build in many ways, but Koki did martial arts and as far as Ueda knew, Ryo only worked out.

As he imagined the younger man challenging Koki to a fight he couldn't help himself and started laughing. Ryo glared and asked in an annoyed tone “what?” Ueda looked at him, a big smile on his face “even if it sounds impossible” he chuckled some more before he continued “I'll take your word for it!” he glanced at the frowning Ryo, laughing some more. When Ryo's determination didn't fade, Ueda gave him an exasperated “ I'm not a princess that needs to be fought over!” he said coolly, now it was Ryo's turn to smile “what?” Ueda asked coldly “oh, nothing. Just looking at you, I just thought hime suited you very well” Ueda blushed and grabbed a pillow which he threw at Ryo who was chuckling.

 

“Shut up!” Ueda demanded “yes, hime” Ryo replied and laughed some more. Ueda was growing furious, he would not stand for the younger man teasing him like this. He was about to throw a second pillow at the younger man when Ryo lay down the pillow Ueda had already thrown at him, then leaned closer, kissing Ueda sweetly: the kiss was so sweet and hot that Ueda faltered under it and he moaned happily, warmth spreading throughout his entire body. “let's sleep now” Ryo said sweetly, his voice barely a whisper as he took Ueda's hand, kissed his cheek when he was weaving their fingers together and lying down next to the older man.

 

Ueda stared down at Ryo, he could feel that he was blushing and that his heart was racing. He gulped and took a hand to his hot face. Ryo watched him, his heart racing too, and he decided to risk it “are you alright, Tatsuya” suddenly Ueda's gaze met his, eyes wide. Ryo could feel himself blush and he buried his face in the pillow as he said “don't stare at me like that, Tatsuya” when he looked up again he was shocked to find that the older man was crying. Tears flowed down Ueda's face, he couldn't stop them. Slightly panicky, Ryo sat up and pulled Ueda into his arms. Ueda fell against the younger man's chest as warm arms were wrapped around him, holding him in a tight embrace.

 

“Don't cry. Don't show such an expression. 'Cuz I don't know what to do when it happens.” Ryo said his voice kind of strained as the older man clung to him. They sat in silence for a short while, just holding each other. Ueda blinked “what the hell am I doing?” the thought exploded in his mind and he pushed away from Ryo; who was taken aback but the abrupt action. Ueda stared at him in his eyes were shock and fear “that... that just now...” he could hardly produce a sentence “... I'm not used to... calling my name all intimately like that... so sudden... I was surprised... “Ryo just looked at him, just letting the wave hit him, comprehension washed over him and he leaned forward “ no one calls you by your name like this?” Ryo asked suddenly feeling quite cocky in a sense. Ueda glanced at him “no, it's only natural. Out of all of them none of them were really my lover, it was just a physical relationship that didn't call for such things” Ueda muttered “you just surprised me, okay. It's nothing to be bothered about!” he insisted and pulled further away.

“Nothing to be bothered about?” Ryo repeated “I disagree. I want to call your name, like now and when I see you and especially when we're...” - “Shut up!” Ueda interrupted “I said there's no need!” he sniffed and looked in the opposite direction “Tatsuya” Ryo said in a stern voice, Ueda twitched “I want to break that wall you've built, and if calling you're name a thousand... no, a million times is what it takes to break that wall then...” Ueda cut him off again “what wall?!” - “the wall you've created to keep people out. My guess is that you've created that wall in fear of rejection but without you realizing it this wall was the reason no one could truly create a proper relationship with you.” Ryo said, calmly not looking away from the older man. Ueda turned to look at him, disbelief in his eyes “You've watched too many dramas” Ueda said coldly.

 

Ryo sighed and reached out touching the older man with the tips of his fingers “I'll not only break that wall... I'll crush it.” his determination apparent. Ueda couldn't tear his eyes away from the younger man, he sniffed again and wiped some tears from his eyes. Was what Ryo said really true? He had no idea. The only one who ever call out to him while they were having sex was Koki, but even he didn't call him Tatsuya. He called Tatchan. But he wasn't about to reveal that to the older man, just in case he might actually call Koki out and start a fight. And from there things could get messy, real messy. So he held his tongue and only watched the younger man's determined face.

 

It took Ueda a moment to notice that his heart was pounding, he felt sort of light as if he was floating. He took his time and embraced the peculiar feeling, warm and fuzzy and ridiculously happy. He blinked, and blinked again Ryo grabbed his hand with a determined strength and said warmly “now, let's sleep” Ueda's heart lurched and he retracted his hand quickly, much faster than normal Ryo frowned at him “what's wrong?” Ueda blushed, his eyes darting about the room before they settled at his feet and he said in a strained voice “y-yes. Sleep. Um... good night!” he threw himself down and pulled the cover up to his eyes. What was this? His heart was about to pound out of his chest. “al-right” Ryo said uncertainly and tucked himself in “good night” he called and switched off the light. Ueda shivered, he could feel the other man's presence behind him: so warm it was bound to drive him crazy. He quickly switched off the light. And so the two men fell asleep next to each other for the first time.


	4. Outdoor shooting of the Lavender Boys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> KAT-TUN are going on an outdoor, on location shoot and who do they meet there other than NEWS. Alcohol, outdoor baths and a fishy story what will happen now?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We'll be texting here and it looks like “[this]”^^
> 
> If you don't know the story of the lavender boys go [(Here)](http://mojjo1990.livejournal.com/60971.html)

“So today and tomorrow is an outdoor shooting” manager-san said, he wobbled when the bus made a sudden turn. “We'll be staying until the day after tomorrow, leaving around mid-day, so everyone play nice” he said in a joking manner, no-one laughed. He looked at the group: Koki, Maru and Taguchi were animatedly discussing something, laughing and pointing at each other – just like normal. Ueda was sitting by himself, listening to music as he stared out the window – also normal. But what wasn't normal was Kame and Jin; they were sitting together, and smiling at each other as they spoke in hushed voices. As he watched Jin poked Kame's cheek and the other one blushed, doing the same in return. He blinked, his eyes must be deceiving him. He sat down, thinking about it for a short while before deciding that there really was nothing to worry about.

 

They arrived a the hotel just on time and were bustled off to clothes, then to hair and make-up while the managers check them into the hotel. Ueda walking behind everyone else as he drifted off to his own little world. Koki fell back and tried to start a conversation with the older man, but no matter what he said he couldn't pull Ueda out of that state. He gave up before they entered hair and make-up, and he remained distant for quite a while. When they were told they could go to lunch the whole group marched off together. Working had brought Ueda back down from whatever could he's been on earlier that day and he chatted happily with Kame as they walked to the hotel restaurant.

 

When they arrived Jin, who'd been walking in front suddenly exclaimed “Yamapi! What a coincidence, are you guys working too?” he asked happily, the rest of KAT-TUN cleared the door to see past Jin to look at the table completely occupied by food and the members of NEWS. At the sound of Jin's voice most of the group had turned around and after spotting Jin, Ryo's eyes fell on Ueda who quickly looked away. Annoyed Ryo wanted to go over there and stare him down, but knew better than to provoke the older man and not to mention reveal their relationship.

 

Ueda felt the burning eyes on him, so he avoided going near NEWS's table when he went to sit down. He sat with his back to the other man, praying that nothing would happen. Jin went over to seat himself between Ryo and Yamapi “are you also staying overnight?” he asked Pi but it was Ryo who answered “yeah, we're staying” Tegoshi cut in “But, Ryo-chan I though you said you had to go back...” he gave the older man a puzzled look “ah, I talked to my parents, they said I should be a good group member and stay until the job is done” he chuckled. Which struck the other members by surprise since none of them could recall seeing Ryo with his cellphone since he'd left it in the hotel room this morning, and as far as they knew, he hadn't left the sett at all.

 

Ueda tried to block the conversation out, but it was hard since there were hardly anyone else making any noise what-so-ever in the restaurant. He sighed just as the waiter arrived and Jin came hurrying back to KAT-TUN's table. As the members of NEWS were done eating they said quick good-bye's to the other group, but as soon as Yamapi had disappeared out of the door Jin jumped to his feet and ran after him. When he returned few moments later he announced “we'll meet them later tonight. Go to the onsen and stuff” he chirped and returned to his seat, he started talking to Kame and lunch pretty much just disappeared and they soon had to return to the shoot.

 

Once outside again, they spotted NEWS on the other side of the garden, Jin waved at Yamapi who signaled back. They followed manager-san and walked away towards the greenhouses – at least that's what the sign said. They were all given a quick briefing on the concept of today's shoot and told that as well as group and singular photos, they'd be doing pairs and groups of three. Ueda quickly found himself glomped by Taguchi as the photo shoot progressed. He also found himself in Kame's embrace with Jin jumping on him from the other side and relaxing with Maru doing cute and odd poses. Maru started joking around, they laughed heartily and more shoots were taken with the photographer jumping around like an hyperactive brat yelling “yes!Yes! That's it! Yes! You've got it!! Beautiful!!” and so on.

 

No one had noticed that some of the NEWS members had come over to have a look. And while Koyama and Yamapi sniggered at the whole thing, Ryo felt hot and annoyed. He wanted nothing more than to go over there and grab Ueda, or stand between them facing Nakamaru with a “keep-your-hands-off”-expression. But he knew that causing a scene here would be bad; not only for himself but for Ueda and the rest of his friends as well. So instead he turned on his heel and marched away, trying to cool down his head.

 

When the photo shoot was over and they'd all gone back to the hotel and sat down for dinner Jin voiced “were are they?” no one wondered who they were since it was obvious and Maru was the one who voiced Ueda's thoughts “they've probably already eaten since they finished before us.” he said spiritedly, digging into his food. Ueda looked around nervously, but when his eyes suddenly met Koki's stare he quickly looked down at his plate. Just then manager-san came in, Jin immediately asked “can we drink?!” everyone else rolled their eyes. The manager looked thoughtful for a moment before he answered “heck, you don't have to be ready until noon tomorrow anyway so I guess it's alright. Just don't go overboard, I don't want any complaints when it's time to wake up tomorrow!” he said waving a warning finger at them. Everyone except Jin, who answered enthusiastically, mumbled their answer as they chomped down some more food.

 

Jin immediately ordered some beer, and as the waiter moved away he yanked his cellphone out of his pocket and started typing “[Can you guys drink?? -Jin]” he sent the message and a few seconds later he received one “[Yeah, we're drinking right now! Come join us? -Pi]” Jin chuckled, taking another bite before he started typing again “[Eating. Join you later, where are you? -Jin]” he put down his phone after he'd sent the message, and just as his beer arrived his phone buzzed lightly where it lay next to his plate. “[OK. We're occupying a room next to the outdoor baths. -Pi]” Jin smiled to himself as he took a swing at his beer “[OK. Be there soon! -Jin]” he then tucked his phone away and continued eating with haste before he announced casually to the others “we'll be joining NEWS after this” Maru was the only one who seemed interested and he asked “where are they” - “I've no idea. Pi said somewhere next to the outdoor baths.” Jin said checking the last message again, Maru just nodded and apart from him everyone else seemed to ignore Bakanishi's selfish actions.

 

After dinner Ueda went to find his room, he was lead to it by one of the hotel staff and as he thanked her Taguchi came along, already wearing his yukata. “Uepi, let's go! Let's go!” Ueda looked away frowning “I'm not going to that party!” he said in a determined tone “oh, that. Me neither, I'm going to the hot springs. I asked Koki but he said he wanted to drink.” Ueda relaxed, he wanted to stay clear of Ryo as much as possible, because lately every time he saw Ryo, someone who looked like Ryo or sounded like him, his heart would immediately start to pound. He didn't know what it was and he hated it. “And let's play table-tennis after that ne~!” Taguchi said with a smile that seriously stretched from ear to ear. Ueda couldn't help but laugh at the other man's childlike innocence at times, so he shook his head “fine” Taguchi beamed at him “nice, I'll just go on ahead, alright?” Taguchi chirped “OK. I'll be right there!” Ueda went inside just as Taguchi ran past his door. He wasted no time undressing and putting on the yukata that had been prepared for him. When he looked at himself in the mirror he had to stop for a second look; the yukata he was wearing was, if anything, very girly. He studied it some more, but realizing he didn't have so much time left he thought he'd just have a chat with one of the staff members about fixing it, but he had to go now. Once he came out he heard some hysteric giggling from around the corner and turned around just in time to see some of the female staff disappearing around the corner “Ah, so they set me up~” he thought to himself, slightly amused by it.

 

He hurried towards the outdoor baths, but on his way a bustle of girls stood lurking near another corner. As he came up behind them he could hear them talking hurriedly to one another “see, KAT-TUN and NEWS are in that room over there!” said one with a red kimono “ah, indeed. And did you see Jin-kun he looked so cool in that yukata!!” said the girl next to her in yellow, and they all kya'ed a little. Ueda rolled his eyes at them “did you see the way he had his arm around Kame-chan?! Gyaa~ my heart was beating so fast! Ne, isn't it kinda... suspicious?!” they laughed happily “excuse me!” Ueda said loudly, the girls fell silent in an instant as they turned around, eyes wide. They all simultaneously slapped their hands over their mouths; Ueda raised an eyebrow at them and they hurried to stand up straight so that he could pass. He chuckled and said to them “you'd better keep it down so that you don't disturb the other guests!” he winked at them, just to see if they would listen to him, and they suddenly clapped their hands over each others mouths – just as he hurried away he could hear them going berserk and running around, he got some distance between them before he started laughing loudly.

 

As he walked towards the entrance to the baths he suddenly heard Taguchi laughing loudly, but it wasn't coming from the baths. He located the source and walked towards it. He slid the door open, and as he walked in he saw Taguchi chatting happily with Koyama, who was bent over laughing; though, as Ueda figured, that was only because of that glass of beer in his hand. Taguchi looked up and spotted him “ah, Uepi! Uwaa~ That yukata suits you well, but isn't it meant for girls?” Ueda blushed “yeah, I think the female staff just wanted to see me in it” he said everyone turned around to greet him, but after doing so almost everyone looked away: Ryo and Koki were left staring. “Oh, Tatchan, come join us” Koki said waving beer in the air. “No thanks” Ueda called, lifting his hand to decline. He walked into the room and called out Taguchi again “Taguchi, weren't you supposed to wait for me in the baths?” he felt eyes on him, hot burning eyes and his chest squeezed tight – Ryo was staring intently at him. “Oh, yeah sorry, I was captured by Koyama on the way there, sorry” he really did look apologetic as he said it, so Ueda sighed.

 

“You were going to the baths just the two of you?” Ueda was probably the only one to notice the ice cold undertone in Ryo's voice. Quickly he glanced at the younger man, but the second their eyes met his heart gave a sudden jolt and he looked away quickly. Ryo tried his best not to respond to the older man's cold gesture, but his hands turned to fists under the table. Taguchi got to his feet and started towards Ueda, grabbing his arm and yanking him along “then let's go!” he said loudly, waving his other arm in the air. “Wait a sec!” Jin yelled “let's all go in the baths! And afterwards we can go to someone's room. Who has the biggest room?” he exclaimed excitedly “that would be Ryo-chan!” Tegoshi said his voice kind of slurry as he leaned over Ryo with his whole body. Ueda felt his chest tighten for some unknown reason. Jin looked at Ryo and asked “can we?” Ryo looked from him to Ueda to Jin again, “yeah, if yah get to rowdy I guess I'll just sleep somewhere else” he said, Jin sniggered “off we go!” Yamapi said loudly and clapped his hands.

 

Everyone got to their feet except Ryo and Tegomass, Massu was occupied eating and, as Tegoshi said laughing “if he goes in now, he'll definitely get leg cramps!”. When everyone else had left Tegoshi made his way over to Massu and practically crawled into his lap, immediately falling asleep. Ryo took another swing of his beer before he said “I don't like it” Massu looked up for a split second from his food before he looked down again and answered “what?” - “everyone touching Ueda so easily” Ryo said annoyed “hm... I hadn't really noticed” Massu said between mouthfuls. “Especially that Nakamaru!” Ryo exclaimed setting his glass down hard. “oh, yeah. Did you know, those two often go on trips together.” Massu said casually, Ryo felt his chest tighten and his senses sharpen when he got steadily more annoyed and angry “trips? Just those two?” - “yeah, it's a funny story: a few years ago they went to Hokkaido together to see the lavender fields.” Massu said matter-of-factually, Ryo felt a lump in his stomach and had to ask “did they stay in the same room?” - “no, they both denied strongly on that point. But Nakamaru told me about a strange dream he had.” he took another bite before Ryo urged him to continue “they'd both been drinking ne, and Nakamaru had this strange dream of Ueda giving him a blow job.” Massu snickered “it seems to have left quite an impression on him” he laughed some more, but stopped and looked at the other man since he wasn't laughing of Nakamaru's odd dream; he was surprised to find the man looking angry and annoyed “Ryo-chan, what's wrong?” he asked and leaned closer, but as he did Tegoshi complained so he quickly sat back up again.

 

Ryo's hands were fists again, kneading and kneading as anger rose in him, he was certain that Nakamaru's dream was no dream at all. “Excuse me, I'm going to the baths.” he said angrily and stood up, sort of shocked Massu couldn't say much except “okay”. After swallowing once he added “I'll see if I can bring this one back to life...” but before he'd finished his sentence Ryo was already out the door. He stormed for the baths, tearing the door open; shocking an older man who was just on the other side. “Excuse me!” he said heatedly, storming inside and tearing his yukata off before he hurried to wash himself off. He stomped into the open baths and heard the rest of his party making a racket and headed for the source. “Oh, Ryo-chan you finally came!” Jin yelled as he waved happily, an arm wrapped around Kame's shoulder.

 

Ryo marched over, looking around. He spotted Ueda between Taguchi and Nakamaru, and headed in that direction with determined steps. When he squeezed himself in between Ueda and Nakamaru he could feel a lot of eyes on him “Ryo, what are you doing? Come sit over here.” Jin said in a half-astonished voice “No. Me and Ueda are gonna reconcile. Work out our past disagreements.” Ryo said without looking at Jin, he stared at Nakamaru as though he was his worst enemy. Everyone eyed him with curiosity; lookig from him to Ueda, who seemed particularly fascinated by his right hand as he kept staring at it. Avoiding the other man in any way possible it seemed. Koki noticed Ueda's discomfort and locked eyes on Ryo saying in a mildly threatening tone “I don't think Ueda wants to sort out anything with you at the moment, Nishikido.” the two men established eye contact; trying to stare each other down. “I don't think that's any of your business, Tanaka.” Ryo said in an equally threatening voice, Maru cut in “what the heck are you two getting so railed up over?” - “stay out of it, Yuuchi!” Koki said in a hard tone “yeah, stay out of it big nose!” Ryo said angrily. “Ok, that's enough. Both of you let it rest!” Yamapi and Jin said unanimously. The two angry men broke the eye contact with a loud “hpfm” sound. Ryo suddenly got to his feet “I'm outa here!” and stomped away. Ueda breathed a sigh of relief, his heart was finally calming as he watched the younger man disappear into the mist.

 

Angrily he slammed his fist against the lockers, the few others around him looked shocked and started to slowly move away form him. He cussed as he dried himself off and put his clothes back on before heading out the door. Ryo stalked over to the party room and opened the door slowly, but he stopped in his tracks when he saw what was going on inside. Taken totally off guard he was pretty shocked and all ill thoughts were cleared form his mind. Tegoshi had indeed crawled out of Massu's lap, but he had fare from left it. His face buried between Massu's legs as the older man leaned back; one hand weaved into the younger man's hair the other supporting himself. “Ahn~Tegoshi. If you keep doing that I'll n~” he bit his lower lip, stifling a moan. Tegoshi chuckled as he slipped off the older man's cock, a string of saliva hanging between the hard member and his mouth. “Ne, Massu. Maybe we should head back to the room. It'll be bad if someone sees us~” Tegoshi purred but Massu couldn't help but notice that hint in the younger man's voice that he really didn't care if they were seen. He chuckled lightly and yanked him close, crushing their lips together. “Yeah, let's go” he muttered after letting go. They grinned at each other, Tegoshi rubbing up against Massu like some kitten. Ryo blinked “since when were they in such a relationship?!” he thought. He closed the door and stepped away. He had to get out of there before the two men emerged. He bustled away, down the hall and out of sight.

 

After Ryo left Ueda's heart was still stirred when he suddenly spoke to Taguchi “let's go play table-tennis!” his voice oddly enthusiastic. He grabbed Taguchi's arm arm yanked him up and out of the bath. “Uepi, what's wrong?” Taguchi said in a concerned tone as he was being dragged along by the older man. It didn't take Ueda long to change back into his yukata and ready to march off. Taguchi, who was still drying his hair, said carefully “why don't you go ahead?” Ueda nodded silently and stepped out. The hall beyond was deserted, he hesitated for a second before marching off in the direction of where the room with the table-tennis was. He hadn't gotten far when Taguchi caught up with him. There was no one in the room when they arrived, and quickly Taguchi found the stuff they needed to play.

 

They started playing and before long Taguchi was in the lead. Ueda tried his best, but kept missing the ball as it came towards him. He started getting a little annoyed at the same time as Taguchi's extravagant competitive nature was raging, making the whole situation quite ridiculous. Ueda laughed and looked up. He hadn't noticed the windows before now: it was dark outside, so he figured they'd been playing for a while now. He unfocused his eyes and saw his reflection in the glass. He stared at it, his clothes had come undone at the top and he was sort of sweaty so his fringe was wet and sticking to his forehead. He unfocused a little, staring at his reflection his mind growing dazed. Seeing hands wrapping around his waist, a hand sneaking in past his yukata and caressing his chest. He shivered slightly, unable to tear his eyes away from the reflection and what it was doing to him.

 

His mind in a haze he only caught fragments of what Taguchi was saying “only be mine” was what he heard and memories exploded in his mind. The sweet sensation of hands on his skin. The way lips traveled over his most sensitive parts and the way he had been explored. Ueda shuddered, his heart rate increasing rapidly. Ueda felt strange; heart pounding and it was getting hard to catch his breath and when Taguchi spoke again he seemed so faraway. He gulped, pulling at his yukata and shuddered as the fabric caressed his skin gently. He blinked as Taguchi continued to speak, his body growing hot and bothered. His mind searched for logic why he was feeling like this, his body was growing impatient as he leaned on the table for some support.

 

He could hear the younger man calling his name and saw him coming towards him: closer and closer then passing him. Ueda turned around to see Taguchi bent over retrieving something from the floor. The sight made Ueda's heart throb and he staggered closer until he was right up close just as Taguchi turned around. Taguchi gave a sudden jolt, clearly surprised that Ueda was this close. “Uepi, what is it?” he asked slightly uncomfortable. He noticed that the older man seemed rather distant and he hadn't responded to anything for a while. Taguchi noted that the older man's face was a little red, which he found strange since Ueda was a boxer and this kind of activity and the time they had played seemed insufficient for him to end up like this – at least in his opinion, then again they had just been in the baths. Suddenly he felt worried “ne, Uepi, are you alright? Your face is kind of red. Do you have a fever?” he asked carefully grabbing the older man's shoulders in a firm grip.

 

When Ueda felt the tight grip on his shoulders his mind immediately made Ryo appear in his mind, awakening his senses and setting him off. He shuddered and grabbed a hold of the front of the younger man's yukata “Uepi?” Taguchi asked carefully squeezing Ueda's shoulders. The older man leaned against Taguchi, grinding up against him and the younger man's eyes widened in shock. Ueda was digging his fingers into the fabric, clawing at the younger man. He groaned softly as he was attracted to the exposed skin of Taguchi's chest, and he leaned in to softly kiss the younger man's collar bone; sucking lightly. Taguchi took a sharp intake of air as the older man let his lips trace down his chest, gripping the older man's shoulder's again he heard Ueda moan sweetly. He felt his heart racing and was growing steadily hotter as the older man went further and further down; arms sliding down his body with the older man's progression. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back – surrendering to Ueda.

 

Suddenly Ueda was yanked away from his grip, and his eyes snapped open to see Ueda in Koki's arms. Taguchi gaped at them, opening and closing his mouth a few times before saying “Koki, what is going on?” Koki looked flustered and kind of panicked “you're drunk! You're both drunk!” he said loudly “But, Uepi didn't drink-” Taguchi said meekly “Then he got too hot in the baths. Anyway, I'm taking him with me. Forget that this ever happened!” he almost shouted before he hurried away Ueda still clasped securely in his arms.

 

Koki almost ran down the hall way, he found a spot that was very dark and kinda out of sight and pushed the older man against the wall: weaving his hands into the elder's hair. Ueda groaned against Koki's lips wrapping his arms around the younger man's neck. Koki let one hand slide down the older man's back making Ueda shiver. Ueda grind his hips against Koki's, he hissed and bit his lower lip as he received some much needed stimulation to his burning member. Koki's hand found it's way to the older man's ass, where he grabbed a cheek and squeezed it tight, making Ueda shuddered. Ueda broke the kiss to lean in close to the other man, taking a deep breath in the arch of the younger man's neck. He frowned, this wasn't Ryo's scent. He opened his eyes to see the pierced ear he hadn't been reluctant to bite a few weeks ago. Suddenly his heart was pounding painfully in his chest and just as he was about to push away the voice he least wanted to hear shot through the asilence like a bullet “Oi, what the fuck is going on here?!” Ryo stood a few meters from the two men. He glared, the crease between his brows had never been deeper.

 

Ueda's heart gave a painful jolt as he pushed Koki away, he didn't dare look directly at Ryo for he could feel the Osaka man's anger: it filled up the little space and seemed to press against him from every direction. He winced as Koki gripped his arm “that's none of your goddamned business, Nishikido!” he waved his fist at the other man. Ryo stepped closer and said loudly “it is my goddamned business, yah fucking wannabe gangsta!!” Koki stepped closer to and brandished his fist anew. Ryo raised his fists to and said “get your stinking hands off him!” as he indicated Ueda who was covering away from the scene. Koki sneered “what right do you have? Telling me to keep my hands off?! Huh, you, you bastard, had better stay clear of Ueda!” Koki yelled pointing into Ryo's face. Ueda was left speechless, never in his life had he thought that he'd have two men fighting over him like this. He wanted to stop them, but as he started to move Ryo stepped forward and grabbed the front of Koki's yukata “you ba-” he was cut off by the smirking Koki “what, dwarf, not tall enough to even lift lill'me off the ground?” Ryo hissed and a second after his fist connected with the side of Koki's face. Koki stumbled and let go of Ueda “damn you!” he hissed, lifting his hand to his face. He straightened up an launched for the Osaka man who dodged the blow nicely but didn't have time to react before Koki's kick came soaring through the air to hit him. He hit the wall with a loud thud, he was enraged and threw himself towards Koki who leaped out of the way so that Ryo fell against a small table – luckily there was nothing on it.

 

Ueda watched as the two men kept cussing and exchanging blows. He wanted to step between them but couldn't find the right timing since his head was a mess. “You're the one who messed with Ueda! You bullied him, remember?!” Koki yelled as he received another punch from Ryo and Ueda saw blood appear at the corner of his mouth. “That was a long time ago!” Ryo retorted as he received a blow in return. “Motherfucker!” Koki yelled and threw himself at Ryo who flew back and hit the wall, he yelled out in pain and reached for the back of his head. 

Ueda felt his heart being squeezed hard, he didn't like the thought of Ryo seriously hurt. He wanted to stop this fight but how?! He stared between the two men, a desperate look on his face. “Shut your face, brat!” Ryo yelled and punched Koki so that he fell sideways, Ryo pulled himself up to full height, both legs firmly planted on the floor as he said loudly “I love him! And I'm not giving him to anyone!!” the hall became silent. Koki had stopped just as he was about to throw himself at the Osaka man, Ryo blinked stupidly as if he'd just realized what he'd just said himself. He looked from Koki, who was frozen in the position to jump him, to Ueda; who was staring at him as if he couldn't believe what he'd just heard.

Ryo understood as much, he was surprised himself. Since when was he in love with Ueda? He thought it might just be physical attraction, but apparently he'd been wrong. He blushed and his heart throbbed as he felt Ueda's eyes on him, he gaped a few times and looked around in an embarrassed manor. Suddenly the pieces fell into place: he'd been wondering what caused his worries and jealousies, he'd been in many casual relationships, but none of them had sparked this kind of emotion before. He swallowed a few times, because his throat had gone very dry “um... I... I... “ but Koki interrupted “You fucking bastard!” he yelled and launched towards Ryo, but Ueda got between them. He punched Koki hard, and the younger man fell to the ground. Ryo stared and mumbled “wow... K.O” he looked up, half expecting Ueda to jump into his arms. But Ueda grimaced, his face flushed crimson as he pulled back his hand clenched into a fist, and as Ueda's shout of “idiot!” filled his ears and he saw tears in the older man's eyes his heart throbbed. But the next thing Ryo knew everything was black.


	5. Unanswered Questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Confusion takes a hold. Questions are pondered. And Massu eats at the wrong time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As far as I'm concerned both groups have two managers – one male and one female. And all shall remain nameless, only gender will be mentioned.^^

Ueda slammed his fist against the wall, leaning heavily against it. He was flustered, he was panting and his heart was racing as if he'd just run a mile, uphill. He was glad he hadn't run into anyone, he just left the two men lying there. He was shaken and didn't quite know what to think of himself. Normally he would never punch people outside of the ring. He grabbed a fistful of his own hair and shivered as he felt the tears build. The words kept echoing in his mind; he couldn't believe what Ryo had said. It couldn't be true! His face was flushed and his heart racing. Feeling panicky, with his other hand he grabbed the front of his yukata, shaking his head in denial. Ryo had been drinking, yes, that was it: the man was drunk. There was nothing more to it! He slumped to his knees, wrapping his arms around himself.

 

***

 

“Nishikido-kun! Nishikido-kun!” Ryo groaned, he was being shaken awake and he wasn't happy about it. His jaw hurt and he hurt a little all over “damn!” he cussed and sat up. He looked around and saw one of KAT-TUN's managers leaning over Koki; who was sitting up against the wall. There seemed to be a dark cloud hanging over his head, and he wasn't properly responding to his manager's questioning. “Tanaka-kun what on earth happened? Did you and Nishikido-san fight?” his voice kind of shaky as he shook the man gently with a hand on his shoulder. Koki didn't answer, he sat quite still the dark cloud hanging heavily over him. “Nishikido-kun! What happened?” NEWS's manager said wildly, eyes wide looking at him. Ryo looked at himself; seeing the beginnings of bruises all over his body and taking in Koki's appearance, he knew he couldn't lie about how they had gotten those injuries. He lifted his hand to the place that hurt the most, feeling the pain increase as he touched the wound Ueda had given him, and he hissed in pain.

 

Finally Koki moved, he got to his feet and started forward “Koki-kun where are you going?” manager-san asked getting to his feet as well. He didn't answer. Once he got to a little away, he banged his fist against the wall: the sound resonating through the silent hall. He looked back, and he and Ryo made eye contact. Koki clenched his fist as he growled “don't think this is over!” before he walked away, his manager hurrying after him. Ryo stared after the man, watching until he disappeared around the corner, then he relaxed. He ruffled his hair and sat up, crossing his legs. “Nishikido-kun, what happened?” Ryo answered without looking at the manager “we just had an argument that went too far” Ryo said and sighed deeply. Manager-san frowned at the younger man, but she knew from the tone of his voice he wasn't going to get anything more out of him. “Let's go” manager-san said lightly and helped Ryo to his feet.

 

When they returned to Ryo's room, manager-san opened the door and stopped dead “what the hell is going on here?!” she yelled. The room was full of people, glasses, sake bottles and a large quantity of snacks. Here eyes fell on what was right in front of her eyes: which was an half-undressed Kame with a sobbing Jin around his waist howling “no. Don't Kazu. Mine~” as he rubbed his tear stained face into Kame's yukata covered ass. Kame was ignoring him and talking animatedly to Nakamaru, holding the older man's hand. A sudden roar of laughter attracted her attention and she looked to the side and saw Koyama, Shige, YamaPi and Taguchi sitting in a huddle; all of them talking loudly and laughing a lot. She figured they were probably playing some drinking game. She also noted that Taguchi was only wearing his underwear and she suddenly heard Koyama yell “uwa, you really suck at this game, Taguchi-kun!” he then roared with laughter and fell forward. Taguchi looked super annoyed and said loudly “Man, this totally sucks!” then YamaPi chimed in, using a silly voice “you lo~st” throwing an arm out and patting the man's back. Then they all roared with laughter over Taguchi's total defeat.

 

“What the heck is going on here?!” she yelled throwing her arms out. Everyone looked at her, Shige fell over as he tried to look at her. “Whoa, Ryo what happened to you?” YamaPi asked, everyone's eyes went from the woman to Ryo standing behind her. Almost everyone got to their feet and came in a great herd over to the door. Ryo backed away from the mass of men who almost fell over one another as they leaned out of the door. “Ryo-chan, what happened? Are you alright?” Koyama asked loudly; his voice kind of slurred. “Uwaa, you're a total mess” Shige said looking the older man up and down. “Shut up!” Ryo said looking away, right now all he wanted was to be alone. “Everyone out! Out!” manager-san yelled and gestured for everyone to leave the room. Everyone headed out under the direction of YamaPi. Kame pulled his yukata back on and was still ignoring Jin, who clung with one hand to Kame's clothes: following the younger man out, looking like a weeping brat.

 

Once everyone had cleared the room, Ryo glared at the mess that was left. He groaned and looked at manager-san who looked just as annoyed as him over it. “I'll call someone from the hotel staff” she said and scurried away. Ryo marched over to the table and sat down next to it, resting one arm lazily on it. He saw the left over alcohol that had been left behind, he eyed it for a second before he reached out and chugged it down. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand still holding the glass. His thoughts racing and his heart thumping hard in his chest; the sound seemed to fill his ears and seemed to resonate within the room. What had he said? Did he really say it? He couldn't believe he'd said it. But once he'd said it, or rather yelled it, he'd come to realize it himself. He blushed some more. But he felt crushed at the same time; Ueda had punched him. Crying! He felt defeated and sighed heavily. He found a half-empty sake bottle and emptied it. He cussed loudly as he put the bottle down with a loud thud as it hit the table surface.

 

Suddenly the sliding door opened and in came manager-san and some of the hotel staff “what on earth happened in here?” one of the younger staff girls asked appalled by the state of the room. She frowned and looked at Ryo sitting alone among the many scattered glasses and sake bottles. She must think he'd done it all by himself. He rolled his eyes at her just as manager-san asked “can you clean this room up, he needs to sleep” she directed her question to the older woman of the staff. The older woman looked at her and shook her head “Not if he wants to relax properly, airing out this room so that it will be completely free of the smell of alcohol will at least take a day. It would be better for him to have another room. Unfortunately there are no other rooms available” she said waving her arms about the room “that's fine. I think Tegomass are playing in Massu's room so Tegoshi'll probably fall asleep there so his room will be open. I'll just crash there. But thank you for taking your time and coming out here this late” he said standing up and bowing to the staff. Most of them blushed and mumbled “that's alright” before they left. Ryo sighed and gathered up his stuff.

 

Whne they were walking towards Tegoshi's room manager-san asked “how do you know that Tegoshi-kun won't be in his room?” she asked “I told you didn't I. He's with Massu, so he'll probably fall asleep there. Meaning he wont be back till morning.” Ryo said in a rather bored, drawling tone. Once inside Tegoshi's room manager-san bid Ryo good night and told him to take it easy, especially since he wouldn't be able to participate in the shoot the next day anyways. When she's left Ryo slumped down, his thoughts racing again. He ruffled his hair and looked at the room “the hell this guy” he mumbled as he stared at the messy room. All of Tegoshi's things were strewn out all over as if his luggage had exploded. Ryo got up and gathered some of the clothes; throwing them into a pile and then on top of the younger man's bag so that it looked a little better. He wanted to distract himself but didn't know how or what. He started pacing the room. He tried to sit down a few times, but restlessness forced him up on his feet again. He felt annoyed with himself, he had to sleep. He forced himself to lie down on the futon: quickly he stripped off his clothes and buried himself to his neck with the covers. His mind still buzzing he closed his eyes and fell into a restless sleep.

 

***

 

The next day Ueda was the first to arrive at the breakfast table. He sat down alone and ordered some food: he decided to go with a western styled breakfast and was served egg, beacon, sausage and some other things along with orange juice. He took his hand to the orange juice first, and as he lifted his glass his hand shook. He grabbed his wrist with his other hand, putting the glass back down and sighing. He was still quite shaken by yesterdays events: he shuddered and hugged himself, frowning deeply as he glared at his plate. Just then Tegoshi and Massu came wandering into the room. Tegoshi was being loud as usual and said to Massu who wasn't really listening but probably thinking about what he wanted for breakfast “as I said I was shocked to find Ryo-chan in my room” Ueda froze, and he seemed to focus in on Tegoshi's voice “and the state of him. He looked really beat-up! I didn't want to wake him so I just grabbed my stuff and left” Massu nodded his head absentmindedly. Suddenly KAT-TUN's manager came in, he saw Ueda sitting at the table and came over. “Ueda-kun, how are you this morning?” he asked as if he actually wanted to ask something else. Ueda's reply was simple that he felt fine; though he heard how stiff his voice was as he said it, but the manager didn't seem to notice. “Ah, that's... good.” he said uncertainly, rubbing his hands together. He seemed to be thinking a lot, so Ueda frowned at him as he started to gobble down some of the egg.

 

The manager took a deep breath and asked “have you seen Koki-kun?” Ueda flinched but quickly tried to act normal. “No” he replied and busied himself with his food. “ah, I see. I'll go see if he's in his room” he mumbled and wandered off towards the hall. Ueda lifted the glass with a shaky hand again, taking a sip before putting it down. Just as he did he could hear Tegoshi's drawling voice over from the other table “Ne, Massu what do you think happened to Ryo-chan?” Massu was occupied with his food and didn't look at the younger man as he answered hotly “I have no idea, Tegoshi” stuffing some more rice into his face. Tegoshi sank back into his seat kinda annoyed that Massu wouldn't engage in conversation with him. Massu was totally different when he was in bed with Tegoshi and when he was eating. Tegoshi felt a wave of jealousy towards the food in Massu's hands, he frowned unhappily and kicked his feet in the same way a child who couldn't reach the floor would. He then whined “Massu~ is food more important than me?” he glanced sideways at the older man; who couldn't answer properly since his mouth was stuffed with food. Tegoshi snapped and stood up, he glared at Massu before he snapped his nose in the air “I guess it is!” he said loudly and marched away. Massu clearly oblivious to what the younger man had meant just raised his shoulders and let them fall as he stuffed some fish into his mouth.

 

Tegoshi passed a yawning Shige and Koyama, who looked on in wonder at the younger man's bad mood “geez, don't tell me those two fought again?” Koyama sighed “and so early in the morning” Shige yawned, scratching his side. They looked at each other. Blushed. Then walked over to where Massu was sitting. “what happened with Tegoshi?” Shige asked as he sat down “I have no idea” Massu answered after taking a swing of his tea “you must have done something to upset him!” Koyama insisted “he wasn't happy when we passed him. He didn't even greet us!” Koyama pointed out, he said more to Shige than Massu. Massu frowned “something about food and important” he said looking down again “ah, he asked what was more important to you. Him or food.” Koyama said matter of factually. Both him and Shige stared at Massu who felt their gaze on him “what?” he asked “well, which is it? Food or Tegoshi?” Koyashige asked, Massu looked at them as if they were stupid “Tegoshi, of course. But I can't love him, and I certainly can't make love to him, on an empty stomach!” Massu said pointedly, shoving his chopsticks in Koyashige's faces. “Okay, dude too much info!” they replied “well, anyways you'd better say that to Tegoshi as soon as possible or he'll be pissed the whole day.” Koyama said shoving Massu's chopsticks out of the way “Remember last time...” and he launched into the story of the last time Tegomass had been quarreling.

 

“Good morning!” Taguchi called into the, apart from Ueda, Massu and Koyashige, empty restaurant. Thank god. Everyone, apart from Ueda, greeted him back. “Oh, Uepi. You're up early.” he said cheerfully, sitting down at the table. Ueda looked at the cheerful man “Hm. But I'm more surprised at seeing you here Taguchi.” he said weakly cutting up some beacon and shoving it into his mouth “I had those wake up calls from the hotel staff, ne” he said as he ordered his breakfast “I feel sorry for that person” Ueda said humorously “Uepi~” Taguchi complained just as his tea arrived. Before long, Taguchi had gotten Ueda in a better mood; they chatted about various things, from work related matters to random thing. When Taguchi ordered his second cup of tea, Nakamaru came in: rubbing his eyes as he slowly came over to the other two “oh, Taguchi, how unusual to see you up this early. Normally someone has to beat you awake!” Nakamaru said, trying to be funny. “It's too early for jokes, Nakamaru!” Jin groaned from behind him. He looked positively ruffled. His hair was a right mess and his clothes looked as if he'd just thrown them on for convenience. Kame looked tiered and said nothing as he passed Jin, sitting down between Taguchi and Ueda.

 

Jin just stared at him, he sulked before sitting down on Ueda's other side “Where's Koki? Anyone seen him around?” Nakamaru asked “I haven't seen him since last night” Kame said as he flicked through the menu. “Ah, manager-san was here earlier and asked me about Koki as well. Said he'd go check in his room...” and just as he said it manager-san came bustling in through the door. He was pale as a sheet and seemed stressed. Everyone looked at the man with frowns on their faces. He seemed nervous and fiddled with his hands “Um. Koki-kun will not be joining the photo shoot today, it seems he isn't quite fit for a photo shoot.” Ueda tried to stay calm, pretending to know nothing as he gobbled down the rest of his meal. Just as Ueda was about to drink down the last of his orange juice NEWS's manager appeared and announced that Ryo couldn't join the photo shoot either, she looked at Tegoshi “Tegoshi-kun, did you go by your room this morning?” she asked carefully “yeah, I did. He looked really bad” Ueda's chest felt tight all of a sudden “what on earth happened to him?” Tegoshi continued “um... we don't know. He wouldn't say anything last night. I'll go check on him, the rest of you'd better head for hair and make-up soon” she said, looking at her watch as she left in a hurry.

 

The NEWS members ate their breakfast and soon headed out. Nakamaru called out to Massu who stopped short of the door “Ne, Massu, Nisikido-kun's not well?” he asked “so it seems” Massu says “do you know what's wrong or what happened?” Nakamaru asked, a frown on his face “No. Why do you ask?” Massu said also frowning. “Just thinking. It seems odd that both Nishikido-kun and Koki are ill. And especially that they can't participate in a photo shoot seems odd if they're just sick or hungover” the older man said wondering just as the idea came to everyone else. Indeed it seemed odd that both men were ill at the same time; they'd all eaten the same food and consumed the same type of alcohol. And also being sick like a cold or being hungover was no excuse to not show up for work, especially in this situation where nothing about the shoot posed any threat to their condition. What on earth was wrong with the two men? All the remaining men looked form one to the other, but since no one had anything to say about the matter; Massu excused himself, hurrying to catch up to the other NEWS members. Leaving KAT-TUN to finish their breakfast. No one addressed the subject after that, and in a slightly dejected mood they all headed for hair and make-up.

 

***

Koki was sitting at the table when lunch time arrived, he looked up as the other members of KAT-TUN came in. “Holy crap, what happened to you?!” Jin exclaimed when he saw the man. Koki had been wrapped up in band-aids and had numerous bruises all over. Ueda stood rooted to the spot near the door, watching as the others gathered around Koki; asking him what had happened. He moved as if in pain and groaned with every exaggerated movement. Koki answered their questioning by saying he fell down some stairs, and though everyone knew he was lying, they lit it slip. Once everyone had taken a seat, Koki's eyes found Ueda. They made eye contact for a brief moment; and Ueda could see all of Koki's emotions before the younger man broke it, focusing on Nakamaru instead. Ueda had mixed emotions about the gesture, but decided to ignore it for now. He went and sat down with Taguchi between them, and as lunch progressed Ueda kept silent: listening to the conversation going on between the other men, and feeling like an outsider. He shuddered. The chill ran through his entire body and he sank down in his chair, but no one seemed to notice.

 

Just as Taguchi was making some lame joke about how Koki looked like a Dalmatian with band-aids, no one laughed obviously, Ryo came wandering into the room – the rest of NEWS right behind him. Tegoshi at his heels asking him if he was alright. Ueda froze as Ryo's rough voice sent another shiver down his spine. His mind filled with what the younger man had said to him the night before, Ueda suddenly stood up. He did it so abruptly that the chair feel backward and to the floor. He had both hands firmly on the table as he stared wide eyed as nothing. He felt cold all over and hurried out, pumping shoulder's with Shige who was then pushed into Koyama, who caught him; holding his shoulders as they both looked after Ueda. Everyone had gone silent, while most of them looked from one to the other, frowning deeply. Koki was staring at Ryo, who was staring at the floor. Then suddenly Ryo turned and said “On second thought, I'm not all that hungry” before he started forward, but then Koki stood to his feet: his chair filling the room with a scraping sound as it was pushed across the floor. He stormed for Ryo and pushed him back “The hell you're going anywhere, Nishikido!” Koki yelled and pushed him back again. Ryo came at him, grabbing his collar and saying coldly “What the hell, Tanaka?!” yanking at Koki's collar lightly. Jin was the one who voiced everyone's thought “wait, did you fight last night? Is that where those wounds come from?!” he asked apparently shocked. It was quite obvious though: their behavior and the fact that they were injured, pretty much in the same way clearly meant that they'd been fighting. “None of your business, Jin!” they yelled unanimously. “Ne, Koki relax ne. Ryo-kun too.” Nakamaru said calmly, getting up and taking a step in their direction, arms raised in front of him. Koyama did the same “Ne, Ryo-chan, let go of Tanaka-kun” the two men continued to silently stare each other down.

 

Ryo was the one who let go of Koki with a toss, making the other man stagger backwards a little. Koki cussed and went for Ryo again, but Nakamaru caught him and held him back. “Let go of me Yuuchi!” He yelled and struggled against the older man's arms. “No, Koki. You shouldn't fight!” Nakamaru said loudly in a warning voice. Ryo glared at Koki once more before he turned on his heel and left the room. Once Ryo was gone Nakamaru let go of the younger man; who flung Nakamaru's arms off as soon as he noticed that he loosened his grip. Koki cussed loudly, kicking the ground. “what the hell is going on?!” Yamapi asked loudly, throwing his arms out and addressing everyone. All eyes fell on Koki, who snorted and stomped away from the scene. “I have no idea what's going on, but I don't like it” Yamapi said looking worried. “I'll go check on him” Tegoshi said suddenly and stormed out of the room before anyone could stop him “Hey, Tegoshi!” Massu called after the younger man. He looked very put out by his gesture and suddenly Koyama was by his side, threw and arm around him and shook him slightly saying encouragingly “it's probably nothing. Don't worry about it!” before he let go to join the ones who's already gotten seated. And although everyone was trying to be cheerful, the only one actually managing that being Taguchi, one could tell that everyone was wondering what was going on.

 

***

Ueda took long steps towards his room, he felt like breaking down. He was confused. He didn't know what to think anymore. He didn't want to think anymore. He slid the door open with a bang and shut it right behind himself, sinking to his knees. His heart was racing but it wasn't from running to the room. The words kept repeating themselves in his head. The younger man's confession rang in his ears and he buried his face in his hands. This feeling was so overpowering he didn't know what to do with himself. He went a little further into the room, sitting down on his futonn and his knees pulled up to his chest, burying his face in his knees. He sobbed once, feeling all the confusion buzz around in his head, waves of emotion as unruly as the stormy seas. The door clattered open and he looked up, taking a sharp intake of breath...

 

***

 

Ryo walked down the corridor “where the hell is it?” he grumbled to himself, looking in each direction at a corner then heading to his right. He felt annoyed. No. Angry. He'd wanted to punch Koki so hard his fists were still shaking. “Ryo-chan! Ryo-chan!” he stopped “what?” Ryo hissed at Tegoshi who came jogging up to him, stopping right behind him “what on earth is going on? Are you fighting with Koki-kun?” as far as Tegoshi knew Koki was a kind and gentle man, always spirited and very much a mood maker. So he couldn't see what could have caused Ryo to hate the other man so. “tsk. Just stay out of it, Tegoshi. Run back to Massu, he's probably worried” he said simply taking a few steps forward. Tegoshi blushed “wait, do you know? About me and Ma-” Ryo cut in, he didn't want to waste time “yeah, I accidentally saw you two last night. Don't worry I won't tell anyone” he glanced back to see the younger man flush scarlet “but I must admit” he continued “I was rather surprised” he glanced at the ground before looking up at Tegoshi again “so, do you have a good relationship?” he asked carefully. Tegoshi, who'd been staring at the floor, suddenly looked up. Ryo was taken slightly aback by the sudden response, but not as taken aback as when he saw tears in Tegoshi's eyes. Tegoshi sniffed loudly taking his hand to his face to wipe a few tears away. “wha-?” Ryo exclaimed but Tegoshi answered before he could ask any questions “I don't hink Massu like's me” he sobbed. Ryo didn't know what to do. Then Tegoshi started bawling and Ryo panicked, how embarrassing he thought “come on, let's get away from the public eye” Ryo said grabbing the younger man's arm and dragging him of in the direction of his room.

 

***

 

Ueda inhaled sharply, looking into the other man's dark eyes. Koki slid the door shut behind him and approached the older man. “Koki, what are you doi-?” but Koki shot in “unhappy to see me? Were you maybe expecting someone else? A bastard midget perhaos?!” he hissed threateningly, his eyes turning to slits as he glared at Ueda. The older man shuddered, looking away from the younger man “No. I wasn't waiting for anyone. I just wanted to be alone for a while.” Ueda said looking towards the closed window. Koki came closer and sat down in front of Ueda, who gave him a careful sideways glance before he sighed and turned his face to the side. “You'd better not be thinking of him!” Koki warned. Ueda frowned “who are you to tell me what I can or cannot think about?!” he said annoyed, frowning at Koki. Koki sighed then grabbed Ueda's shoulder's “what does he know? He doesn't know you! Heck, he's even bullied you!” Koki said in a dejected manor. “He can't possibly love you!” he said.

Ueda's head snapped out and he glared at the younger man: who was forced to loosen his grip on Ueda's shoulder's before he squeezed them as he continued “but I know you!” he pleaded, shaking him gently “I- I want to support you. I am the you can rely on” Koki said in a desperate way, trying to get Ueda to establish eye contact with him. Ueda lifted his gaze, his body was strange again. It was bubbly and hot, his mind growing dazed as Koki gripped his shoulder's tighter. Ueda stared into Koki's eyes, he could see it, that faint shimmer that told Ueda that it was as he suspected. Indeed Koki was the one who could read him well.

 

Koki blinked. The atmosphere changed suddenly, and he recognized it the moment the older man turned to face him and grab his arm. Koki gulped, he knew what was coming. Ueda looked desperate all of a sudden and he leaned forward, his hands shaking slightly “Koki~” he whispered and the younger man felt his manhood throb. He felt desperate himself now. He wanted to prove himself to the older man, so he threw himself at him. First he untied Ueda's yukata, using his hand to slide it off by sliding his hand inside the fabric. Ueda groaned, leaning back and slowly the sank to the floor so that Ueda was lying on the futonn; Koki hovering over him. The yukata was fully open now, and Koki sat up to take in the view of the older man's body. He watched as the abs flexed and his chest rose with every breath he took. The sight was breathtaking. He brought his fingers to the pale skin, letting his fingers spread out until his palm caressed the soft skin.

Koki untied his own yukata and tossed it aside, leaning in over the older man again. Ueda seemed distant and his eyes were staring off into space. Koki let his hand trace defined abs up to the older man's chest area; where he slid his middle and index finger over the left nipple. He continued doing so until the nipple was a small hard bud under his fingertips. He smirked just as Ueda finally looked at him, though Koki couldn't see his expression change the nervous spasm that went through his body said enough: but he wasn't about to stop now, so he quickly removed Ueda's underwear to. Throwing it halfway across the room as he used his other hand to palm the others half-erect member. Ueda groaned loudly and tossed a little. Koki smiled as the older man moaned.

 

Koki leaned down, and took the member in his mouth. He arched his back as the hot and wet cavern surrounded his member. He arched his back so that more of his member was pushed into the younger man's mouth. Koki almost chocked, but relaxed his throat allowing the member to slide deeper in. Ueda groaned loudly feeling the heat rise within him and the high approaching. But as Koki's hand traveled down his body to cup his ass, Ueda suddenly felt conscious of it. And as Koki slid his finger over the puckered hole Ueda went cold. He didn't want this. This was wrong! He shuddered and whined unhappily, and when Koki looked up at him Ueda saw what he feared: The glazed eyes that looked back at him. His heart must have skipped a beat as he pushed the younger man off him. His head was screaming for Ryo as panic filled him, and he hugged himself shuddering and whimpering. As his sobs grew louder Koki became very worried “Ueda, are you alright?!” he asked shaking the older man. But Ueda lashed out, pushing the younger man away. After taking a few desperate gasps of air he threw out his arm and yelled “out! Get out!” Koki fell backwards as he looked at the older man in shock. Ueda's face was tear stained and he was breathing hard and unevenly. Koki found his yukata and pulled it on before he left the room without a word.

 

Ueda watched the whole time to make sure he'd really left before he collapsed forward. His hands gripping at the covers of the futonn, he sobbed like he hadn't sobbed in years. He whimpered in fear and cowered to the floor; bringing his hands to his head. His entire body was screaming for Ryo's touch. For Ryo's warm embrace, but he wouldn't call him. He was afraid. Afraid of these feelings that he didn't understand. He shuddered as Ryo's words filled his mind again. How could it be? He couldn't possibly love him. But somewhere deep inside himself he felt that little ball of warmth glow faintly as it wanted to spread, and engulf his entire being. He sobbed and gripped at the futonn covers again. His body felt cold, and the tips of his fingers and toes were freezing and prickling uncomfortably. He bundled up into a fetus position and sobbed harder. He wanted Ryo to come, he wanted Ryo so much. But wasn't that feeling wrong? Was it? Hadn't Ryo said that he wanted him? Hadn't the younger man said that he loved him? Ueda couldn't come to terms with this.

He'd never been loved like that before, and he was so confused. All the others he'd slept with had clearly put up that boundary that they weren't in it for anything but the physical part; so Ueda had come to terms with this notion. Their glazed, lust filled eyes as they ravaged him. But thinking about it Ryo's glaze had faded, little by little. He felt jittery all of a sudden: his body seemed to be filled with a weird sensation. Could really Ryo love him? And what was this feeling? Could he possibly also be in love with Ryo in return? He searched his heart. At the idea his body became all bubbly and filled with a giddiness he hadn't felt in years. He felt oddly happy. Ridiculously happy in fact. He was: He loved Nishikido Ryo. He sat bolt upright, he could hardly sit still anymore and he wandered about the room. Now he wanted to see Ryo. No, he had to see Ryo! Quickly he pulled his yukata back on and marched out of the room. But where could the other man be? He went for the restaurant for starters, deciding that asking his group members was a good place to begin.

***

 

Tegoshi was sobbing loudly, and his normally handsome face was tainted by tears and snot. Ryo didn't know what to do. To be quite honest he didn't know why he was even there with the man. “Ryo-chan~” Tegoshi sniffed “I don't think Massu likes me anymore” he sobbed and was about to use the sleeve of his yukata to wipe away his tears, but Ryo grabbed his arm and handed him some tissues. “Thanks” he said in a depressed voice as he used a tissue. “I asked him” Tegoshi continued “is food more important than me? But he didn't answer! Actually he had food in his mouth and didn't even attempt to answer my question” Tegoshi started to bawl, burying his face in his hands.

Ryo glanced about the room, he'd never seen Tegoshi so depressed; usually Tegoshi wasn't the kind to get like this. At all. So it was in a way disturbing that he was being like this, but then again being uncertain about weather the one you loved, loved you back was a feeling he himself had quite recently gotten a taste off himself. He sighed and placed his hand heavily on Tegoshi's back “Maybe you should try and ask him again, and tell him your feelings sincerely. Maybe” he paused, choosing his words “Maybe, he thinks it so obvious that he neglects telling you how he feels about you. And doesn't understand why you're asking him when the answer should be obvious?” he suggested carefully.

Tegoshi had stopped sobbing to listen carefully to the older man's words. He looked up, he looked like a wreck; the make up he'd been wearing had been smudged and his eyes were red and still a little watery. “You think so? You really think so, Ryo-chan?” he sounded pretty desperate as he pleaded for confirmation, eyes big and searching Ryo's face. Ryo took a deep breath and stared into Tegoshi's eyes “Yeah, he's a little stupid. Kinda like you” he paused, he couldn't fake smiles so when Ryo smiled at Tegoshi, the younger man's eyes widened “but the only way to know for sure is to ask him yourself. Properly this time.” he lifted a hand to Tegoshi's curly hair and ruffled it lightly.

Tegoshi was lost for words. Ryo had never been a cruel man, but he'd never been this tender. Lost for words the only thing Tegoshi could do was say “Un!” with a determined nod and before using the rest of the tissues to wipe away the rest of his tears. Ryo laughed at him as his make-up became more smudged, so he took a tissue and started wiping the younger man's face. Telling him how stupid he looked the whole time.

 

Once most of Tegoshi's make-up had been removed, they got up to leave. But just as they came out into the hallway, Koki came marching around the corner; his eyes were on the floor, but when he heard the door close he looked up. He saw Ryo and then Tegoshi who stood suspiciously close to him. Koki roared, charging at Ryo. Before he could do anything Koki had him by his collar pushed up against the door “you bastard, you fucking teas!” he yelled and slammed Ryo against the door again. Ryo groaned as pain spread from the back of his scull. “You confess to Ueda and the next day you go at it with this tramp?!” Tegoshi, who'd been shocked by the man's sudden actions was brought back to reality “Koki-kun, what the hell are you doing? Let go of Ryo-chan!” he said and grabbed Koki's arm, but the man was blinded by fury and adrenalin was making him strong so he simply shook Tegoshi off.

Tegoshi stumbled and fell to the floor. “You've got it all wrong, Tanaka!” Ryo said in a half-chocked voice “we just talked” he wheezed, trying to pry the man's fingers off him, but Koki wouldn't budge. “It's all your fault! Your fault that Ueda's become like this. He's never rejected me before. It has to be your fault!” before Ryo could start to contemplate what Koki was saying Koki let him go and punched him. Ryo staggered and fell over, clutching the side of his face. “You bastard. All your fault. All your fault!!” Koki yelled and started to kick Ryo who was still lying down. Koki's words became unintelligible and his voice broke as he continued to attack Ryo. “Koki!” the sudden desperate yells filled Ryo's ears as if from faraway, he couldn't feel anything but the blinding pain anymore and as he looked up, his sight hazy, he saw Jin and Yamapi struggling to keep Koki away. He heard others running, people shouting, but it all seemed so faraway. He groaned in pain and curled himself up like a ball on the floor: he felt hands touching him, and he groaned again when someone tried to get him to sit up. A loud ringing filled his ears and all went black.


	6. Complications and a Comrade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's getting complicated...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the bad summary, but I really don't know what to say about this chapter>.

Ryo groaned, he felt quite light headed and kind of oozy, he tried to open his eyes but they were heavy as led. “Ryo-kun?” The voice was distant, but he couldn't move or speak. He groaned in the back of his throat to show that he could, at least hear. “Ryo-kun, thank goodness!” Manager-san said with a sigh of relief. Ryo searched for some strength, he inhaled sharply through his nose and the distinct smell of antiseptic and closed rooms. He found some strength somewhere and forced his eyes open: the light blinded him, and he blinked several times before he was able to see properly. He glanced to the side, seeing manager-san leaning in close and looking worried. Ryo's body was heavy still, he tried to sit up but couldn't; he could only make feeble attempts at getting up on his elbows, but manager-san placed a hand on his shoulder “you shouldn't move yet” She said in a calm voice. She looked towards the door “Ryo-kun, do you remember what happened?” She asked carefully. Ryo stared at her, he couldn't find his voice and his throat was dry as a desert, so the only thing he could do was shake his head. He had no idea why he was there. He frowned and winced since moving his head hurt. “Um, I'll go get someone. Try not to move so much.” She said and left him. Ryo tried desperately to find his voice, he gathered air in his lounges and tried to utter a sound, but only a meek hiss of air would come out as if form an old man.

He was feeling more frustrated by the minute. He gave up just as a doctor came in the door, closely followed by his manager. “Ah, Nishikido-san, good to see you awake” He said happily. He had some nurser help him into a sitting position before he did some minor tests on him before saying that there was nothing wrong with him as far as he could see, but they would obviously have to do some more tests. “And give him some water would you” He said to the manager who nodded vigorously, bowing as he left. She hurried to the table next to his bed, she poured some water into a glass. She then quickly held it to Ryo's mouth, only when the water was being held in front of him did he realize he was thirsty. He parted his lips and chugged down the water, which ran over the edges of his mouth to trace down his neck. The cold sensation running across his skin made him shudder.

He breathed heavily as the desert in his throat was washed away, he tried to speak now, but he still couldn't produce a word, only half-chocked sounds escaped him. Manager-san frowned, putting the glass back down on the bed side table. Ryo leaned back into the pillow with a sigh of defeat. “Just relax, OK. I'll be right back” She said, but she was still frowning as she left. After a short while a nurse came in. She handed him another glass of water, he felt up to it and took the glass slowly raising it to his mouth chugging the water down. He held out the glass and got a refill from the nurse “Nishikido-san, how do you feel?” She leaned forward studying him closely. He looked at her, she was cute he thought as he looked down and took a deep breath. “Yeah. I'm fine.” His said his voice hoarser than usual. She smiled at him, his heart skipped a beat. “That's good. I'll be back later to check on you. I'll ask someone to refill your water”She said and left. He clutched his hand to his throat, trying to think back, before he could think of anything manager-san came back in. She looked at him, she seemed much more relaxed now “the nurse told me you talked” Ryo smiled at her “yeah, I feel really beat up. What happened to me?” He asked her frown returned “Ryo-kun, you really don't remember what happened?” She asked sitting down in the chair next to his bed. Now he frowned “No, I don't remember anything that could have landed me in here”He confessed “um, well” She looked around and particularly at the door before she got up and closed it.

She returned to the chair and folded her hands in her lap before she continued “um... you and Tanaka-kun had another fight and it seems it was too much for you so you passed out. Everyone is very worried for you.” Ryo stopped her “wait. Tanaka-kun? KAT-TUN's Tanaka Koki?” She looked at him confused before she continued “yes, the two of you had a fight yesterday too. But Tanaka-kun started again today. It was Akanishi-kun and Yamapi-kun who pulled Tanaka-kun away from you, lucky that Tegoshi-kun had Masuda-kun on speed-dial on his cellphone and that everyone was together. Everyone came running!” Ryo forwned at her “I'm sorry. I can't remember any of this.” She stared at him “nothing? Can you remember that your at the hotel for a shoot?”

His look was blank “no. I don't remember anything about a hotel or a shooting.” manager-san's frown was growing deeper still “um... Ryo-kun, what date is it?” Ryo answered without hesitation “ June third.” though the look on his manager's face was alarming. “Um... Ryo-kun I'm gonna go buy some coffee. Be right back” In a hurry she got to her feet and hurried out the door.

Once outside she caught the first nurse she could and asked for the doctor. The nurse asked her to calm down but called a doctor. The same one came “what's wrong, Miss?” He asked “It's Ryo-kun” She said in a slightly desperate tone “Ah, Nishikido-san?” He said calmly “un, he doesn't seem to remember anything. When I asked if he remembered what happened he said no. And to top it all off he thinks it's June!” She said waving her arms about. “Hm. That is odd. I'll check him again, from the sounds of it, it seems most likely that he has amnesia. Now, if it is amnesia he may regain his memories at any point in time; in a few hours, a few days or it can take years.” he said calmly still. “Is there a possibility that it will never return?” She asked, here eyes wide, her body leaning forward awaiting the doctors reply.

“There is a possibility, but then again from what was explained to me, Nishikido-san's trauma wasn't that severe. But then again also considering the fact that he was also in a fight yesterday. Has he seemed stressed lately?” The doctor twirled his stethoscope between his fingers, Manager-san shook her head “no, not as far as I know. Ryo-kun is normally very good at tackling stress, this has never happened before...” She said looking more concerned. “Hm. I don't think there is any real need to worry, since he has not forgotten who he is. His memories will probably return soon. But I'll go check up on him again. And while I do that maybe you should find something to tell the press.” He added nonchalantly and walked away leaving her to realize that she'd totally forgotten about the press. She wrenched her phone out of her purse and ran for a place where she could call the agency.

 

The doctor entered Ryo's room. He stood in the doorway for a split second before coming in slowly “your manager tells me you don't remember anything about what happened” He said blankly “and that you think it's June” he added, Ryo frowned “it isn't?” The doctor looked at him “no, it is the 20th of August.” He said still calm. Ryo frowned deeply “what?” He asked going slightly cold, even though the room was very hot “yes, you may have amnesia. Now not to worry, you've only forgotten two months and most likely those memories will return to you in time.” He continued “Now I'll do some more checks and well have you sent for a few tests, then you can lie back and relax.” He said and approached him some more, leaning down over him and asking him questions and many other things before he seemed satisfied.

“hm, apart from the amnesia you seem to be just fine. But I'll have you for those tests anyway.” He checked his watch and then left saying he'd send a nurse. Ryo fell back against the pillows, his head was hurting and so was the rest of his body. He cussed as the rest of his body started aching, he groaned and clenched his teeth together. He really must have been in a fight, though he couldn't remember it and that scared him. He closed his eyes, trying to search for something related to the pain he was feeling. But nothing came to him. No image appeared in his mind of someone swinging a fist at him, or aiming a kick. Nothing. He shuddered. Fear. Pain. Frustration welled in his heart.

He clenched his fist, gripping the bed covers. “Nishikido-san?” He stirred, eyes flying up and he jumped a little when he saw the nurse standing over him. “Nishikido-san are you alright?” She asked, clutching a clipboard to her chest. “I'm fine. Just... suddenly... pain.” He said showing obvious discomfort “Ah... yes, we gave you some painkillers. They must have worn off. I'll get you some more, but first we have to do some tests” She said looking down and scribbling something on the clipboard. “Alright then. Can you try and sit up for me?” She asked moving over to the door and getting a wheelchair in. She got it over to the bed “Now can you get into this on your own?” She asked.

He looked at it, clearing his throat he used his arms and hoisted himself clumsily out of the bed and into the wheelchair. He groaned as pain exploded all over and he doubled over, his forehead buried in his knees. “Nishikido-san, are you sure you're alright?” She placed her hand on his shoulder “un, I'm fine. Just hurt more than I thought it would.” He hissed again, clutching at his stomach. He sighed and sat up properly, leaning back into the backrest. The nurse smiled at him and went behind the wheelchair and started to push it forward.

 

***

When Ryo came back to the room, he looked up to see Yamapi and Koyashige sitting around his bed. “Oh, Ryo-chan!” Koyama exclaimed, getting to his feet and greeting him. The nurse pushed Ryo all the way to the side of his bed before she excused herself, smiling at all the handsome men in the room. Once she'd closed the door they heard a buzz and a lot of giggling outside. Yamapi chuckled and shifted his focus to Ryo. “So, Ryo, you OK?” He asked looking the man up and down: Apart from a few bruises he looked fine. “Yeah, I guess.” Ryo replied, looking at the floor as he got himself back into the bed with a series of groans. Ryo glanced at the other men, he suddenly felt odd, cold again. He shuddered thinking of the fact that they remembered what had happened and he didn't.

He sighed pulling the cold bed covers over himself. Shige stood up and uncertainly rubbed his palms against his sides and without really looking at anyone asked “shall I go get something to drink?” He glanced at the other three. Yamapi was the one who answered “Yeah, get me some tea. Ryo?” - “Uh, I'll stick to my water for now, my head still hurts.” He said lifting his hand to his head. Koyama stood up to “I'll go with you, I want something to eat.” He and Shige left the room. Yamapi got to his feet and walked over to the chair right next to the bed, where Manager-san had been sitting earlier. “Ryo, are you really alright?” He said frowning. Ryo looked at him “They say I have amnesia and that I can't remember anything from June til now” He looked at Yamapi, his eyes searching the younger man's face.

Yamapi frowned “Nothing?” He questioned “Nothing.” Ryo confirmed. “Huh. That must feel frustrating” He said looking down “I feel frightened when I can't remember where I put my things and can't find it. Especially my wallet and cellphone.” He looked up at Ryo. Suddenly Ryo wanted to cry, he felt the hot tears well in his eyes, but he looked down and quickly wiped them away before they could trail down his cheeks. Yamapi just puffed his cheeks and looked away. Ryo sniffed once, wiping his face with the sleeve of his hospital pajamas.

Ryo cleared his throat “So, um... what's the story?” Yamapi snapped to attention “Huh? Story?” He repeated, Ryo rolled his eyes a little “the story for the press.” He said smiling at the younger man's slight stupidity “oh! Yeah, the story is that you took a too long bath, felt dizzy and fell down some stone stairs.” Yamapi said with a chuckle and Ryo joined him “as I'd ever be that stupid. Too long bath... honestly.” they laughed “Oh, what's funny?” Koyama asked coming into the room a small bag of chips in his hand and a soda can in the other “Ryo's cover story” Yamapi said lightly, the serious mood that had been in the room only few moments ago had evaporated.

“Catch!” Shige said, tossing the can to Yamapi who caught it with both hands. They all laughed at the cover story, though Ryo had to clutch at his stomach as a sharp pain shot up his abdomen. He tried to hide his pain, but the other guys noticed and the laughter died slowly. The nurse came in again, she looked around at the four men, and blushed as she said with her eyes on the clip board “Um, visiting hours are almost over” she glanced up and blushed as she saw the four men looking at her. “Oh, fine. Let's go guys.” Shige said and stood up. Koyama and Yamapi also got to their feet, said goodbye to Ryo and left, passing through a hoard of female nurser and patients who'd gathered in the hallway outside Ryo's room. They chuckled as they passed through the crowd. They waved at a few kids as they left, and they chatted happily about it in the elevator.

The nurse cleared her throat nervously, clutching at her clipboard. “Nishikido-san, your x-rays came back, and the doctor should be on his way to tell you the results.” She said without looking at him. “Um, thank you.” He said, not sure what to say otherwise. She bustled about the room, her nervous fidgeting was apparent and she never looked at him or tried to strike up a conversation. When the doctor arrived, she bowed and excused herself, leaving the room with hurried steps. The doctor frowned at the nurse who left, shook his head and focused his attention on Ryo.

“Nishikido-san, some results have come back, and from your x-rays you appear to have some cracked ribs. Which I kind of expected based on the explanation from the witness.” He looked at some papers he'd brought with him, Ryo looked confused “witness?” The doctor looked up at the question “ah, yes. Your manager told us that you were with Tegoshi-san when you were attacked. And good was that or you might have been even more hurt.” He scribbled something down on the papers, as he elegantly put the pen back in his chest pocket Ryo stared at his feet “I was with Tegoshi?” The doctor looked at him “so it seems, at least that's what your manager told me when you came in here.” He said, flipping some pages in the papers he had.

“Apart from the ribs, bruising and your slight concussion” He flipped a page “and of course your amnesia, there appears to be nothing seriously wrong with you. Though obviously you're in pain, you were involved in a fight after all. Not only one, but two in fact, so the other pain you're experiencing is to be expected.” He nodded to himself, flipping back and forth in the papers

“Oh, I see. But doctor, about my amnesia” The word came out kind of strained and he shifted nervously, clutching at the front of his pajamas “when will they return?” He glanced up, a pleading look on his face “hm, that's hard to say” he faced the man earnestly “they may return at any point in time. Tomorrow, next week, in a few months, a year. The most extreme case is that it will never return, in that case you are at least lucky to only have lost two months of your memory and not your entire life and identity.” The man laughed “obviously I can understand your frustration, but sadly, there is no cure or treatment we can offer you for amnesia.” He did look apologetic as he said it, folding his hands with the papers behind his back like an elderly man.

Ryo blinked, he felt oddly cold again. “I see” Was all he could say, he gazed out the window at the beautiful late summers day and sighed “when can I leave?” He asked not looking at the doctor. The man studied Ryo for a minute before answering “first of all we'll have to wrap your ribs, then we have to wait for the rest of the test results to come back, inform your manager about your condition, and after we're certain that everything is fine, you can leave. I would also advice you not to work for a few weeks. Please be gentle with yourself” The doctor chuckled. Ryo wasn't laughing. He didn't find any of it funny at all. The doctor seemed to notice Ryo's less than enthusiastic response and cleared his throat and added “all in all a few days, though it is uncertain at this point since we are still waiting for some test results.” He hesitated a little before he said briskly “I'll have a nurse come and wrap your ribs.” before walking out of the room, leaving Ryo to dwell over the things.

 

So he'd been with Tegoshi when Koki had attacked him. But why the hell had Koki attacked him in the first place. He tried to search his head for an answer, but that only resulted in another headache. He sighed, rubbing his temples, then stroking his hands hard over his face in frustration. Just as he let his hands fall to his lap a nurse came in: she blushed and giggled as she asked him to remove the top of his pajamas. He did it absentmindedly, hissing when she touched a sensitive spot and pain spread form the spot. She apologized and proceeded with caution, carefully wrapping his chest up with a long bandage. She then added some more painkillers to his IV before she excused herself saying that a nurse would come in to check on him every few hours because of his concussion. He nodded and lay down just as she left the room. He groaned as the pain spread through his body since the painkillers hadn't taken affect yet. He closed his eyes, falling into a restless sleep from which he'd be stirred every few hours by some nurse.

 

***

 

“Ueda. Ueda!” Someone was hammering at the door. Ueda stirred, groaning loudly. He hadn't slept much. Last night he'd tried to find Ryo, but couldn't locate him, or anyone else for that matter, anywhere. Disappointed he'd gone back to his room to brood, and at some point he must have fallen asleep. The person outside seemed to have grown impatient and slid the door open. Nakamaru stood there looking at him “What on earth?” He said briskly, pointing a finger lazily at the other man “why are you still sleeping?” He asked. Ueda didn't feel like answering and ignored the question, sitting up and ruffling his hair “what time is it?” He said stretching his arms into the air “It's a little over ten.” Nakamaru answered in a flat tone “this isn't like you!” he exclaimed, waving his arms.

“Ueda!” Jin appeared behind Nakamaru, Yamapi behind him. “Oh, you're already awake!” he noted seeming a little disappointed. Ueda raised an eyebrow at him “what? Were you planning something?” Ueda asked “Um, no.” Jin flatly denied, though it was obvious the man was lying. They didn't say he was the devil for no reason. “Ma, since you're already awake there is no point anymore.” He said turning about “Let's go.” He said to Yamapi, gesturing him to move along. The two men left, leaving Ueda and Nakamaru alone. Ueda got out of the futonn and started to locate his stuff so that he could put it in the bag. “Let's go for brunch!” Nakamaru chirped enthusiastically. Ueda looked at him for a split second, sighed before he put his jeans and shirt back down, straightened his yukata, sighing heavily as he moved towards the door. Obviously pleased, Nakamaru lead the way and slowly they made their way to the restaurant.

 

When they arrived everyone was silent, no one looked up to greet them. Kame was sitting with today's newspaper, pretty much ignoring his surroundings. Taguchi was silent, honestly the man was kind of creepy since he was so different from his usual, cheerful self. And while the rest of NEWS were sitting close together, particularly Tegoshi and Massu; who seemed to be practically on top of each other. Ueda couldn't see Ryo anywhere, and in the silence, asking didn't seem like it was possible. He sullenly joined the KAT-TUN table. Jin and Yamapi were sitting at a smaller table placed in between the two groups. Only when he looked past Jin did Ueda spot Koki.

He was sitting with his back to everyone; hunched over his table so the only thing you could see of his head was the top of his black haired head peaking over the man's broad shoulders. He frowned, but as he opened his mouth to say something, eyes returning from Koki to the table with the other members, he met Taguchi's weary eyes that told him that now was not the time for questions. Ueda frowned. He had rejected Koki yesterday; when the younger man had attempted to taking him by force, Ueda felt that he had given Koki fair warning not to mess with him again. He sighed. Even the waiter seemed to feel the heavy atmosphere in the room as she took Ueda's order. Suddenly NEWS's male manager came into the room. “Ah, good everyone's gathered. We'll leave later today, so please take some more time to relax.” He said nervously clasping his hands together.

Tegoshi looked at him “Have you heard any more news about Ryo-chan?” Ueda's heart seemed to skip a beat, he held his breath and became completely still as his ears sharpened to listen in on the conversation. “Ah, yes. A little. It seems he's cracked his ribs and got a slight concussion. Other than that he appears to be fine.” It was clear that Manager-san was hiding something, his voice was strained and he kept fidgeting. The atmosphere in the room had grown heavier and was weighing everyone down. Yamapi's eyes darkened. He hadn't told anyone that Ryo had amnesia yet. For some reason he felt that he didn't have the right to tell anyone. He felt eyes on him and looked up to stare into Jin's eyes.

Jin frowned at his friend who seemed kinda down, but he noticed Yamapi's reluctance and let it slide. Shige was the one who spoke next “but seriously, to make such a fuzz over it all. Sending Ryo to the hospital and all” His voice was unsteady as he said it as if unsure if it was alright to joke about it. Ueda had gone cold at his words. Ryo? Hospital? A sudden disturbance created by the sound of a chair violently being pushed back and the slamming of hands on a table surface made everyone look in Koki's direction. The man had gotten to his feet in a flash, he hadn't said anything, but before anyone could say something he stormed out of the room. Ueda looked after him, his brow furrowed “did Ryo being submitted to the hospital have something to do with Koki?” His eyes widened as a thought hit him “they didn't have another fight did they?” He looked down, his eyes darting wildly as he tried to think of last night. Certainly, Ryo being in the hospital would explain why he could find the man yesterday.

Ueda looked up, no one seemed to be willing to talk about it. The urge to go see Ryo overtook him, bit just as the idea manifested in his mind it was punctured immediately. He, had no relation to Ryo in anyway that offered an excuse to see him. Ueda clenched his fist as the thought overwhelmed him. He wanted to cry. By the sound of it, Ryo's injuries weren't the kind that would allow him to leave the hospital any time soon. Ueda was after all a boxer, he had some knowledge of such injuries and the healing time. He stared blankly ahead, not knowing what to do. A feeling of hopelessness came over him and he shuddered. Nakamaru who was sitting next to him, placed a hand on Ueda's shoulder “Ueda, are you alright?” All the members of KAT-TUN looked at him.

“You look kinda pale, Uepi” Taguchi said meekly. Kame put his paper down and looked at him “Hm, Taguchi's right. Are you alright?” The sudden concern made Ueda uncomfortable as he looked at the three of them “yeah, I'm fine. Just went to bed a little late last night. I'm not so used to it.” His voice trailed off and he looked down at his half-finished plate. Suddenly he wasn't hungry anymore, so he shoved the plate a little away. He grabbed the glass of water, holding it tightly in his hands – they were shaking slightly. Though the other members didn't really trust in Ueda's words that contradicted his gestures, they eyed him suspiciously with concern.

Ueda took a deep breath, bringing the glass to his lips he took a few gulps of water, feeling as some of the contents squirted onto his face. Even the cold water felt warm on his skin. He shuddered again, putting the glass down with a low thud. He could feel the others paying attention to him as he stood up. “Where are you going?” Nakamaru snapped, making Ueda flinch. “I'm already full.” He said, it was true, but he knew the others wouldn't buy it. Kame folded the paper and stared intently at him. “Are you really OK?” He asked putting force into his question as if demanding a different answer. Ueda backed away from the table “yeah. I'm fine. Honest.” He pushed the chair in as he took another few steps away from the table. Before anyone could ask any further questions Ueda stubbornly exclaimed “I'm fine! I just want to relax some more. I'll have my cellphone with me.” He then stormed away, feeling everyone's eyes on him.

 

“This is just getting weirder and weirder!” Nakamaru said crossing his arms over his chest, a frown on his face. “First Koki and Nishikido fight once, then again, for no apparent reason. And now Ueda is acting odd. Look at his plate, he left half of it.” He indicated the plate that had been left on the table, only half-eaten. Suddenly Jin appeared behind him, he stared at the plate frowning as well. “That really is weird!” He said. “Everything is weird” Kame said coldly, glaring at Jin who cringed back a little. “I'll go see if I can make some sense of this.” He added and stood up. He brushed Jin as he passed, but didn't give the man another glance. Jin stared after Kame who disappeared around the corner.

 

***

 

It was late in the afternoon the next time Ryo saw Manager-san. She came storming in the door looking distinctly ruffled. His eyes widened as he took her in: she was leaning forward, her hands on her knees hair falling into her face. “Um... are you alright?” He asked her staring her up and down. She held one hand to ask for a moment before she abruptly stood up and fixed her hair, slightly shaken. “I'm fine” She said “there's a lot of press out there. And it seems that some fans have found out you are here. They're standing outside with billboards telling you to get well soon, and gifts and such.” She fixed her hair again, walking over to the chair next to his bed with brisk steps.

He didn't say anything, it was to be expected anyway. “Yamapi, Koyama and Kato were here yesterday?” She put her purse in her lap and opened it, looking around for something in it “Yeah, they were only here for a short while though. Did the press really buy that cover story?” He asked never taking his eyes away from the woman “So it appears” She said fishing out her cellphone. Ryo raised an eyebrow at her “you know you can't use that in here.” He said informatively “Yes, I know. I just had to check if the Jimusho had called” She popped open her cellphone, glanced at the screen, then with a sigh she closed it again “Nothing” She said more to herself than to Ryo.

“I was with the doctor just now” She informed him, placing her cellphone back in her bag and putting it on the floor next to her feet. “He said you had some cracked ribs and also a concussion.” She seemed very relaxed about it, elegantly placing her hands in her lap “You seem oddly calm about that” He said flatly. She gazed at him “well, broken bones will heal and a concussion... do you know how many people get concussions. The agency is pretty used to it. Though, it's more common amongst juniors, they are a little careless sometimes” She said the last part with a slight snigger. “That's reassuring” Ryo though darkly, looking ahead at the white wall. “The walls in here are so white...” He said staring ahead “Hm... I though you were the type who liked simplicity.” Manager-san said, bending forward and extracting the schedule book from her purse. “Like it or not, this place is too white.” He said glancing around until his eyes fell on the book in the woman's lap. “What are you doing?” He asked. “Checking your schedule. Even with your injuries there are some types of work you can do. Though obviously, as recommended by the doctor you don't have to work for a while to recover from your injuries.” She looked the pages up and down, pen in hand. “But, what if I go to an interview and they ask me about what I did this summer. What do I answer?!” He asked in a desperate tone. Manager-san gazed up at him, her eyes humble “I guess we'll just have to avoid those questions as much as possible. Obviously looking over the job schedule for the past two months should help.” She turned the page “Or we'll just have to deal with it when it comes.” She raised her fist jubilantly in the air, oozing with optimism. But Ryo couldn't help but feel less than optimistic about his current situation.

He sighed heavily, his head hanging down. “Um...” He voiced “Un” Manager-san replied, turning yet another page “Have you called the Jimusho yet?” He asked her, she went rigid before jumping to her feet with her purse coming up from the floor at a dangerous speed. “I'll be right back!” She said frantically as she stooped for the door, and before he knew it, he was alone again. He sighed and sank back into his pillows. He really wanted to leave the hospital. And he desperately wanted to go home and see if anything there could stir his missing memories.

 

***

 

Kame found Ueda sitting on a bench out in the garden. Kame said nothing as he sat down next to the older man. They waited in silence. It grew awkward and it was Ueda who broke it “Are you mad at Jin?” He said not looking at Kame. “Not especially. Why?” Kame replied staring ahead “I just noticed you were being cold and ignoring him.” Ueda said leaning back and looking up at the blue sky. “Ueda, what's up?” Kame cut straight to the point. Ueda chuckled “No beating around the bush eh?” He glanced sideways at the younger man.

“It's nothing.” He added, looking back just as a cloud covered the sun “Stop lying. You hardly ate anything and you don't look too good!” Kame said pointedly. Kame sighed, Ueda was obviously not willing to tell Kame what was up. “Ne, I've heard this. That you've stopped sleeping around and that you haven't been with anyone for two months.” Kame said, he knew he was on unsteady ground as he asked. If Ueda took it the wrong way the result could be a nice bruise. The older man had fallen silent, so Kame cautiously continued “Um, two months ago... that's when we and Jin...” He trailed off and looked at Ueda who was sitting quite still, not showing any from of reaction.

“It wasn't because of me and Jin that...?” Ueds cut in “No! No! No!” Ueda waved his arms in denial and Kame frowned. He knew of Ueda's needs. Heck he'd even dealt with them once, and the result was a definite change in their relationship. And together they had lured Jin into Kame's arms. But what had happened after that. A thought suddenly struck him. It was ridiculous! “Ueda, could it be... you've found a steady partner?” Kame frowned as he asked the question. With no response he looked intently at the older man and was shocked to find him blushing.

The shock made Kame jump to his feet “What?! You have?!” He yelled pointing at Ueda. The older man's head snapped in direction of Kame and he stared with bewildered eyes up at the younger man. His face felt hot and he was sure, and also judging by the growing size of Kame's eyes, that he was crimson. “No! No-nothing li-like that!” Ueda tried to deny, but his poor act wasn't fooling Kame in the slightest. “Oh my god!” He said sitting back down on the bench, facing the older man, who covered his flushed face with his hands. “I don't believe it! One thing is a steady partner, but you! You're in love!” Kame seemed over the moon.

Ueda swore he could see the sparkles in the man's eyes. Kame inhaled contently, clasping his hands together “So... are we feeling lovesick” His concern form earlier had evaporated and now his ditzy, girl like behavior remained. His tone was teasing and he put on the girly-BFF mode. Ueda was sure the man would have made and excellent drag queen. Kame giggled and leaned forward, towards Ueda “Well tell me!” He commanded. “Tell you what?” Ueda asked, though he had an idea “tell me who you're in love with!” Kame said, leaning forward some more. Eagerness almost making him jump onto the older man. Ueda hesitated, glancing at Kame's sparkly face. The sullen look on Ueda's face make Kame frown again. Kame grumbled, there had been some rumors about Ueda's promiscuity and along with it who he was sleeping with, so Kame tried to figure it out himself. His thoughts fell on one man. It was weird how the puzzle seemed to fit together, but still something seemed amiss. Kame decided to go with his hunch. “Could it be... Koki?” Kame's voice was tender and gentle.

Ueda frowned, it was odd how Kame had managed to pull Koki into this; since the man seemed to be smack in the middle of it. It was along the same lines Kame had thought when he pulled Koki out of the mix. But Ueda felt annoyed. Why did Koki have to be in the middle of it all. He cussed under his breath and slammed his fist into the bench underneath him. “No! It's not Koki!” Ueda said loudly and aggressively. Kame backed away “alri-” But Ueda continued “going around beating people up! What the hell is wrong with him?!” Ueda weaved his fingers in with his fringe, tugging slightly. The pieces seemed to fall into place like a ton of bricks. Kame's eyes widened. It couldn't be. “Ueda Tatsuya” He said, Ueda looked up, wondering why Kame had used his full name all of a sudden “don't tell me that the one you're in love with is Nishikido Ryo?” Ueda suddenly went pale, but in a split second he flushed a dark shade of crimson. Kame was speechless with shock. How had this happened?! Kame felt slightly confused by all the thoughts that were swirling around inside his head.

He leaned back, he had lost all his energy all of a sudden. Letting his head fall backwards, he stared up at the sky his mouth open before he was able to voice his thoughts “How the heck did this happen?!” Though he couldn't see Ueda, he could sense the man shifting uncomfortably next to him. “I didn't mean for it to happen!” Ueda said indignantly staring at the ground “It just happened! Ryo said he'd take care of it, and I just wanted to see how far he could go. But somehow... it ended up like this...” He sighed “I don't know what to do!” He kicked at the ground in frustration “Wait. Wait. Wait.” Kame sat back up “Does that mean that the reason Koki and Nishikido fought was... you?!” He pointed a questioning finger at the older man. Ueda just nodded. Kame gaped, he sat up straight and then stared straight ahead. “Well this is unexpected...” Kame said finally “So have you told Nishikido about your feelings?” Ueda gave him a sideways glance “Does it seem that way?” He asked slightly annoyed. Kame sniggered “I guess not. When did you realize?” Ueda stared straight ahead also, and after a short while he answered “yesterday” He said “seriously?!” Kame looked at the older man, surprise apparent.

“And now Nishikido is in the hospital, and no one knows anything. He might not even have work for a while” Kame said wondering aloud. The though hadn't occurred to Ueda who stared big eyed at the younger man. “I hadn't thought about that” He confessed. Kame snorted “Well, you just heard that he was sent to the hospital just moments ago” He said matter-of-factually, but Ueda still felt bad about it. “I guess it'll just have to wait. It isn't the sort of thing you tell someone over the phone.” Kame said calmly, crossing his arms over his chest. “Un, you're right.” Ueda said in a low voice “I can't visit him in the hospital either. Since we don't have any connection to each other that would make me visiting him natural.” Ueda confessed it more to himself than to Kame. But hearing Kame's agreeing “Un” Made his heart clench as reality hit him like cold water.

He clasped his hands together, bringing them to his forehead as he sighed deeply. His mind racing and blood thundering in his ears everything seemed very distant. He really wanted to see Ryo, but he knew it was impossible. Both men sat there in silence, the clouds slowly drifting by overhead as the sun reached it's highest point in the sky.

 

***

 

Ryo stared out the window. The strong light made his eyes hurt and he groaned shutting one eye and squinting with the other against the harsh midday sun. He was bored beyond his wits, and Manager-san had stepped out for a little. After calling the jimusho she'd returned and scribbled down some notes in the schedule telling him that he'd been cleared from work for two weeks for now. And that arrangements and cancellations were being taken care off. He sighed and sat up, immediately gripping at his chest as pain crept up his ribcage. He groaned loudly, hissing slightly gripping at the front of his shirt.

“Nishikido-san, are you alright?” It was the same nurse as before. She peeked into the room, clipboard clutched to her chest and a mixture of worry and embarrassed look on her face. “Um. I'm fine. Just sat up too quickly” He said rubbing his chest with a featherlight touch. Honestly he just wanted to go home. Go home and see if he could find something that could help him remember what had happened the last two months. The nurse frowned and she came in, sitting down on the chair next to his bed. He looked at her, though she didn't actually look at him. “Um, are you sure you're alright? You seem worried.” She said carefully. He looked away. He really didn't want to be alone, but her insecurity was a little frustrating. “It's nothing really. It's just the whole I can't remember thing that's bothering me.” He said tossing his arms down “Hm... I can understand that... kinda...” The nurse said clutching at the notepad that she'd placed in her lap.

He didn't say anything. “Um... if you need anything just let me know” She said, when he glanced at her he saw that her face was slightly flushed. Abruptly she jumped to her feet, bowed before she stormed out the door. He sniggered, and he couldn't help but think that she was kinda cute.


	7. His Decision Locked In the Others Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Ryo feels lost, Ueda is confused and Bakanishi is surprisingly useful.

“Ueda what are you looking for?” Jin asked looking at Ueda running about, lifting everything that could be lifted. “I can't find my cellphone!” He said lifting up a potted plant. Everyone frowned, though Ueda was kinda ditzy, he usually knew where his cellphone was. Everyone else were standing, ready to leave, watching Ueda run around looking for his phone. “Maybe you lost it somewhere? Go ask the reception desk.” Nakamaru suggested. “Yeah! I'll be right back!” Ueda said heading off at a high pace.

 

Everyone else took a seat, throwing their bags down next to their seat. Koki seemed to be the one who was most aggravated: the scowl on his face showing all his wrinkles as he glared in the direction that Ueda had gone. Kame was watching him closely, but he was distracted when Jin started whining. Again. “Kazu!” He said in a drawling voice as he leaned over the side of his chair, towards Kame who was sitting in the chair next to him “Stop whining Akanishi” He said coldly, not even looking at the other man.

When Kame used his last name Jin felt as if something wrenched his heart out his chest. “Akanishi!” Nakamaru said loudly and the look in his eyes said clearly “not here”. Jin zipped it, though rather reluctantly. He sat back in his chair, but frankly he wanted to go hide in a corner somewhere. Taguchi had pulled out his game and was eagerly hitting the buttons. Nakamaru was silently observing Akame: when they had arrived there they could hardly be torn off one another, but now, Kame seemed to be ignoring Jin's existence. He sighed wondering if he should just find his book and read instead.

 

Ueda stood waiting for the inn owner to arrive. She appeared around the corner, an elegant older woman wearing a kimono with a soft blue crane print. She stopped in front of him and bowed gracefully. He returned the gesture, feeling just a little awkward since she seemed so very refined. “We are very sorry to inconvenience you” She said straightening up “it appears that one of out new employees had a minor accident while she was cleaning your room.” She bowed again. Ueda frowned a little, he couldn't remember anything about his room being cleaned. But then again, he hadn't exactly been in his right mind yesterday either.

 

“Now if you would please follow me.” She stretched out her arm, gesturing him to follow her as she set off in the direction from which she came. Slightly worried Ueda followed her. They turned another corner at the end of the hall and went through a door. Suddenly Ueda found himself in the employees quarter. He looked around slightly baffled. The owner shot off again, explaining over the noise and bustle “normally we would never let a guest come in here. But you see the maid in question is pretty devastated, and refuses to leave her room.” She smiled the whole time she was saying it.

 

Ueda had an odd feeling as they went through another door, leaving the noise and bustle behind. It was apparent that these were the sleeping quarters. People watched as they passed by, she took a left at a corner and continued down the hallway before stopping in front of one of the doors. Ueda stopped a little away from her, watching as she tapped her hand gently on the door. “Suzuki-kun, come out now please.” The owner said in a mild and gentle voice, but from behind Ueda could sense that she most likely just wanted to tear the door down and drag her out. “Suzuki-kun, this instant” Her voice had become much sterner and she rapped on the door hard. Ueda could hear the faint sound of someone sniffing beyond the sliding door.

“Suzuki-kun!” It seemed the owners patience had worn thin so she pulled the door open and out stumbled the young girl. She looked at the owner and cringed away from her mean looking face. She then turned to look at Ueda, when she saw him she gave a loud squee sound, before she clutched the cellphone in her hands tighter to her chest. Ueda could tell that she'd been crying, a lot: her eyes were bloodshot, her cheeks were red and sore, her lip quivered and she tried to speak several times but ended up taking a sharp intake of air as she stared at the ground. “Out with it girl!” The owner commanded, pulling at the young girls shoulder so that she stood facing Ueda. She was shaking as she stood there, pressing the phone against her chest.

 

The owner slapped her over the head once. “ANO!” The girl finally spoke up but her voice was high pitched and shaky. “I'm really sorry!” She thrust the phone forward “It was just lying there, so I just wanted to have a peak. But my hands were slippery so it slipped out of my hands and into the bucket!” She hadn't taken a single break as she said it. “I'm really sorry!” She said again, giving the phone a slight shake as if she wanted him to take it. Ueda sighed. He really couldn't be angry with this girl. Her hands were shaking, he lifted his and gently took the phone out of her hands. Once free, the girls hands folded against her lap in a correct bow. He could hear her sob as he looked at the phone.

 

He opened it and tried to turn it on. It was totally dead. But for some reason it was alright. He could expect no less when he carelessly left his phone lying about with possible fans around. He lay his hand gently on her head, ruffling up her hair gently “It's OK. It was getting old anyway.” Indeed the phone was a little old, but it had worked just fine up until now. The girl glanced up, Ueda's hand still on her head just to be met by the man's gleaming smile. At the same time as tears gushed down her cheeks and her eyes were red and kinda swollen, cheeks red and puffy he could still see that she blushed deeply. He chuckled, and when he removed his hand from her head, she retreated into her room. Sliding the door shut with a soft clack.

 

The owner showed him out, apologizing again. Ueda was tempted to tell her to go easy on the girl, but the woman practically shooed him away once she'd apologized a few times. Ueda looked at his watch cussed internally and ran back to where the others where now waiting in the bus that was going to take them back to Tokyo. It wasn't until he reached home that he realized that he had lost Ryo's contact information.

 

***

 

“Nishikido-san” It was the doctor who came in the door. “After having consulted with other doctors and your manager, we have decided that we can let you go home. The condition being that your manager stays with you for the next, let's say, week or so and also you have to go to a check-up at your doctor in three days, and at the end of next week.” He said it in a happy way and Ryo felt his heart and spirit swell. “If you feel any pain or feel worse please contact your local hospital, and take these with you” He handed Ryo some papers. Ryo glanced over them and only saw a load of difficult words that he couldn't understand. He arched his eyebrows once before he put them on the bedside table “Thank you” He said gently. The doctor smiled widely at him “Please take care of yourself, Nishikido-san. I hope we wont be seeing you again!” He said jokingly. Ryo sniggered, bowing as best he could while being seated in bed. The doctor excused himself and left without another word.

Moments later Manager-san arrived, in her hands were a bag he recognized, it was his: he usually used it when he want from home to work. She came over with it and handed it to him “Here. Some fresh clothes” She said shortly before she snagged the papers off the bedside table and started flicking through them. “He said to bring those to the doctor.” Ryo said looking through the stuff in the bag, it had everything he needed. “Ok. Now, go shower and I'll gather everything. Once your done we can leave” She said flipping a few more pages. Ryo got to his feet and walked over to the small bathroom that was in his room. He went inside and found everything that he needed to take a shower. Once he was done he came out, the now empty bag dangling at his side. “Good!” Manager-san said happily, she was already standing at the door waiting for him.

As they walked down the hall a lot of nurses waved at him, smiling happily. The occasional young girl coming by blushing as he waved at them to. Downstairs in the garage Manager-san made her way over to a car: She put his stuff in the backseat and held the door open for him. Ryo climbed in, happy over the fact that he was going home. Apart from the occasional smalltalk about work and the proceedings over the coming days the drive back to Tokyo was a silent one. And he couldn't stop himself from thinking that if she was going to be this quiet the entire time he was going to have a problem. He sighed and stared out the window at the cars and streetlamps passing by.

 

He'd fallen asleep before they arrived in Tokyo. He was awoken by Manger-san talking to him. “Ryo-kun, we're here.” She said. When he looked out the window they were parked in front of his apartment building. He felt a little weight lift from his shoulders. He opened the car door and the cool air outside made him shiver slightly. He stretched his arms in the air, and regretted it straight away as pain shot up his body. He hissed in pain and was surprised when he felt a hand on his shoulder. “Ryo-kun are you alright?” Manager-san asked in a worried tone. He looked at her and took in her worried expression. He chuckled “Yeah. I'm fine. I just realized that I probably shouldn't stretch for a while.” He said jokingly. She still looked worried, but he lay a hand on her shoulder and said “Please don't worry so much. I'm not that weak.” He smiled at her. She still didn't look completely convinced, but she seemed to accept it for now.

 

Though he was hurt, his enthusiasm of being back home won over the pain as he hauled himself into the elevator and almost ran to the door of his apartment. “Ryo-kun, wait up!” Manager-san called after him as she came after him at normal pace. He couldn't get the key out of his pocket fast enough and shove it into the keyhole. When the lock clicked, he pulled the door open. The closed room smell hit him first, but he couldn't care less. Though he'd been told that it had only been a few days that he hadn't been at home, it felt like forever.

 

He wandered about the apartment, checking where everything was. He must have bought a few new things, since there were things there he didn't recognize. He sighed. Coming home hadn't changed anything, his mind was still blank. Blank for memories of the stifling summer heat. From surfing. Feeling the water splash on his face. Nothing. Not work. Not private time. He sighed again, but this time it really seemed like his soul would leave him as he slumped down into a chair in his living room. He took his hand to his forehead, it had started to throb painfully. “I want to remember!” He thought, suddenly he was overwhelmed with frustration.

 

Manager-san had gone into the kitchen, she came out with a bottle of water. “Here. We should have gone shopping before we came here.” She said thoughtfully, looking around the room. “It's really nice here. Ryo-kun” She said as she handed him the bottle. He took it and opened it, taking a large gulp of water. “I guess.” He said, his entire demeanor was depressed. Manager-san frowned at the young man. “Ryo-kun, I'll go shop a little. Try not to fall asleep, OK?” She said uncertainly, searching his face. “Yeah.” He said lazily without looking at her. He just played with the water bottle in his hands. “Um. Call me if anything happens.” She said before she walked out of the room. Leaving Ryo alone.

 

He leaned his head back against the backrest. Felling the sensations of cold, loss come over him. He pulled his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms around his knees. But the thought suddenly hit him. He bounced uop from the chair and searched the apartment. Finally he located it in a drawer in his bedroom. The digital camera. He sat down on the bed, he felt apprehensive as he switched it on.

Some pictures he remembered came up. Lot's of pictures of the various Kanjani members being silly. Some NEWS pictures. He came to pictures he didn't remember. He sniggered: Jin, unsurprisingly, was being a camera whore. Lots' off odd pictures, ordinary summer pictures like the ones from last year and a lot of party pictures. Yet again technology amazed him. But nothing stirred anything in his mind. But at least he felt a sort of relief finding these pictures, this photographic evidence. He sighed and lay the camera down on the bed next to him. He got up and went back to the living room.

 

***

 

For some reason work was harder than usual. Ueda sighed deeply for the hundredth time that day. “Ueda, stop sighing! You're making me depressed!” Taguchi said loudly from across the dressing room. Everyone else silently agreed with him. Ueda glared at the man “why should I?” He was feeling very on edge since he hadn't seen Ryo for a short while, and the fact that he'd lost all the man's contact information and not to mention he could simply ask Jin for it, but that would seem suspicious anyway so that was totally out of the question and he just felt the rant go on and on, and asking he's new comrade, Kame, if he could retrieve the info was bound to cause misunderstandings.

 

He'd spoken with the youngest member yesterday, where he'd told Ueda the reason why he was being cold to Jin: it was simply because Jin had been too jealous and refused to listen to Kame the first morning after everyone had been drunk. They spoke a little after they all stopped the fight between Ryo and Koki. But the two hadn't exchanged more than common curtsey after that. Ueda had felt it was all his fault, but Kame reassured him it was Bakanishi and alcohol that was the problem. It didn't make Ueda feel any better.

 

Ueda was steadily growing more restless as the day progressed. He hadn't heard anything about Ryo, and the fact that Kame and Jin weren't talking to each other didn't help Ueda's situation since Jin was the only person he knew that had something to do with Ryo. Slowly the day dragged on. The group were slightly on edge with Ueda and Kame's moods affecting them. And Jin being depressed didn't exactly boost moral either. When the day was finally over everyone were totally spent. And as they all parted and went their separate ways, they all thought that this couldn't go on forever.

 

***

 

Jin didn't want to get up. He felt so down he wanted to just stay here in his bed all day long, forever if possible. Nothing mattered anymore if Kame didn't talk to him. He gripped at the sheets, pouting loudly. He had to fix this. Now. But how? He sat up, pondering what he could do. Jin sighed deeply, which reminded him that this seemed to be the most common thing in the group these days. He ruffled his hair before a thought struck him. He tossed the covers aside and ran out of his room and into the bathroom for a quick shower.

 

Once he was out he snatched his phone and sent a text “[ I need to talk to you, can I meet you today? -Jin]” He got dressed while he waited for a reply. He snatched it up the phone when it jingled “[Yeah, sure. I'm at home, come right over.]” The message read. With a reassured outlook he snapped the phone closed and stuffed it in his pocket. He stuffed his phone in the other pocket and went out, snatching his keys from the table beside the door before going out locking the door behind him.

 

He rang the doorbell several times before the man opened the door. “Hey” Jin said huskily at his friend. Ryo arched one eyebrow at him with a sneer “Jin, what's so urgent? Sending me a text this time of day.” He said and opened the door to let the other man in “Wow, you look a right mess” Jin said pointedly looking the short man up and down “thank you for your keen observation, Bakanishi.” His voice was poisonous as he said it “Ryo! You know I hate it when people call me an idiot!” Jin said loudly. “Then maybe you should stop giving people reasons to call you on your stupidity.” Ryo spat at him, Jin backed away, hands raised in defense. “Chill man~!” Jin said as he backed away a little more.

 

“tsk!” Ryo said and stalked past Jin and went into the apartment. “Why are you so edgy?” Jin asked, following Ryo inside. Ryo threw himself down in a chair “I'm sorry. My head's a little messed up right now” He said , reaching up into his fringe and pulling it to the side. Jin sat down In one of the other chairs “So what are you here for? You said you needed to talk?” Ryo asked peering at Jin. “Un. I was just wondering, how should I go about apologizing to a guy?” Jin said casually “what? The normal way?” Ryo suggested “but he's not a normal guy. He's my lover.” Jin announced as if he was telling Ryo about the weather “huh?” Was the only thin that escaped his mouth as he stared at the other man. He was clearly shocked by what the other man had said, and gazed around the room for something else to look at.

 

“So I was just wondering if you had any ide-” Ryo cut in “Wait. Wait. Wait.” He said, holding up his hand signaling for the other to stop. When he had invited Jin over he wasn't expecting this! To be completely honest the only reason why he had said yes was because he was a little lonely, and he couldn't talk to his female manager about everything. But obviously Jin's strongest attribute was that he had been with Ryo many times this summer, and he remembered. It might be very rude on Ryo's part, but he didn't care. The idea of the other man being angry with Ryo for using him wasn't as as frightening and frustrating as not remembering anything. Jin had stopped speaking and was now staring at Ryo instead, waiting for the other man to speak. Ryo took a shallow breath and with a frown on his face he gazed at Jin “you are in a relationship with a man?” He asked coldly “Yeah, sorry man that I never got around to telling you. I told Yamapi though” Jin said thoughtfully, more to himself than to Ryo.

 

“Since when did you like guys?!” Ryo couldn't retain the question and it might have come out sounding harsher than he had intended “look, I'm sorry, it's just that I though you were straight.” Ryo said looking away from the other man's hurt expression. “Oh, I am. I only like my Kazu!” Jin said a kind of tranquility coming over him. Ryo couldn't help but realize he'd never seen his friend like this. But suddenly his mind started to function a little better and his eyes widened “Kazu? Kazuya?” He looked up to see Jin looking at him “Kamenashi?” He asked bewildered, Jin simply nodded.

 

Ryo looked away again, his head was pounding and an odd image appeared in his mind: Jin and Yamapi walking away from him, and a nervous Kame following behind them. He frowned deeply, he couldn't place the image anywhere. It just floated by in his minds eye but he couldn't place it anywhere. He'd been living with his amnesia for a few days now, and it was driving him crazy: getting all sorts of messages from people he didn't know, looking over interviews he couldn't remember doing, and finding songs he couldn't remember writing.

 

He'd been to the doctor's a couple of days ago. He'd been given a full check-up there, and the doctor told him pretty much the same thing as the other one; That all was fine except from his fractured ribs and his bruising and his amnesia, everything else was fine. He'd also been told there to contact the hospital if he noticed any changes in his physical condition. But as Ryo saw it, his entire condition was off. His frustration over not remembering grew every time something happened, that he felt he should have known. Every now and then a fleeting image of something or another that he couldn't understand came to him.

 

Jin looked at him, worry apparent in his eyes “Ryo what's up?” He asked finally edging closer to the Ryo as he spoke. “I heard you were there when I was beaten up by Tanaka?” Ryo said. To Jin, Ryo so bluntly avoiding to answer his question only made him want to pry more. “Yeah I was” He confirmed, his frown growing deeper. “Then would you happen to know why?” Ryo asked looking at his friends face for a short second before looking away. “Why? Why what?” Jin asked more confused than ever “Why I was fighting and beat up by Tanaka Koki.” Ryo said still not looking at the other.

 

“What do you mean? The only people who could know that is you and Koki. And Koki wont talk!” Jin said waving his arms about. “Ryo what the hell is going on?” He continued. About to start his rant, Ryo cut in before he could even get started “I don't remember Jin. Due to that beating I've got amnesia. I can't remember anything of the past two months!” Ryo half shouted bitterly. Jin stared at him, he couldn't believe what the man had just told him. “A-amnesia? Don't people usually forget everything when they have that?” Jin asked stupidly staring big eyed at Ryo “hmph, you watch too many dramas, Bakanishi!” Ryo said coldly. Jin was so out of it that he couldn't even manage to tell Ryo to stop calling him an idiot.

 

Oddly, Ryo felt a little better after telling Jin about his condition. “Anyways, about Kamenashi. How about just admitting your mistakes, recognize yourself as an idiot and begging for forgiveness while also saying you'll never do it again? Though I have no idea what you've done, but that way usually works” Ryo said casually, when Jin didn't reply “Well, I doubt flowers would work” He said with a disbelieving look over at Jin, who's mouth was hanging slightly open.

 

***

 

It had been over a week since Ueda had heard any news of Ryo, and his restlessness was still growing. Boxing was only a temporary distraction at this point. Ueda sighed deeply to the frustration of the other men in the room. “Ueda!” Nakamru said in a warning tone, glaring at the man from where he was sitting. Ueda glared back. The last thing he'd heard about Ryo was that he was in the hospital. He didn't know how his condition was, or if he'd been released. He shuddered with another sigh. “OK. That's it. I'm leaving!” Nakamaru said and got to his feet. Taguchi gave Ueda an apologetic look before the two of them marched out of the room. Since Kame and Jin were doing their parts now, the only one left in the dressing room with him was Koki.

 

Koki lazily got to his feet, wandering over to stand in front of him. “No word from him huh?” He asked his sarcastic tone was plain and obvious. Ueda fixed a glare at him “None of your business Koki!” Ueda hissed, but quickly realized that Koki was at the center of this mess. He gritted his teeth and looked away. “Ne, you know.” Koki continued like he hadn't heard anything “Last night, I went out for a little bit. Some friends of mine called me over.” He did a dramatic pause “and when I was out, I saw Nishikido by chance” another pause as he saw Ueda twitch “he was chatting up some chick” He said darkly staring intently at Ueda who gave a violent shiver before he went completely rigid.

 

“Talk about faithful guy huh?” He snorted and placed a hand on Ueda's shoulder “He's not good enough for you.” He said, his voice cold as ice, gripping hard on the older man's shoulder. Ueda tossed him off, pulling away from Koki who chuckled. “Become mine. I'll never do that to you” Koki continued in a husky tone. Ueda felt his hear quiver, he gripped at the front of his shirt as he stifled the tears that were threatening to come out.

 

“... stop being ridiculous” Kame's voice became clear once he opened the door. He'd been talking to Nakamaru who was close behind him. Kame stopped dead when he saw Koki practically hovering over Ueda. Something seemed to go through his mind in a flash before he smiled brightly saying a little bit louder than necessary “Ueda, can I have a moment?” Ueda was a little startled by Kame's sudden request but went along with it. Anything to get away from Koki. So quickly he got up and walked towards the door where he passed Nakamaru who was on his way in. Together with Kame they made their way along the hallway. They stopped around a corner.

 

Kame wasted no time “What did he say to you?” He stared intently at the older man, who seemed very putout. Ueda seemed uncertain of what to say about the situation but gulped once before he told Kame what Koki had told him “Koki told me that he saw Ryo out on the town... with a woman.” Even he noticed the sadness that filled the last part of the sentence. He cringed from his own words as the sorrow welled up in his chest. The emotions were overwhelming and he sniffed a few times, but once he saw the sympathy in Kame's eyes he did his best to stop.

 

They continued to speak in hushed voices. But were interrupted by Jin who suddenly came wandering down the hallway. He spotted Kame and called out, not taking in the atmosphere at all. Kame and Ueda jumped slightly, and stared at Jin who came towards them, grinning like an idiot. “What the heck?” Kame said under his breath and turned to face Jin, who came towards them. He stopped in front of the younger man, a goofy grin on his face that made Kame's frown grow deeper.

 

“Kazu!” He said enthusiastically “What do you want Akanishi?” Kame said coldly. The grin disappeared from his face, and suddenly he looked like a kicked puppy. “Anno~ I wondered if you would join me after work? I would like to talk to you.” He said it with a sad tone as he kept glancing from Kame to the floor and back again. Something seemed to glide over Kame's eyes, a look of affection. But he soon caught himself and regained his cold composure “I guess. I've got no other plans for later” He said nonchalantly, brushing the older man off.

 

The mood was slightly odd so Ueda cleared his throat. Jin jumped and looked at Ueda “Wah! Ueda. How long you been standing there?” He asked surprised. “Uh, since before you got here.” He said calmly. He chuckled as a slight flush spread in the younger man's cheeks. Kame just rolled his eyes skywards and shook his head. Embarrassed Jin cleared his throat and said “Um. We should get going to the briefing” before he headed off past the two. Ueda grinned and looked to the side to see Kame stare after Jin with a happy look on his face. He couldn't help but feel happy for the two.

 

Once they got to meeting room, Tegoshi came bouncing out of it. Ueda stopped dead in his tracks. “Wah? Tegoshi-kun, are NEWS in on this briefing to?” Nakamaru said, voicing everyone's question. “Yeah, you guys are also in on it?” Tegoshi asked, cocking his head to the side as KAT-TUN stopped in front of him. “Yeah. Is Pi in there?” Jin asked casually. Tegoshi just nodded “but I gotta run to- well see yah!” He said and took off at a run down the corridor. “That boy really has a lot of energy” Nakamaru said as he went forward and opened the door.

 

Inside a lot of staff were already seated, ready to begin. Across from them sat the members of NEWS, all except Ryo. Ueda felt sort of relieved yet very disappointed at the same time. “Oh, KAT-TUN have arrived, now we can begin the meeting once Tegoshi-san returnes.” A tall man, with a blue suit on said getting to his feet.

 

There was a slight commotion when the door flew open again and Tegoshi came storming in the door, another man at his heels. “Hey, look who I found!” He said happily indication the man behind him. Ueda's heart gave a painful throb as he saw whom it was. “Ryo-chan!” Koyama exclaimed, opening his arms as if to embrace Ryo. Ryo chuckled, embarrassed by the warm reception and he greeted them all with a nod and an embarrassed smile. Ueda's hearty started to pound. He was afraid people could hear the hammering and wiggled uncomfortably in his seat.

 

Ryo was lead into the room, by the other members of NEWS. He passed by KAT-TUN who were seated closer to the door. He swept by, not giving the group any form of obvious recognition. Ueda felt his chest squeeze tight. Why, after all this time, wouldn't Ryo even spare him a glance? Or even look at the group to see if he was there? Ueda felt troubled. He couldn't understand why Ryo was so bluntly ignoring their existence. Next to him he heard Koki snort. Ueda wanted to run after Ryo and ask him why he hadn’t even pretended to say hi to anyone in KAT-TUN, or even made an attempt at looking at him.

 

Kame must have felt his distress for he placed a hand firmly on Ueda's shoulder and squeezed tightly once. Ueda still felt pained. Honestly he wanted to leave, but he knew he couldn't. He tightened his hands into fists in his lap. Swallowing hard as his confusion grew along with the pain in his chest. Why was Ryo ignoring him?

 

Once the briefing was done, everyone prepared to leave. Ueda stared longingly after Ryo who was talking things over with one of the staff members. The rest of NEWS had already left, and from KAT-TUN only Ueda and Koki lingered in the room. “Ueda. Let's go” Koki said huskily, his hands in his pockets as he leaned slightly back, glaring at Ryo. But Ueda didn't want to leave, he lingered, trying to find an excuse to stay.

 

“OK. Thank you!” Ryo said appreciatively to the staff member he'd been talking to. He turned, saw Ueda looking a little upset, but quickly spotted Koki. Immediately his senses sharpened and he was alert. He fixed his eyes on Koki, putting all his force into the stare. Koki glared back. Both men seemed to challenge each other. But suddenly Ryo realized, why was he irking to fight Koki. Yes, Koki had beat him up, but he didn't feel like he needed to resort to such childish behavior to sort this out. No there must be some other reason his anger was growing, burning inside him.

 

Suddenly Koki smirked, enraging Ryo more, “Ueda, let's go” He said quickly, marching forward and grabbing the older man's wrist. Totally stupefied, Ueda didn't fight the man but was pulled along by him. Keeping his eyes on Ryo: who frowned at the look the older man was giving him. A weird emotion filled his heart as he watched the older man disappear.

 

They turned at a corner a long way down the corridor before Ueda regained his senses and pulled himself free from Koki's grip. “Koki! What the hell?!” Ueda yelled backing away from the man. “Well no point in staying there? It didn't seem like he was intending to talk to you anyway.” Koki said coldly, a blank expression on his face. Ueda felt his emotions explode. “Don't mess with me!” He yelled stormed forward and pushed Koki so that he fell to the ground with a nice thud. Ueda ran off, leaving Koki.

 

He came running down the hall just as he heard the elevator door close. Instinctively he knew Ryo was in the elevator, and since he didn't know how soon an elevator could get there he decided to take the stairs. He ran as fast as he could. His lounges were hurting and his throat was dry. He ran until he hit the door of the parking lot, opening it so that it hit the wall with a loud bang. He heaved and panted for air, leaning forward, hands in his knees as he tried to catch his breath. The pling of the elevator sounded throughout the parking lot, echoing off the walls and pillars. Ryo came casually wandering out, heading towards a car in silence.

 

“Ryo!” Ueda shouted, his throat hurt. Ryo stopped and looked around to see who'd shouted. When he saw Ueda, drenched in sweat and hunched over panting for air, he frowned deeply. He stood where he was and watched as Ueda slowly came closer “Ryo, I wanted to talk to you, but you-” Ueda heaved but was interrupted “talk to me? Why would you want to talk to me?” Ryo said sounding harsh. Ueda looked at him, he didn't understand. No one was around now so why was Ryo acting like this “Ryo, why are you being like this?” He asked “Like what? It's not like we're friends. And since when did you start to address me by my first name?” He said still sounding harsh.

Ueda wanted to cry. He didn't understand anything and he'd been left dumbstruck by the man's sharp tongue. “If you'll excuse me. I have to go.” Ryo said coldly, turning on his heel, leaving Ueda behind. Ueda fell to his knees. He couldn't retain them any longer, hot tears flowed down his cheeks and he sobbed loudly. He couldn't careless if others saw him. But he couldn't stop. His heart was throbbing painfully and he gasped for air between sobs.

***

Ryo sat in the car. He felt rather odd. A weird twinging in his chest, but since he wasn't doing anything his fractured ribs couldn't be the reason. He frowned at himself in the mirror. Seeing the image of Ueda's face float before his eyes, it twinged harder. “What the hell is going on?” He asked himself out loud, leaning back in his seat and sighing deeply before he started the car and left the building.

 

***

 

Suddenly the doorbell rang “damn it!” Jin growled, throwing himself out of bed and pulling in his pants before stomping out of the bedroom. Kame pulled the covers over himself, getting comfortable in Jin's bed, turning around to get a good whiff of the pillows and bedding that smelled like him. He groaned unhappily as he waited for Jin to return.

 

Jin couldn't imagine who it could be at this late hour. He wrenched the door open, and his anger subsided when his eyes fell on the gloomy man standing outside his door. Without a word or waiting to be asked to come in the man trotted inside “Ueda?” Was all that escaped Jin's mouth as the older man made his way into Jin's apartment.

 

He went into the living room, sitting down on the sofa completely ignoring the atmosphere. Jin wandered after him, but before he could enter the living room, Kame came flying, passing him by. Kame threw himself down on the couch next to the older man, he looked worried and he leaned in close before he asked “Ueda, wh-?” But Ueda answered before Kame could ask “you didn't answer your phone.” He said numbly “Usually you always answer. Except when you're working, but I called Manager-san and they told me that you didn't have any work for a couple of days.” He paused shortly before continuing in the same numb tone “So I figured you'd be here with Akanissi. But I couldn't find either of you, even after calling around, so I ended up coming here.” During the whole time he had spoken he hadn't looked at the other two once.

 

“Well of course no one would answer!” Jin exclaimed “would you mind taking notice of the situation?” He said angrily. Only then did Ueda finally look up to see that the two men were half-naked and slightly ruffled. Ueda blushed, looking back at the ground again with a muffled “sorry” Before he continued.

 

He turned to face Kame, his one and only companion “He rejected me!” Ueda said shortly. And after saying it, as if he recognized it as the truth he started to sob again. Kame frowned deeper and placed a secure hand on Ueda's shoulder. Slowly Ueda lay his own hand over Kame's. “What?” Jin said annoyed, crossing his arms over his chest as he stepped closer, also frowning. But the two on the couch ignored him.

 

“He just acted like nothing had hapgpened” Ueda sobbed, tears running down his cheeks. Kame looked up on Ueda with worried eyes “Ryo?” He asked simply, his voice mild and gentle. Ueda couldn't even nod, since he felt it would only make his ache worse. Jin was confused “What does Ryo have to do with this?” He asked, but was again ignored. He grew steadily frustrated, seeing as Ueda got all of Kame's attention when he'd finally gotten his Kazu back. His angry mind searched for a solution to this problem. But as he did, a thing occurred to him: that day, he'd been lured into a room by Kame and Ueda. Suddenly a wave of jealousy filled him, he glared at the two men on the couch. But he still couldn't get why Ryo was mixed up in this.

 

“What about Ryo?” He asked again, marching forward. The fact that he was ignored yet again made his head explode “It was like he didn't even remember it” Ueda said in a chocked voice. “He doesn't!” Jin yelled “Ryo has amnesia! He doesn't remember anything since the beginning of June til now!” Now both Kame and Ueda had their full attention on Jin. “Amneisa?” Ueda echoed in a low voice, barely audible. Jin suddenly felt like he'd said something he shouldn't have.

 

“Since when did you know?” Kame asked coldly. “A few days ago. I was just going to talk to him when he asked me if I knew the reason why he'd fought with Koki. And after that he told me.” Jin said, his anger had sort of punctured and he suddenly felt stupid for some reason. “But why all this talk of Ryo anyway?!” He exclaimed waving his arms about. Kame suddenly started pulling Ueda's fringe out of his face, as he said calmly “Ueda has fallen for Ryo” Kame said continuing to stroke the sides of Ueda's face.

 

Jin stared at the pair sitting on his couch in shock. “Wait. Fallen? Huh? Ueda has fallen for? He's in love with?” He wasn't even able to finish a sentence as he pointed a shaky finger at Ueda. It was Kame who answered with a nod. Jin walked over and sat down next to Kame. “Wait. For real?!” He asked again. Kame rolled his eyes. Ueda leaned towards Kame, against the younger man's shoulder, closing his eyes before he said in a tear filled voice “the worst part being that he said he loved me first. But now. He has forgotten all about it.” Ueda sobbed “what?!” Kame and Jin exclaimed together. “You never told me that!” Kame said loudly “It was the first time he and Koki fought. It was actually the reason they started fighting. At that time I hadn't realized my feelings, so, because I was so flustered, I punched both of them and ran” Ueda finished.

 

“Wait. Ryo told you he was in love with you” Jin said pointing at Ueda “which started a fight between him and Koki. And because you were so flustered by Ryo's sudden confession you K.O.'ed both of them?” He said in a questioning manner. Ueda simply nodded in response. “You catch on fast this time, Bakanishi!” Kame teased lovingly. Ueda perked up “Not gonna tell him off for calling you an idiot?” He chuckled “Nah, I feel the love!” Jin said happily. Making Kame blush and giggle a little.

 

A few minutes later, Kame and Jin said goodbye to Ueda at the door. Ueda chuckled as he waited for the elevator. I think their relationship is going to be like that. Fighting, then make-up sex. And it's always going to be Jin who'll be apologizing. He sniggered as he went in and pushed the button for the ground floor. Once downstairs he hauled a cab and went home. Somehow he was able to keep his emotions at bay, thank god for being an idol? He wondered how he was able to behave normally and chat a little with the driver as they drove.

 

Though once inside his apartment, he slid down the inside of his door before he was even able to take his shoes off. He sobbed loudly. The sound heartbreaking as it echoed off the walls. He crawled to the wood paneled floor, where he curled into a ball. Sobbing and shaking wrapping his arms around himself for comfort.

 

He didn't know for how long he'd been lying there once he finally stopped crying. In a zombi-like state got to his feet and made his way further into the apartment. He switched on some lights here and there, just so that he could see where he was going. He avoided all mirrors, not that he had that many, but he was determined not to see himself in this state. He got himself a cup of tea and some snacks before he walked over to the sofa and lay down, tucking a big blanket around himself.

 

He felt so pitiful where he lay. He wanted to cry again. Quickly he got to his feet and hurried to his bedroom where he got the box of paper tissues and brought it back to the living room. He curled iup into a ball on the sofa. Sniffing and crying as he watched re-runs of stupid TV-shows.

 

After what must have been a few hours he sat up straight. He loved Ryo, he really did. Because if he didn't then he wouldn't be so crushed over this. But, Ryo hadn't been gay to begin with. Heck, Ryo hadn't liked him to begin with. Today's rejection was proof of that. He clenched his fists tight, determined. He was going to give up on Ryo. Give up on this love. For he knew that this wasn't the best thing for him. If such a story got leaked to the press both his, but more importantly Ryo's career would be damaged. He could always bounce back somehow, either just stay and be discriminated against or he could just hit the underground scene.

 

He felt the hopelessness well up. But he quickly subdued it. He couldn't be like this! He wanted what was best for Ryo, and that was a life without him. He shuddered as he thought it. He felt the flood of tears explode yet again and he threw himself down on the couch with a new fistful of tissues.


	8. It's Not Easy For Any of Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Now, more than ever, Ryo was convinced that Ueda had something to do with the memories he'd forgotten.” And it's not an easy night to be Akanishi Jin.

Ryo groaned, he hadn't had a good nights sleep. The image of Ueda kept flowing into his mind and along with it many images he couldn't place anywhere. He'd been struggling with a throbbing headache and his chest hurting. He really couldn't get why, but he couldn't help but feel it was somehow connected to Ueda. He felt so confused by the whole situation. He'd never had a relationship to Ueda.

Heck, a few years ago they had seemed like bitter enemies. He felt so frustrated suddenly. Steam oozed from the cup of coffee in front of him. He hadn't drank of it yet since he was so preoccupied with this matter. He groaned unhappily, playing with the cup in his hands. “Maybe I should ask Ueda? He seems to know something.” He discussed with himself aloud. He lifted the cup to his lips finally and sipped at it slowly.

***

 

“Ueda-san, please come this way” A staff member said and gestured for him to go that way. Solemnly he walked the way he'd been told to go, closely followed by Akame, who again were all lovey-dovey. He sighed deeply, his eyes burned and he was tiered: He'd been up most of the night crying and thinking too much. He just wanted to go home, but he knew he couldn't.

Today they were going yo try out some things for the project between KAT-TUN and NEWS. And if he'd understood the staff members Ryo was going to be there even if he couldn't participate in the actual rehearsal, he would still be there to watch. Ueda really didn't want to see Ryo now. He wasn't ready for this. Not ready at all.

“Ueda” He jumped as Kame placed a hand on his shoulder. His facial expression changed abruptly as he saw Ueda's face. “Um, come here.” He said he, he gave Jin a nod with a worried expression before the pulled the older man off to the side. Kame grabbed the older man's shoulders and stared into the man's blood shot eyes. “Ueda! What's up?” Kame asked slightly frightened by by the man's appearance “It's nothing” Ueda lied and looked away from the younger man.

“I'm not buying that. Look at you! You're a mess!” Kame said in a hushed shout, gripping the older man's shoulders and shaking him slightly. “Kame.” Ueda said in a numb voice, making Kame stop dead “I give up. Ry-Nishikido's life is better without me forcing my way into it.” He said, but t Kame he looked dead and extremely sad. “Ueda” Kame said feeling pain grip his heart.

 

“It's alright. It's the only right thing to do. He was never into men to begin with. It would be bad for both of our careers if we got found out, and...” His voice trailed off into a sob. Trying to use the same reasoning in Kame as himself clearly wasn't working well. Ueda placed his hands on Kame's chest, gripping them into fists as he sank together.

 

Letting Ueda lean on him he fished his phone out of his pocket. “Yeah, it's me. Can you come and help me a little?” He asked before he hung up, putting his arms under Ueda's to support him. A few minutes later Nakamaru showed up. He frowned a little as he came towards the pair. But with a low sigh he grabbed Ueda and hoisted him to his feet. Ueda was so out of it that he didn't even react to falling backwards a little, gently he leaned on Nakamaru who just exchanged a glance with Kame before he pushed the man into a standing position again.

 

“Ueda, let's go” Nakamaru said determinately, giving the man a gentle push to move him in the right direction.

 

After practically dragging Ueda along the corridor in silence, Nakamaru asked “Do I want to know?” Glancing at Kame who was on Ueda's other side “Maybe later” Kame said without looking at the oldest member. Ueda just limply let the two men guide him along. Once they reached the dance studio, they stopped outside. They put Ueda against the wall, where he sank together again. Kame stood in front of him and took the man's face in his hands “Ueda, you gotta snap out of it. We're right outside the dance studio, and you can't go in like this” Kame said shaking the man a little again.

 

Ueda wiped his face and stood up straight, looking into Kame's worried eyes. “I'm-I'm OK.” He said with a loud sniff. Though Kame didn't believe him, he sighed, patted him on the shoulder before straightening up and heading for the door. Nakamaru opened it, waiting for the two others to go in before him. Once Ueda was inside he closed the door after himself.

 

Inside there were a lot of people already on the floor, and the music was playing at a low volume to allow the instructor to talk. Most of NEWS were already dancing, but to Ueda's relief Ryo wasn't there. While Ueda made his way over to the table to get some water, Kame tossed his jacket to join the dance rehearsal. He stood next to Koki, who pretended like nothing and stood watching the instructor while lazily mimicking the dance moves.

 

Ueda quickly joined everyone one the floor, and before anyone noticed an hour had passed. During the break there was a small commotion which made everyone look up to see Ryo standing by the door. Ueda felt as if his heart give a violent and painful jolt, making breathing difficult. He suddenly felt someone at his side and looked to see Kame standing very close to him. “Don't look at him” Kame said in a sad voice, tugging lightly on Ueda's clothes. Ueda somehow managed to nod quite stiffly before he tore his eyes away from Ryo.

 

Once the crowd around him dispersed, Ryo looked around the room. He spotted Jin first then looked through the group to see the one he was looking for. Ueda was sitting on a chair with his back to Ryo and as he watched Nakamaru leaned down and started talking to the man. As he watched Ueda nodded feebly and Nakamaru placed a reassuring hand on Ueda's, which was lying in his lap. Ryo felt an weird sensation of anger come over him as his eyes stayed focused on Nakamaru's hand on Ueda's. But he was stirred from his state of mind by Tegoshi.

 

“Ryo-chan, are you sure you're OK? You look upset.” The younger man said as he watched the frown on the older man's face. The wrinkles soon disappeared as Ryo looked at the young and spirited man. “Yeah, I was just thinking of something that happened. Nothing to worry about.” He waved the matter away and followed Tegoshi over to where NEWS had gathered, where he found a chair to sit down on.

 

He kept following Ueda with his eyes, feeling a twinge of annoyance every time some one spoke to him seeming a little too familiar. But every time he caught himself feeling this way he really couldn't understand why. It made him all the more frustrated and angry. He decided to put Ueda off his mind, but that wasn't easy, every time he managed to relax somewhat his eyes kept darting back to the man. But there was no window of opportunity for him to get close to Ueda. It almost seemed like some of the members of KAT-TUN did this on purpose to keep Ryo away, since every now and then he would feel eyes on him. But every time he turned to look no one was watching him.

 

He was starting to think he'd grown paranoid when the day's rehearsals were over. Once everyone had said their thank you's and good work's, the dance studio was quickly emptied. Ryo sighed deeply getting to his feet and walking over to the mirrors. He glared at himself “Why can't you remember?” He asked himself crossly. He sighed again and tried to remember all the choreography he'd watched until a little while ago. He tried and tried, but soon felt the pain spread from his chest out into the rest of his body.

 

***

 

“Ah!” Ueda stopped “I forgot something. You just go on without me, I'll catch up!” He said to Akame and Nakamaru. He ran past Taguchi and Koki and back to the dance studio. Koki looked after him as he disappeared down the corridor.

 

Ueda stopped in front of the door to the dance studio, silently he opened the door and went in. He was a little surprised to find that the lights were still on, but a sudden groaning made his eyes dart to the only other person in the room – Ryo.

 

When the door slammed shut Ryo looked up and towards it, seeing Ueda standing there staring at him. A sudden jolt in his heart sent him tripping over his feet. He hit the floor with a muffled cry of pain.

 

Seeing that Ryo was having trouble Ueda quickly made his way over, kneeling down next to the man, his heart pounding. This was exactly what he'd been trying to avoid. But his love for the man made him overly worried and bothered with him. In his mind Ueda cursed himself for coming this close to the man.

 

“Um. Are you alright?” Ueda forced the words out “Yeah, I guess.” Ryo groaned using Ueda as a means of sitting up. Ueda felt a shiver go through his body and the place where Ryo's hand was burned. Ueda tried not to look at Ryo too much, and begged that his thundering heartbeat wouldn't give him away.

 

“Ueda I wanted to ask you something” Ryo said, this was a golden opportunity after all. Ueda gave a confirming un, and turned his face slightly to the side to gaze past Ryo, but instead their eyes met. Ueda gulped, he hadn't been so close to Ryo for such a long time. Time seemed to stand still as he gazed into black orbs and he gulped repeatedly.

 

Ryo stared into Ueda's eyes and he could feel his heart rate accelerate. He searched the others face, though Ueda was a man, his face had many feminine features. He leaned closer, closer. He could feel the older man's breath on his face, which came to a halt as he came closer. The older man's fringe caressed his skin as he licked his lips before pressing them to the older man's.

 

Ueda pushed the man away. Ryo fell back and gazed at the older man. He was shocked to find him crying. Ueda stood up abruptly, staring at Ryo. He clapped a hand over his mouth to hold back a sob before he stormed out of the room. Ryo sat on the floor, looking after the older man. But suddenly realization came over him and he too lifted his hands to his lips in shock. What had he done? He'd kissed Ueda. He'd kissed a man. But it didn't feel wrong at all. Actually he felt like he wanted it. That feeling of loss that had appeared for a split second as their lips parted lingered within him.

 

Now, more than ever, Ryo was convinced that Ueda had something to do with the memories he'd forgotten.

 

***

 

Ueda stopped, he'd been running for a while now. He slumped to the floor, panting heavily. His heart pounding in his chest; though he couldn't tell if it was from the running, or what just happened. His breath caught once the image appeared yet again: Ryo's closed eyes, long eyelashes, coming closer and closer. The warm, moist sensation lingered on his lips. It wasn't like he'd never kissed the man before, but this, this was so sudden, so unexpected.

 

Ryo was supposed to have forgotten all about it, and Ueda was supposed to let the man go on with his life without him. He slumped to his knees not knowing what to do. He was so confused now, he really didn't know what to do or what to think. He had been so determined and, and... he sighed deeply, choking back a sob.

 

He didn't know for how long he'd been sitting there, but he snapped back to reality once he heard footsteps coming his way. Not wanting to be seen, since he figured his face was an indescribable mess, he hurried along towards the, hopefully empty, dressing room.

 

***

 

“Koki! Come on!” Nakamaru yelled, he stood with his bag over his shoulder ready to leave. It was bizzare, normally Nakamaru would be the last person ready to leave, but this time Koki was taking forever. “Yeah, I'm coming. I'm coming.” Koki replied lazily. The man walked over to Nakamaru, who was holding the door open.

 

Everyone else had left a little while ago, well, all except Ueda. And Nakamaru couldn't shake the feeling that Ueda was the reason for Koki's lingering. Nakamaru sighed, clearly annoyed and bothered. “Koki! If you don't come NOW! I'm going to leave!” He said, raising his voice. Koki wasn't used to Nakamaru being this agitated, so he resigned to the fact that he wanted to talk to the man. Together they made their way out to the front of the agency, where they would catch a taxi to the bar they had decided on.

 

They had reserved a VIP room at one of the bars they were familiar with. When they arrived one of the waiters greeted them and called a cute waitress over to escort them to the room. Once inside they ordered some beer and snacks. The waitress bowed her way out and closed the door gently.

 

“So” Nakamaru started “what is it that you want to talk about?” He said looking at the younger man sitting opposite him. Koki looked from the floor and up at Nakamaru before he blurted out “Earlier, you and Kame were keeping an extra close eye on Ueda. And Kame, whenever he isn't preoccupied with his beloved JinJin, he's overly protective of Ueda. Sticking close to him at all times. So I just wanted to know-” But Nakamaru interrupted him “I don't want to talk about Ueda.” He said coldly.

 

“Yuuchi!” Koki said in a complaining voice just as the door opened and their orders arrived. Nakamaru smiled gently at the waitress who blushed and left them quickly. “Look, if that was all you wanted to talk about then I'm leaving once I've finished this” He said indicating his beer. “But” Koki started “Koki, I do.not.want.to.talk.about.Ueda!” Nakamaru said firmly, pressing the glass against his lower lip and taking a sip. “But Yuuchi!” Koki continued “You know something! And I want to know about Ueda. There's something fishy going on with Nishikido.” He took a breather “I mean it! How could-” Nakamaru slammed his beer glass down on the wooden table “KOKI! Like I said I don't want to talk about it! And anyways, I don't care, what-so-ever, about Nishikido. Why the hell are you even bringing him up?!”

 

Koki cleared his throat, he'd never seen his friend this angry “I think.” He said “that Ueda has fallen for Nishikido.” His voice trailed off, he didn't want to say it. Since saying it made it seem so real, so final. When Koki raised his gaze to Nakamaru, he saw that the older man had a perplexed look on his face as if he was thinking something through. Something seemed to become clear to him, as if pieces of a puzzle were falling into place. “What?!” Koki asked eagerly. But the sudden shine in the younger man's eyes made Nakamaru's heart ache.

 

“I said I wasn't going to talk about Ueda!” He repeated himself, putting as much determination into it as he could gather. “But, Yuuchi, you seemed to think of something” Koki whined. The overwhelming interest that Koki showed for Ueda were plain and painfully obvious. They made Nakamaru's chest squeeze tight and he mumbled something that Koki couldn't hear “Huh? Yuuchi what did you say?” Koki frowned looking at the older man who was now leaning forward, his head hanging. “I said” Nakamaru voiced, his voice full of tears “When I'm with you I don't want to talk about other people. At least... not for a while.” He said before his voice broke and he jumped to his feet.

 

As he did he shoved the table, which made his glass of beer topple over, before he stormed form the room. Leaving a shocked and stunned Koki alone. “What the hell was wrong with him?!” He exclaimed. He suddenly felt a need to drink so he snatched up his beer and drank. Leaning back he cussed under his breath. He really didn't want to be with anyone, so he decided to go home.

 

***

 

Kame giggled as Jin nuzzled his face into the arch of his neck. He parted his lips and let his tongue slide along the younger man's elegant neck. The doorbell rang. They ignored it. It rang again. And a third time. And a fourth time. Jin growled and pushed himself off Kame, he got out of bed and stalked to door. He looked through the peek hole, Kame came out behind him “who is it?” He asked “It's Ueda” Jin said calmly and took a step back from the door.

 

“Hm?” Kame said and made his way past Jin to look to, he frowned. “He doesn't look good.” Kame said and immediately started to unlock the door. Jin tried to stop him, but he was to slow Kame had already opened the door.

 

Outside Ueda stood, his head hanging, bag hanging over his shoulder. And when Kame looked closely, smudged make-up on his face. “Ueda, what's wrong?” He asked carefully, lifting a hand and placing it on the older man's shoulder. The man said nothing, he just gave a slight jolt when Kame touched him. The younger man frowned and pulled the older man inside. “Kame?” Jin asked “Well he can't stand out there all night! What would your neighbors think?!” Kame said with force, leading Ueda inside. “I hadn't thought of that” Jin admitted “Of course you haven't” Kame exclaimed as if Jin was an idiot, and at times, he really was.

 

Ueda was lead into the living room and placed on the couch. He still hadn't said a word. Kame sat down next to him, Jin sufficed with sitting in a chair where he could watch the two.

 

“Ueda, what's happened?” Kame asked in a worried tone. Ueda looked at him once before he sighed heavily. “I'm so confused.” He admitted “Jin, you said Ryo had amnesia didn't you? That he'd forgotten everything form the past two months?” Ued asked Jin sounding desperate. Jin straightened up a little before answering “Yeah.” He was serious when he said it and his eyes didn't leave Ueda for a second. Ueda blinked away some tears “I'm so confused.” He said again, but this time his voice was tear-choked.

 

“Ueda, tell us what happened!” Kame said encouragingly. Ueda sniffed a little more before he clenched his fists and told them “When I went back to the dance studio” The other two nodded “Ryo was there. But I think he was surprised that I suddenly appeared so he fell and I got worried so I went over to help him.” He took a deep breath before continuing “and then when I was trying to help him to his feet... he was so close... and he... and he...” Ueda gulped unable to finish the sentence. “What?” Jin said leaning forward “he... he...” Ueda gulped “he kissed me” He said finally

 

The silence that followed was unnerving. Ueda glanced at the other two, who sat quite rigid. “What. The.Hell?” Jin voiced staring at the same spot in space. He shifted his gaze to Ueda who flinched a little at the force in his eyes. “OK. Um. Let's get your make-up off.” Kame said and got to his feet. He guided Ueda to the bathroom and helped Ueda remove his make-up. And when they came out Ueda had a clean face.

 

Kame sat down on the couch heavily, and sighing. “What the heck?” He said “Why would he kiss you if he doesn't remember?” Kame demanded. He glanced at Jin, who flinched “what? You expect me to know?” He retorted leaning forward. Kame frowned at him and said coldly “well, you're his good friend.” The mood was going from bad to worse.

 

“Guys!” Ueda said loudly, raising his hands to stop them “Please don't fight just because of me!” He begged nervously. Jin snorted and leaned back in his chair, arms crossed over his chest. Kame sighed again.

 

“I was just shocked that was all. And I just ran back, gathered my things, changed clothes and just... wandered around until I impulsively came here” Ueda said meekly, bowing his head. “I'm sorry of I disturbed you~” He mumbled in a weak voice. “For some weird reason, I just can't get mad at you!” Jin said, leaning his head back before letting it fall forward so that he could look at the older man. “Geez, don't worry about it!” He said, giving up.

 

“Ne” Kame spoke as he thought of something “Maybe his memories are returning?” Ueda simply looked at him, while as Jin looked thoughtful too before he said energetically “But doesn't that happen all at once? Oh, and don't they say that if you hit a person in the head one more time all their memories will return?!” He said it with a glow as if he was making an excellent point. “Bakanishi, I don't know what manga or what drama you've been watching but THAT is pure fiction.” He sighed “Hitting him once more might cause more damage. It's better to let the memories come back naturally, by themselves.” He said in a determined tone before he got to his feet again.

 

“Anything to drink?” He said “No, I think I should go. I don't want to be a nuisance” Ueda replied “But don't you want to talk mo-?” Jin asked “No” Ueda cut in “Like Kame said, better to let it come to him naturally. Though I don't know what happened, I'll just have to forget it.” He grabbed his bag which he had left over by the door. “I'll go now. See you tomorrow” He said waving goodbye to the two men with a sad look on his face.

 

Once Ueda had left Kame came back with two bottled water, he handed one to Jin before seating himself comfortably on the older man's lap. Jin smiled and wrapped an arm around Kame's thin waist. “What a mess” Kame said, leaning against the older man. “Un.” Jin said “I just don't get what's going on. Ryo and Ueda in a relationship to begin with sounds pretty off to me. And then suddenly all this stuff happened.” He exclaimed “It's almost like a soap opera.” Kame said, chuckling a little as he took another swing of his bottle.

 

Jin put the bottle down and wrapped arms securely around his beloved turtle “I hope something like this never happens to us. I don't even want to think about forgetting you!” He said the last sentence with force and squeezed the younger man.

 

Kame blushed a little “Bakanishi, sometimes you say some really romantic stuff” He said softly. Leaning down so that their lips met in a sweet kiss once. Kame put his bottle down clumsily before he turned so that he was sitting facing Jin. He chuckled slipping his arm around the younger man's neck before pulling him into a kiss.

 

Kame moaned against closed lips, he shuddered as Jin's other hand trailed his back with a feather light touch. Kame weaved his fingers into the older man's hair. Jin broke the kiss to trail Kame's neck, smiling gleefully as the man moaned loudly.

 

Jin slipped his hand down Kame's thigh, feeling how the man twitched. He circled at the knee before going back up again, this time on the inside of the younger man's thigh, Kame groaned expectantly, his body awaiting Jin's touch. The sound of the door bell totally wrecked the mood. Jin snarled angrily. Kame sighed unhappily.

 

Reluctantly Kame climbed off Jin, and excused himself, heading for the bathroom. Jin stared longingly after the man. “Damn it all to- who the hell could it be?” He cursed getting to his feet and stomping to the front door just as the bell rung again.

 

He threw the door open “Ueda, did you forget som-?” Jin stopped dead. It wasn't Ueda standing there “Ryo?”.

 

Jin frowned at the man standing before him. It felt weird since he had been talking about the man just a few moments ago. “Wha-What brings you here?” Jin asked his confusion and surprise apparent. “I need to talk to you... but you seem busy” He said looking Jin up and down.

 

“No, he's not.” Kame said from behind Jin. Both men turned to look at the youngest man. “That was quick” Jin muttered. Kame arched an eyebrow at the man “Well, let's just say the previous activities were efficient.” He said shortly. Jin cheered up a little. “Glad it worked for yah!” He smirked as he said it. Kame rolled his eyes.

 

“Um... on second thought I think it can wait.” Ryo said and stepped away, but Kame was fast. He snagged a hold of Ryo's jacket and pulled him inside. Jin closed the door after him. Hastily Ryo took off his shoes and was pulled by the arm in to the living room. “Sit!” Kame commanded. It was now Kame who occupied the chair opposite the couch, and Jin who sat down next to Ryo.

 

He felt flustered sitting there, he gazed from Kame to Jin. “So... uh” Jin said “Why are you here?” He looked at Ryo who was now only looking at him. “Um. It's about... Ueda” He said carefully, trying to ignore Kame who was paying close attention to their conversation. “Yeah, what about him?” Jin said carefully. Ryo's eyes sharpened. Being a good actor meant having a good eye for when people were acting. And he could tell that Jin was acting – and badly at that.

 

“What do you know?” Ryo asked sharply, squinting at the other. Jin was taken aback and he looked to Kame for help. But the younger man was shaking his head in a “now you've gone and done it”-kind of feeling. Jin gritted his teeth, not knowing what to do he tried to play innocent. But then, before he opened his mouth, he remembered that he actually didn't know anything about what had happened between Ryo and Ueda. He only knew that Ryo had confessed, and that was what triggered the fight between him and Koki. And when Ueda realized his feelings, Ryo had gotten amnesia.

 

Jin felt his heart sink. This really wasn't his story to tell. He sighed before facing Ryo head on. “Ryo, I can't tell you” He said with a determined demeanor. Ryo frowned and seemed upset by the news “why not?!” He demanded. “It's not my story to tell.” He said calmly, not taking his eyes off the other man.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?!” Ryo said loudly. “Ok. Let me tell you the truth. I have no idea what's happened between the two of you! And even if I did I wouldn't tell you since it's actually none of my business! I would never meddle-” Jin was interrupted “But isn't the current situation so that it would be good to tell me what you know?!” Ryo's voice was desperate as he shouted “No! What if- What if you don't like what you hear?” Jin retorted swinging his arms “Ueda plans on never bringing it up, so it's better if you just let it go” Kame so loudly. At Kame's words Ryo felt an odd tightness in his chest, he clutched at the front of his chest as pain spread – and he knew it wasn't due to his fractured ribs.

 

Ryo was very confused, he'd come here expecting to find an answer, but now he was left with more questions. He felt a throbbing head ache starting “Um, I think I'd better go home. Wouldn't want to disturb you guys any further.” He said in a bothered tone. Kame snorted looking away now. Ryo ignored him and said his goodbye to Jin before he marched out.

 

Once Ryo had left, the two men sighed. Jin hadn't moved at all, and sat leaning forward with his hands folded, leaning his head against them. Kame stood up and walked over to him, taking the seat that until now had been occupied by Ryo. He lay his arm around the man, leaned in and kissed him lightly on the cheek “You were really cool just now” Kame said happily with a tender voice. Jin smiled a little, he lay his head against the younger man's shoulder. Sighing again.

 

“We didn't get to do anything~!” He whined, glancing up at Kame. The younger man rolled his eyes, stroking the older man's hair before he said “Well, we have work tomorrow so we couldn't have done much anyway! Now, speaking of work, we should go to sleep.” He said happily getting up and walking towards the bedroom. Jin stared after him, he didn't know what his feelings were at the moment. He couldn't decide whether he was angry, disappointed, frustrated or sad. In other words he was very confused.

 

This really wasn't a good night to be Akanishi Jin.


	9. When We Meet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rehearsals are forcing Ryo and Ueda to spend a lot of time in the same room. With Ryo's eyes on him, Ueda does his best to ignore the man's existence, while as Ryo wants to confront the other.

“Ueda-san, could you move a little to the right?” The dance instructor asked calmly. Ueda twitched, looking at the man before he glanced to the side and saw Ryo looking at him. He fidgeted a little “Sir, I can switch with Ueda!” Koki stood in the row in front of him, his arm raised. The instructor measured the man up and down a few times before he sighed. “You know what, let's take a break. Be back in 15 minutes. And don't let your muscles go cold, keep moving!” The instructor called to everyone before they all feel out of line.

 

Ueda stormed for his water bottle, safely placed on the opposite side of the room from Ryo. He didn't glance back to see, but he could feel eyes on him.

Ryo yawned, he hadn't gotten a lot of good sleep these past few days. At night his dreams were filled with images of things and places he couldn't seem to place. And also Ueda. Ueda showed up in his dreams constantly. But never really in a way that gave Ryo a clue as to how they had gotten familiar.

 

He glared at the older man, who was smiling at that big oaf Taguchi, who was being stupid. Why couldn't Ueda smile at him. Every time he had established eye contact with the man, he looked sad and quickly looked away. He felt annoyed, but he didn't really know why he had this feeling. After all the only thing he remembered about being close, if you could call it that, was being mean to him.

 

He really wanted to interrupt but he knew he couldn't. He hadn't completely lost his mind yet. As he watched, Kame came into his line of sight. What the man had said echoed in his mind “Ueda plans on never bringing it up, so it's better if you just let it go.” The words made his chest squeeze tight. He tore his gaze from Ueda.

 

Jin had been observing the whole time, and felt bad. Both of his friends were miserable. But he didn't know if Ryo could accept that he'd engaged in a relationship with Ueda. He rubbed his temples “Jin, what's wrong?” Kame asked, a worried look on his face. “It's nothing. Guess I'm just fretting over things I can't do anything about.” He said calmly his eyes falling on Ueda. Kame followed his gaze and understood what the man was talking about. “Un. Like you said, it's not our place to meddle.” Kame sounded a little depressed.

 

Jin gazed at him and gestured for Kame to sit down next to him. “It's just. Ueda was so happy when he talked about it. Seeing him suffer from what made him so happy and giddy makes me sad.” Kame confessed also watching Ueda.

 

The two men let their eyes fall on Ryo, who was still watching Ueda's every move. Like a hawk. He didn't seem to notice the two men watching him as he appeared to be thinking hard.

 

Ueda wriggled uncomfortably, he could still feel eyes on him. He carefully glanced in Ryo's direction. He didn't watch for long, the moment he confirmed that Ryo was looking in his direction he looked away, busying himself by going down to check his shoelaces.

 

Ryo kept watching him. He really wanted to try and confront Ueda. He blushed a little as he remembered seeing the man's face up close. He sighed and brought his hand to his face. Covering his mouth with the palm of his hand.

 

During the break period the instructor had talked to Koki about switching places. He'd said it was a no-go due to certain aspects of the choreography. Koki had no other choice than to accept defeat.

 

“OK. Everyone, back into place!” The dance instructor said loudly. With a low buzz everyone went back to the floor, standing just as they had done.

 

***

 

Once the day was over everyone went their own ways, well all except Akame and most of the Jrs. The younger ones seemed unnerved by the prospect of wandering around the building alone, and that was actually very understandable really, who'd want to wander about and suddenly meet someone who was a sempai in the company?

 

Ueda wrapped his arms around himself. The nights were growing colder now, he shuddered a little as a cold breeze pierced his jacket. Though it wasn't just the temperature making him freeze. He'd stalled leaving for as long as possible. But it seemed Ryo had been about everywhere he went. He really didn't want to face the man right now. Seeing him in rehearsals was bad enough.

 

Ueda sighed. How much longer could he take it? That odd feeling of hopelessness came over him once more and he sighed yet again before walking slowly to his car.

 

***

Ryo slammed the door of his apartment shut. He took his shoes off and walked inside, throwing his bag over the couch. “Damn it!” Ryo cussed throwing himself down in a chair. He looked about, but no matter what he couldn't sit still.

 

He jumped to his feet, stomped towards the kitchen. He opened the cabinet and stared at the bottle of whiskey. Normally he didn't drink it, he just kept it for guests. He yanked it out and placed it on the table with a loud thud, he rummaged his cabinet for a glass. He found one and walked back to the table, pulling out a chair and sitting down. He poured some of the liquid into the glass.

 

He played with the glass, making the liquid swirl in the glass. He looked at it. In honest truth he didn't want to drink, but his frustration was too much for him.

 

He put the glass down and sighed deeply. He got to his feet, he walked back into the living room leaving the bottle behind. Holding the glass between his fingertips he sat down in the chair again, throwing his feet up on the table. He sank down in his seat, a frown on his face.

 

“Damn it!” He said again, kicking the table a little. He brought his hand to his face, massaging between his eyes. He didn't understand anything. What was it about Ueda? Why had he kissed Ueda? He played the scene over and over again, seeing the man's face up close. His heart was racing. He clutched his hand to his chest, right above his heart.

 

He really couldn't put words on his feelings right now. They were so mixed and buzzing around inside him. He raised the glass to his lips, feeling the coarse heat in his throat. He groaned lightly. He just wanted to sleep. He wanted to relax. He put the glass down and got up again. His restlessness adding to his frustration.

 

He walked over to his bedroom. Closing the door, he walked over to the bedside table and switched on the light. He sat down on the bed, he clasped his hands together, bringing his hands to his forehead. “I want to remember. I want to know. I want to remember!” He said loudly to himself, but he felt like crying. He felt the hotness in his eyes as the tears threatened to appear. He fell back onto the bed, hands stretched above his head. He closed his eyes...

 

He stood, quite still. It was dark and he couldn't see anything. “What the hell is going on?” He asked, but no answer came form the darkness. He looked around. A figure appeared out of the darkness.

 

Ueda stood there before him. A warm gaze locked on him. Ryo felt his heart accelerate a little as he looked into Ueda's eyes. Ueda came a little closer, Ryo couldn't help but thinking the man was beautiful. Ueda started talking, his lips were moving and Ryo could tell that, that was what he was doing. But he couldn't hear a thing.

 

Ueda kept talking, but suddenly that warm look in his eyes turned sad. Ryo felt himself frown and he wanted to pull him into his arms to stop the man's tears.

 

Suddenly, Ryo saw a pale figure appear behind Ueda. He squinted his eyes and as he did the figure became clearer. He watched as the man came up right behind Ueda and was shocked to stare into his own eyes.

 

Ryo blinked, his other self sneered at him wrapping his arms around Ueda. Ryo couldn't tear his eyes way from the scene. He watched as he wrapped his arms tightly around the older man's waist and the small twitch that went through Ueda's body.

 

He watched as his hands traveled over Ueda's body. Roaming all over, one hand going up to caress the neck while the other went down, and up-and-under the older man's clothes. Ryo gulped. Ueda seemed to tilt his head back and moan, and as Ryo's other self pressed his lips to the older man's neck.

 

He blinked at the ceiling, he sat up inhaling sharply. The dream still fresh in mind he frowned in shock. Now he was extremely confused, what did that dream mean? A sudden powerful headache seemed like it wanted to split his scull in two. He groaned loudly and got out of his bed, heading to the kitchen.

 

He filled a glass with water before he found some painkillers that he quickly threw into his mouth, bringing the glass to his lips and gulping them down with water. The cold water flowed over the edges and down his chin. Putting the glass down he wiped his mouth and chin, he glanced at the watch. 05:45 am. He groaned. He was going to get up in a little while anyway, so he wandered into the living room and sat down massaging his temples.

 

“What the hell was that all about?” He blushed clasping his hand over his mouth, feeling an odd sense of arousal filling him. Seeing Ueda in his mind, tilting his head back, hands roaming the older man's body. He groaned, getting to his feet in one swift move.

 

He walked to the bathroom to take a shower, deciding that he'd have breakfast somewhere before going to work. The shower calmed his mind and cooled down his body. Once he was out he quickly fixed himself up a little found some clothes and changed the contents of the bag he'd just left on the couch.

 

With a sigh he stood before the door for a short while before he left the apartment.

 

***

 

Ueda stood at the entrance to the building absentmindedly. Lots of people had passed him, looking at him with curiosity. He payed them no thought as he stood with his head hanging. He really didn't want to go in. These past few days were tearing at his health condition and mental health. One moment Ryo has forgotten everything, and avoiding him like he used to. But suddenly the younger man kissed him, sending the older man's mind into a storm of confusion mixed with emotions and thoughts.

 

Ueda blushed at the thought of the younger man's lips on his. Subconsciously he lifted his hand to his lips and touched them lightly. He sighed yet again. He'd lost track of how many times he'd sighed lately, but he knew it was a lot. And he knew it bothered and worried the people around him. The thought made him sigh again. He frowned looking up to gaze at his won reflection. He looked tired and slightly out of it. He lowered his gaze again, staring at his feet solemnly.

 

“Uepi?” Taguchi lay a hand on Ueda's shoulder, shocking the man out of his absentminded state. “Ueda, are you alright?” The man ask, his tone was worried and Ueda really didn't want to worry the happy man. Taguchi was very much the life of the room. He was always bright and happy. Well, except for when he was playing his video games.

 

Ueda decided then and there to stick to the younger man for the day. Hopefully he would keep people a little away and still keep Ueda in good spirits. He walked in together with Taguchi and together they strolled along. It was a while until rehearsals started anyway so they took their time to get to the locker rooms.

 

When they came inside the door, Ueda looked around nervously while as Taguchi simply walked in. He stopped when he noticed Ueda wasn't with him. He glanced back to see Ueda half-way through the door, leaning forward and looking around. “Uepi? What are you doing?” Taguchi frowned at Ueda who snapped to attention at stared at the younger man with big eyes.

 

He straightened up and walked towards him, stopping right next to him; his face was odd and stiff as he lied “I'm fine. Just looking around” followed by a very fake laughter before he headed towards and empty locker. He quickly changed his clothes, throwing everything else in to the locker and closing it securely.

 

Taguchi couldn't help but pay attention to Ueda, who was moving around in an odd fashion as if on guard. Everyone else in the room were calm and chatting happily to one another, taking their time to change. But Ueda was weary and on edge. Taguchi felt worried for his friend and once he'd gotten his clothes on he would get Ueda something to calm him down.

 

“Uepi, come on!” He said happily, putting an arm around the older man's shoulder and pulling him along. Once outside they went to a vending machine where Taguchi got Ueda some juice. “Uepi, are you sure you're alright? You don't look so good.” Taguchi said looking at the older man who was sitting next to him on the bench. Ueda shook his head not looking at him, so Taguchi wasn't convinced.

 

After having tried a few more times Taguchi realized that he couldn't get anything out of him, and gave up. So he went over to mindless smalltalk. The idiocy of the conversation, if you could call it that, made Ueda smile a little and lighten his mood significantly.

 

They returned to the studio just before the rehearsal began. Kame stood against the wall and when he saw Ueda he pushed himself out from it and came towards the two. “Ueda, are you alright?” He asked placing a hand on Ueda's shoulder. “Yeah, I guess.” Kame also interpreted an I'll-get-over-it sense in the man's voice. He sighed, patting Ueda on the shoulder hard. “You'd better!” Kame said with a smile which Ueda returned. Just then the instructor came out and called everyone in.

 

***

 

Ryo watched as the flock of people came wandering in through the doors. His eyes searching the crowd, impatiently. He stood against the wall, his arms crossed over his chest, a cold air about him.

 

He spotted the tall Taguchi, smiling like a child and towering over most of the people around him, after him came Kame who was followed by the one he'd been waiting for. Ueda was talking to Kame, as he watched a frown grew apparent on his face: Ueda didn't look well. Not only did he look tired but also a little pale and his aura subdued.

 

Ryo stood up straight, continuing to follow the older man. But before Ryo could think the instructor called everyone to the floor.

 

The music was low as the instructor went through the choreography, but Ryo wasn't paying attention at all. His eyes were only for Ueda, and he barely noticed when one of the Jr's knocked lightly into him; the boy looked up to see who he'd bumped into and gave a small squee before he took two large steps backward and bowed deeply before he scurried away. Ryo hadn't even noticed and blinked when he saw people looking at him. When he looked back they all looked away. He sighed yet again and continued following the instructor.

 

The first period of today's rehearsal was over, it was now lunch time, and Ryo had decided to attempt to talk to Ueda. He felt his heart pick up pace as he walked towards the man. He gulped hard and felt his body go rigid as he came closer. But only a few feet away he was intercepted by KoyaShige who wanted him to come to lunch with them. Trying to say no to them was impossible or else they kept whining about it for weeks. He sighed, ruffling his hair before he agreed.

He looked back at Ueda, who was stationary between Taguchi and Kame. He noticed Koki in the background, he felt a weird tightness in his chest and scowled – scaring some more Jr's.

 

***

Ueda sighed, he'd seen Ryo being dragged out of the room by Koyama and Shige. He felt slightly relieved and let his shoulder's sink a little. “Ueda you look off!” Jin said sitting down next to Kame who was sitting opposite Ueda. With no discretion Kame elbowed his boyfriend, making him give out a muffled “ouch!” As he clutched his side. Kame hissed through his teeth “We can all see that, so no need to mention it!” Before he fastened his gaze on Ueda who had gone a little paler “I'm sorry” Ueda mumbled “No ned to apologize, it's just Bakanishi!” Kame said with a small smile.

 

Koki was the only one missing from the group. He was entertaining some Jr's over on the other side of the room. Ueda sighed as he watched the man break-dance with them. He appreciated being liked by the man, he did. He didn't want to loose his friendship with Koki, he was a good friend. But Koki wanted more form him, and that was impossible; for it wasn't Koki's affections that he wanted.

 

He sighed again, stopping his train of thought before it brought him dangerously close to the edge.

 

***

Ryo had managed to loose KoyaShige and was back inside the building, he wrenched his cellphone from his pocket and started looking through his contacts. He found the one he wanted and pressed call as he marched.

 

When he arrived Jin was waiting outside the door for him. Ryo stalked right past and Jin followed, dragging his feet. Once out of earshot he started talking hurriedly “I want to talk to Ueda!” He said in a determined tone. Jin sighed and shook his head. “I can't do that. He doesn't seem wel-” - “I noticed!” Ryo barked stepping towards Jin. “Well I can't help but notice when the man looks like he's been dumped by the love of his life!?” Ryo bellowed at Jin, who seemed quite shocked as he stared at Ryo before he stepped down.

 

“What was that?” Ryo asked fixing keen little eyes on Jin. “No. Nothing” Jin stuttered as he stepped back a little more “Did I hit the nail on the head?” Ryo asked baffled following Jin. Jin backed away from Ryo before he knocked into someone. Jin looked around to see Yamapi standing behind him. “Ah, Pi!” Jin said relaxing a little. Ryo's eyes were angry and cold, he hissed and pushed his way past the two men.

 

“What's going on?” Pi asked looking after Ryo. “Uh, it's nothing. Just a small dispute. Ryo wanted to talk about Ueda” Jin said calmly, there was no point not telling Pi since he was their mutual friend. “About Ueda?” Pi repeated confused. “I mean I know he was looking a little weird, but why would Ryo ask you about Ueda. “Um” Jin hesitated, making Pi frown “Does this have anything to do with Ryo's amnesia?” He asked “you knew?” Jin said looking at his friend.

 

“Think I was the first he told.” Pi said “That day when I, Koyama and Shige visited the hospital he told me while the other two were buying drinks and snacks.” Pi looked at Jin when the older man hadn't spoken for a little while “um” he frowned looking in the direction that Ryo had left in before he looked back at Jin “it's just that before his amnesia, I noticed that during breaks he was reading magazine interviews with you guys. I just thought he was looking through your bits to see if you'd said something stupid” Jin interrupted “huh? Does he do that?” Pi smirked “All the time. But I noticed that he was intently reading Ueda's parts. At the time it didn't make sense at all. But once when I got my hands on his mobile, though I usually don't stick my nose where it doesn't belong, he'd just been smiling like a goofy idiot at the screen before just putting it down.” He paused “When I picked it up to see what he was looking at I saw that it was password protected. Ryo isn't as smart as he looks, so figuring out his password was a piece of cake.” He frowned before he continued “It was a picture of Ueda sleeping. It looked like he'd taken it himself, and I don't think bed covers count as clothing.”

 

Jin gawked at his friend. “And there were more pictures and if I could guess probably a lot of messages.” Pi added. “And if he created the passwords before he got amnesia and within the period of the time he has forgotten, Ryo doesn't know any of them.” Jin concluded looking wildly around in thought. “Hm, seems so.” Pi said bringing his hand to his chin in one elegant gesture.

 

“Jin, there you are” Kame came around the corner “we're starting again. Hi, Pi.” He said giving a small wave to the man. Pi gave a nod, balancing on the balls of his feet. “What are you talking about?” He asked linking his arm with Jin's. Pi didn't really care about it. He wouldn't lie if he said he wasn't a little surprised when Jin had said he needed to talk to him and brought Kame a long to tell him that they were dating.

 

“Um, we should go” Kame said meekly pulling Jin towards the rehearsal room. Pi followed them, keeping a slight distance between them. He was lost in thought as he walked blindly after the couple. “Kazu, I wanna tell you something later” Jin said in a low voice leaning in close to Kame's ear. Being that close he got a good whiff of the younger man, he chuckled and leaned in to nuzzle his nose in behind Kame's ear, puckering his lips and kissing Kame. The younger man blushed and pushed Jin away, giving the man a shy look. Jin's eyes grew predatory and he sneered, following closely behind Kame.

 

Once inside Akame stalked over to the rest of KAT-TUN, while Pi found himself corned by Ryo. Squinted eyes locked on him, Pi tried to look away, but Ryo wouldn't let the man go – blocking Pi's way with his arms. “What did you talk about after I left?” He hissed, dark eyes studying his every move.

 

Pi gulped and backed into the wall “Nothing in particular” Pi said trying his best not to seem guilty. Ryo sneered “Did you honestly think I was gonna fall fro that?” Ryo said taking another step closer to Pi. Pi was just about to say something when the dance instructor called out to everyone to say that they had to get back to practice.

 

Ryo was reluctant to let the man go, but after thinking a little he understood that causing a scene was a bad idea. He sighed, he felt as if he kept meeting these sorts of problems. He ruffled his hair and sighed deeply, glancing over at Ueda. He got back into place, not letting Ueda disappear from his sight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Due to a family vacation I won't be able to update until next week. That means you'll get both the final chapter and the epilogue at the same time! :D


	10. Final

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> N/A

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This thing is looong!!

The low buzz of the club outside the private room was the only thing that could be heard in the room. The three men sat silently, one of them shifting his hard gaze from one to the other. Pi felt anxious as he glanced sideways at Jin, who was sitting next to him. Stiffly Jin reached out to his glass of beer and carefully, almost like in slow-motion, he raised the glass to his lips.

Pi was nervously gripping his knees as he momentarily made eye contact with the man sitting opposite. Ryo hadn't touched his drink at all, he'd been staring at Jin and Pi. Once rehearsals were over for the day Ryo had grabbed both of them and pulled them along to grab a taxi. After a long silent taxi ride, they'd arrived at this club where the owner had brought them into this private room, taken their orders, then left. A few moments later one of the waitresses had arrived with the drinks.

She was slightly shocked to see who was in the room, and blushed as came in, but quickly got a feel of the atmosphere, and awkwardly served them before she left the room.

Ryo cleared his throat and the two men gave and odd twitch. “When I left” He said, clearly getting straight to the point, “what did you talk about?” He fixed his eyes on them in turn. “Not about anything in particular” Jin said, avoiding to look at Ryo. Ryo sneered “There you go again, do you think I'm stupid?!” he exclaimed banging his fist on the table, making the contents of the glasses slosh over. “Tell me!” He continued his voice going from angry to depressed “I know! I know that you know something!” He said kneading his hands together and looking at the two.

Jin and Pi exchanged looks, they couldn't possibly tell the man anything. “Ryo, there's nothing we can tell you without the risk of hurting you and others” Pi explained hoping Ryo would understand. But it appeared that the man's desperate need for knowledge was overrunning his reason. Ryo was staring intently at the pair, his hands clenched as he waited for their answer.

“Jin, Pi. You need to tell me something!” Ryo demanded, leaning in closer to the two men. “Um...” Pi said looking at Jin before looking back to Ryo. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath “it seems like you've been spending some private time with Ueda. But we don't know why or for when it started” Pi confessed Ryo seemed to gulp and lean in a little closer.

“Actually” Jin continued “it seemed like you'd become very important to one another.” He uncertainly glanced at Ryo, who seemed to be thinking hard. The dream he'd had seemed to be on repeat in his mind. It couldn't be, or could it? His mind was racing and he wasn't sure what to do. He felt flustered and breathing was a little difficult.

Before the two men could do or say anything, Ryo jumped to his feet, his eyes darting wildly about the room. “Ryo wha-?” But Ryo cut in “I have to go” Before he scurried from the room, leaving Jin and Pi in a very confused state.

“He couldn't possible have remembered?” Jin asked Pi looking after Ryo “I strongly doubt it. He still looked confused, not enlightened.” Pi said leaning forward also looking in the direction that Ryo had disappeared in.

“I have a strong feeling that a storm is coming” Jin said lifting his beer to his lips again “Hm? Making predictions and following your intuition, how empathic of you” Pi sneered “Kamenashi has been a good influence on you I see.” He sniggered also taking a sip of his drink. “Maybe I should get myself a lover too.” Pi said twisting his wrist so that the glasses content started gently swirling.

He looked at Jin with a cunning look, making the older man frown “You stay away from my Kazu!” Jin said loudly pointing at Pi with his free hand, but his abrupt movement made the beer slosh over; some of it dripping down over his hand.

“Relax Bakanishi. I'm not into the girly type.” Pi said drinking a little from the glass before he continued “No. Taguchi-kun is more down my lane.” He said in a carefree way, setting his glass down with a low thud as it hit the table surface. Jin frowned at his friend.

“Hi-His jokes are seriously lame you know!” Jin said stuttering a little as he looked at his friend in disbelief. “What are you saying, Bakanishi? That only makes him cuter!” Pi said and sniggered happily at his friends confusion. He looked down at his drink, still feeling Jin's eyes on him.

A sudden idea came to mind, and he turned to look Jin up and down, studying him. “Hm, but to be quite honest with you, you're not so bad yourself” Pi chuckled, leaning in and kissing Jin on the cheek before he got up and said “See you at rehearsals tomorrow” And left waving dramatically.

Jin sat there frozen, after a few seconds he came to and lifted his beer to his lips and chugged it down before he also left, leaving a note on the table as payment before he scurried out the door.

 

***

Ueda frowned at his own reflection in the mirror. Coach had sent him to train jump-rope and shadowboxing, all things that didn't involve a partner. He was totally out of it and coach thought it was reckless of him to send Ueda into the ring. He might get seriously hurt.

His body drenched in sweat he saw the beginning of bags under his eyes and his pale face. He'd thought a round at the gym would help, but his lack of energy was seriously affecting his performance. He sat down on a bench and threw back some water, leaning back against the wall.

He didn't notice that one of the club sempai sat down next to him. Ueda gave a start when he saw the man out of the corner of his eye. “Ueda-kun, has anyone ever told you that you look like a girl?” He said without really looking at him.

Ueda felt annoyed “Yes, they have.” He replied coldly. The man laughed through his nose and looked at him, Ueda quickly averted his gaze and stared fixedly at his feet. “You know, I've thought for a while now that you're really pretty. And I've always been... curious.” He said the last part in a really disgusting way and Ueda felt a mild shiver go down his spine.

But suddenly the shiver increased by a tenfold as the man put his hand on Ueda's shoulder, and let it slide down his back, caressing his skin. Ueda reacted impulsively and shoved the man away, so hard that he toppled off the bench and Ueda stood up feeling disgusted.

“Don't EVER touch me again!” He yelled and grabbed his gear and left. He didn't bother saying goodbye or anything he was so angry.

Once he got out into his car and calmed down a little he realized something. In the past he'd been so willing in accepting those kinds of approaches. His stomach coiled at the thought of hands on him. He felt disgusting.

He hid his face in his arms which he was leaning against the steering wheel. He sniffed as the thought struck him: He didn't want anyone else than Ryo to touch him. He just wanted to be with Ryo. He was thankful that his car was parked in a badly lit place as the frantic sobbing came, and hot tears streaked down his face. Dripping from his cheeks and onto his thighs as he shuddered with every cry. Painful. Painful. Hurt. He gripped his arms tightly, the painful feeling of crushing his own arm, nails digging into his skin so that it bled, didn't compare to the pain in his chest.

He didn't know how he got home. But suddenly he was standing inside his apartment, his bag dangling off his shoulder before it gently slid down and onto the floor. Ueda sank down, his back against the door.

Suddenly he fell backwards, lying on his back looking upwards “Uepi! What are you doing?” Taguchi asked, towering far above him. “Taguchi, is he home?” Kame came clear of the corner. He stopped for a moment taking in the odd scene of Taguchi standing the door in hand, and Ueda lying on the floor.

“What on earth?” He said a slight laugh in his voice. Kame's voice had become rather soothing for Ueda, being able to confine in the man made Ueda relax a little when he saw Kame coming towards him.

Taguchi helped Ueda to his feet and they all went inside. Only when Kame closed the door and turned the lights on did Ueda notice the bag hanging over the man's wrist. “What's that?” Ueda pointed a the bag “Cheer-up supply!” Kame said happily waving the bag around. Ueda arched an eyebrow at him, but Kame just smiled at him, taking off his shoes and shooing the oldest man inside.

Taguchi followed silently, as always, a big smile plastered over his face. Kame steered Ueda onto the couch before he sat down on the floor next to it and started pulling beer can's out of the bag. He tossed one over to Taguchi, who caught it with ease, before he handed one to Ueda.

He opened his own just as Taguchi did. Ueda stared skeptically at the two who brought the can's to their lips and took a gulp of beer. Kame looked at him “Aren't you going to drink?” He said raising his can to Ueda “Um... I... dunno” The older man replied “He'll come around” Taguchi said happily. “You wouldn't leave us drinking alone when we came to cheer you up, now would you?” The tall man continued beaming at Ueda.

The man was contagious, not soon after Ueda was laughing along with Kame at Taguchi's lame jokes, and he laughed even harder when Kame made fun of Taguchi, making the man pout. Together they'd consumed all the beer that Kame had brought, the table was now occupied by many empty cans. “I'll go bu'summore” Taguchi said and got to his feet.

Ueda giggled as he watched the man leave, wobbling a little. The door slammed shut and he was alone with Kame, who downed the last of his beer before he placed it on the table. Suddenly Kame hoisted himself up onto the couch next to Ueda.

Suddenly a thought struck Ueda “Kame, what about Jin?” He asked, looking at the younger man. Kame tilted his head back and looked at him “I dunno. I turned off my phone” He then fished it out and opened it, and as he was turning it on he mumbled “He's probably pissed” feeling Ueda's eyes on him he looked up to see the others worry “But we didn't have any plans for tonight.” He said sharply.

“Ah!” he said lightly as the screen lit up. “He's tried to call me lots of times. Messages too~” Kame drawled and started reading them. Ueda peered at the other, he couldn't help but feel a little jealous of Jin and Kame's relationship. Ueda felt the pain well again, he brought his knees up to his chest and buried half his face.

“Why did it have to happen?” Ueda asked to no one in particular. Kame who was busy answering a message from Jin didn't seem to notice. “Why did Ryo have to loose his memories?” Kame looked up to see only half of Ueda's face, and he could see the tears flowing from Ueda's eyes.

Kame put his cellphone down and wrapped an arm around Ueda. The hug wasn't awkward, actually it was pretty much what Ueda needed right now. “Thank you.” He said meekly into Kame's shoulder. The younger man chuckled lightly and squeezed him tight.

“Kazu~!!” The eruption filled the air like a gunshot, and Jin's whiny voice from the door. The two men broke apart to look at the man. His eyes transfixed “Now don't you go assu-” Kame said hurriedly but Jin started “Kazu! Why are you hugging Ueda. Why are you hugging him!?” Jin wailed “Why didn't you pick up? I tried to call you so many times!” He continued close to tears as his childlike behavior continued.

Kame sighed, getting off the couch and with determined strides made his way to Jin. “Bakanishi. I didn't think you could get even more stupid.” Before he wrapped his arms around Jin's neck, pulling the man forward and crushing their lips together. It didn't take Jin long to warp his arms around Kame's waist, pulling him closer and the two engaged in a fierce battle of tongues.

A sudden thud and the sound of bags crackling caught Ueda's attention and he gazed beyond Akame to see Taguchi standing behind them, eyes big as plates and his mouth hanging open. And Ueda couldn't help but think that Taguchi was the only one dense enough not to have noticed them.

The couple didn't pay him any mind and just continued their wild, and annoying make-out session.

“Talk about support~!” Ueda mumbled darkly. He stood up and wandered past the couple clinging to one another, to Taguchi where he bent down and grabbed the bag and the sleeve of Taguchi's sweater, pulling him past Akame and into the living room. He forced him into a chair, dug his hand into the bag and fished out a can which he handed to the still shocked man.

Taguchi managed to collect himself somewhat and pointed in the couples direction, mouthing something. Ueda looked at him with the over obvious air of I-knew-about-this-and-I-don't-really-care-even-if-it's-bloody-annoying-!, he opened another beer and started to chug. Taguchi still staring at him.

The sounds from the couple were growing louder and louder, and Taguchi was growing more and more embarrassed. Ueda had had enough “Oi! Show some compassion would you?!” He yelled. The frantic make-out session ended abruptly, the pair sliding apart in an embarrassed manor.

Silently they came over to the couch and Jin seated himself in the chair with Kame at his feet. Ueda stared angrily at them “Sorry” The two men said with bowed heads. Ueda sighed and grabbed two beers, throwing it at them. Suddenly Jin caught the sight of Taguchi's red face “oh, sorry man.” He said, unable to look at the man. “What a way to be told!” Ueda chuckled sarcastically. Which made Akame bow their heads, embarrassed yet again.

After a few moments of almost complete silence Jin cleared his throat. “So, uh... why are you guys here... drinking?” He said playing with Kame's hair “I was ordered to come help cheer Uepi up.” Taguchi answered still a little awkward.

“Yeah, it was my idea, and you were gonna go out to drink with Yamashita and... that guy” Kame said “That guy?” Taguchi asked “Wasn't it Ryo?” He asked innocently. Ueda went rather pale and felt an odd shudder go through him. He knew Kame had tried to be careful about it, but he couldn't blame Taguchi since he didn't know.

“Yeah, OK. Um... he was acting rather odd. Like more than he has been.” Jin said “What do you mean?” Kame said “Un, one minute he was asking us all these questions. Trying to get me and Pi to talk and then suddenly he jumped to his feet and disappeared.” Jin said waving his arms. Everyone frowned. “Jin is that really true?” Kame asked. The youngest man shifted his gaze to Ueda who was being very attentive.

“What did he ask? What did you answer?!” Ueda shot at Jin, who was taken aback by the man's sudden aggressiveness. “Um I just told him that it seemed like you'd become close. And after that he got this weird look on his face before he suddenly left.” Jin said carefully. Ueda looked at him with big eyes.

Kame sighed and elbowed Jin's leg. Making him yelp in pain “Ueda” Kame said calmly “I don't think getting your hopes up is any good.” Ueda quickly answered “Yeah, I know. I gotta forget. Wouldn't it be nice if I also got amnesia and just forgot it” his voice started to break “ever.ha-happened” He sniffed loudly and buried his face in his hands.

“Huh? Why does it seem like I've missed a lot?” Taguchi asked looking from the crying Ueda to Kame and Jin. “Now's not the time. And it's not the sort of thing that everyone knows” Jin said calmly. Taguchi frowned looking at Ueda again. Kame got to his feet and sat down next to the oldest man again, wrapping an arm around him.

 

A couple of hours later Kame, Jin and Taguchi left. They brought the cans with them. At the door Kame had lingered a little “Ueda, please don't be so down. You have to move on with your life.” Ueda looked at him “Yeah, I know. I know, you're absolutely right. But still, thank you, for everything.” He gave an awkward smile as he gave Kame a final hug. “I'll see you tomorrow then. Sleep well” He said humorously. Kame laughed “you bet. If that idiot tries anything, he can find himself sleeping on the couch for a week... or more.” He said with a grin. Ueda chuckled “At least you can laugh” Kame said tenderly. “Take care. Good night” He said as he moved to the elevator “'Night!” Ueda called before he closed the door.

Not long after that he had taken a shower and was well adjusted in his bed. He was very tired, being so sad made him tired, so he fell asleep pretty much straight away. Not thinking anything about the next day, not knowing anything about what was going on or what was going to happen.

 

***

“Morning” Taguchi called happily over the head of some Jrs, who scurried out of his way like mice, bowing there heads, and greeting with a muffled sound. Taguchi beamed at them “Mah, you guys are so cute!” He said happily. The Jr's blushed a little, saying “thank you!” Before they scattered completely.

“Get outta my way, you shotacon!” Someone growled behind Taguchi, who turned to look down at Ryo. The man looked scruffy, a cap pulled down over his face and a large pair of sunglasses covering most of it, a big mug of steaming coffee in his hand. “Oh, sorry” Was all the taller man could say as he stepped aside for Ryo. He'd been quite shocked to find the man behind him, seeing as what he'd been told last night. But he was under strict orders from Akame not to tell anyone.

But once he knew everything started to make sense. Not just why Ueda was tired and distant but also Akame and many other things had fallen into place, especially about Koki. At some point during the conversation Koki had been mentioned, and by simply listening and observing he pretty much figured out what the whole deal was.

He was very surprised that Ueda and Ryo had started some form of relationship, especially since the two hardly ever met. He frowned and took his long steps towards the dance studio, completely lost in thought.

So lost in fact that he walked right into one of the people he was thinking about. Ueda stumbled backwards, looking up at Taguchi, who couldn't help but notice that he looked if not more exhausted than yesterday. “Ah, Uepi I'm sorry. I didn't see you there I was so off...” - “In your own little world?” Ueda continued. Taguchi nodded. “Are you alright? You don't look too good?” He asked leaning down to observe some more “un, just getting away from...” He glanced back into the dance studio as his voice trailed off. Without any explanation Taguchi understood who Ueda was referring to.

He sighed, but smiled softly at the older man who gazed into the man's oddly empathic eyes. “Wow, now you really look like a dog.” Ueda said in a dark bemused voice. He started poking the man as if playing with him, sending Taguchi jerking around on the corridor.

“What the hell?” They stopped when the gangster came walking up behind them. “Playing around without me. How cold.” He said in a falsely depressed tone. He came closer, walking like he always did, putting an arm around Ueda's shoulder.

The gesture made Ueda shudder as he felt Koki grip his shoulder lightly. He pulled himself free of the younger man's grip, stepping away. Taguchi frowned, he was getting a lot of weird signals from the two. Normally he was pretty dense about this sort of thing, but now he seemed to be over sensitive. Ueda was giving out mixed signals of fear, annoyance and strong dislike mixed with another weird emotion that he couldn't pinpoint. Koki on the other hand was giving off a strong dominating feeling mixed with a weird emotion that he didn't recognize, but it seemed a lot like lust and desire.

Even Taguchi took a step back, away from Koki, who smirked at the two “Aren't you going in?” He asked calmly pointing at the door with his thumb. “Un, we're coming. We just gotta go... to the vending machine” Taguchi blurted out. “What are you? Women?” Koki said a little amused. Ueda glared at him “No. Both of us just happened to be going at the same time.” He said harshly not looking away. “Fine” Koki said, his hands up as if surrendering, sneering at them before he went into the studio.

Ueda breathed a sigh before he turned “Um, is he still...?” Taguchi asked, he had been told most of the story yesterday after all. Ueda closed his eyes “It seems that way” He said softly opening his eyes and started moving down the corridor. “Where are you going?” Taguchi asked without thinking “Stupid, we told him we were going to the vending machine. Normally I wouldn't feel obliged to follow such a lie, but I suddenly got thirsty thinking about it.” He said calmly, his hands in his pockets “Oh yeah, can you lend me? I didn't bring my wallet with me.” He said a weird smile on his face as he looked back at the younger man over his shoulder. “Yeah, sure.” Taguchi said running up to him, and together they made their way to the vending machine.

**************

Ueda stood loitering by the door. Akame had already left, they'd made some plans a while ago that they couldn't reschedule. Taguchi had also left in a rush and he'd seen Nakamaru walking to the locker rooms with Koki trailing slowly behind him.

Ueda had spent most of today's rehearsal trying to keep away from Ryo. The man stirred his heart too easily. He was growing tired just thinking about it. He just wanted to forget already, he sighed slowly making his way to the locker rooms.

When he came in he saw no one. Feeling overly relieved he went to his locker and found some of his stuff. He pulled off his jacket and placed it on the bench. He grabbed his towel and shampoo and went towards the showers, it took him a while in his relaxed state to register that a shower was running, and that someone was in there.

And as he hesitated at the door in to the showers “Ueda!” Koki yelled from behind him. Ueda received a shock and he spun on his heels. Koki was marching towards him. Ueda watched the man's gleeful expression turn wicked, and he stopped just short of him, but he had no idea why “You really have impeccable timing!” He spat. Ueda saw that Koki's eyes weren't locked on him, and only then did he realize that someone was standing behind him in the opening to the shower room.

And the moment he felt that hot gaze travel over him, he knew who it was.

Ryo stared at Koki, who was wearing such a mocking expression that it was making him sick. He saw that Ueda stood petrified between them and as he watched that lean back, he could almost make out the rigid muscles underneath the man's shirt.

“Taking a shower this late, when everyone's left.” Koki said teasingly “Maybe you were waiting for someone?” He said taking a few steps closer so that, if he reached out, he could touch Ueda. Ryo stared at the man, he didn't understand why, but he was really pissing him off. Maybe it was the reason he'd fought with the man, and maybe, just maybe it had something to do with him and Ueda.

Koki gave an evil chuckle. He took another step closer to the petrified Ueda, who was looking paler and paler by the minute. Ryo braced himself, but Koki cut in before him “Just let me tell you. This guy” He said indicating Ueda “is mine you see” He smirked happily. He looked like a devil and he snatched Ueda's hand bringing it up possessively.

Ueda somehow found his voice “There's no point saying that” His voice was shaky “Koki, he doesn't remember. Anything” His voice lost it's strength and he hung his head. “Yeah, I've got amnesia” Ryo supplemented “Really now, I thought the sudden coldness was a bit odd. Heh! So that means I've got a new chance.” Koki concluded giving Ryo a victorious look.

Ryo couldn't tear his eyes away from Koki's hand gently rubbing Ueda's. He wanted to tear the two apart for some reason. Was it because he was disgusted with it, but that wasn't the emotion he was feeling. No, this was something else. His head started throbbing a little as he wrecked his mind and body trying to figure out what he was feeling.

“But he's been watching you?” Koki said with a slightly puzzled look. “He must have heard it from someone.” Ueda said in a low voice. Ryo wanted to cut in, but whatever was going through his mind, was lost before it reached his lips.

Ueda struggled with his emotions. Koki in front of him and Ryo behind him, his mind was a wreck and his emotions were like a typhoon. He turned halfway round and glanced at Ryo, who's face was unreadable. To Koki who was determined.

Ueda didn't think he could take this heartache anymore, the one he'd desperately trying to keep at bay. His defense was crumbling so he gulped hard, thinking fast, heart pounding hard in his chest.

Koki sneered, as if he could tell what the oldest man was thinking he said “He won't ever.” Ueda gasped and stared at the man wide eyed “Never again” - “will he love me” Ueda finished in his mind. He bit down hard on his lower lip, fighting back the tears. Koki smirked victoriously as Ueda began to shiver.

Koki glared at Ryo “So don't get any ideas.” He chuckled “Like I said, he's mine. Not yours” Before he took a good hold of Ueda and dragged him to the door. Ueda was so out of it he didn't try to stop what was happening – letting himself be pulled along by Koki.

He didn't even spare Ryo one last glance as he was pulled by the victorious man who was chuckling evilly.

Once they'd cleared the door and were out of sight, Ryo stood rooted to the spot. He couldn't move and it seemed as of his heart was had stopped along with his breathing. He could only hear; hear the sound of a shower that had been left running.

He blinked once, then suddenly it seemed like a floodgate had opened: Images, words, thoughts, sounds and emotions, all packed into a tidal wave of memories, washed over him.

Ueda looking at him, eyes filled with tears as he clung to Ryo, fingers digging into his skin. The sound of the older man moaning his name as he tossed around underneath him. Ueda looking at him. Ueda calling him. Ueda responding to him. Ueda with him. Ueda deserting everyone and everything, every and being with him.

Everything seemed to fall into place, all the pieces of the puzzle fit. The weird emotions connected to Ueda, his dream, everything now made sense!

Ryo's heart was pounding, so violently that it might actually pound it's way out of his chest. He gasped for air, his body filled with new life. His mind kept all rationality at bay as he set off at a run, after the two men who'd left.

He ran around trying to figure out where they could have gone, when he spotted them halfway up a corridor. He speed up, closing the distance between them at high speed.

He extended his arm and closed it around Ueda's.

The pair halted as Ryo held Ueda back. Ueda's eyes fell on Ryo, and for a moment his eyes were dead, but he blinked once, twice and a third time as he kept looking down at his own arm and Ryo's hand gripping it. His eyes darted to the man's face; taking in the panting and the slight perspiration on his forehead.

“Oi! What's the big idea?! Didn't I tell you to stay away from what's mine?!” Koki bellowed at Ryo. The man was still panting, his knees bent, one hand supporting him, gripping his knee. He didn't loosen his grip on Ueda as he yelled “That's MY line!!”.

Ueda's eyes widened, was this really happening? Koki stared at the man as if he hadn't understood a word he'd said. Ryo tore his gaze from Koki and locked with Ueda. He gave a crocked smile and said, still heaving “Sorry I'm late” He chuckled lightly. Ueda took a sharp intake of breath, tearing his arm from Koki and closed in on Ryo, who straightened up.

Ueda could feel hot tears streaming down his cheeks as he saw Ryo smiling at him. The older man's appearance made Ryo smile even more “Ueda, no. Tatsuya” He called warmly, extending his arms. Ueda threw himself at the younger man.

“OI!” Koki yelled the other two quickly turned to face the man. “How can you do this? To me? TO UEDA? You don't remember any-” - “I remember it all” Ryo said his voice dark and poisonous. The words were like a poisonous call to war, while it was salvation to Ueda who was clutching onto Ryo's shirt.

Koki took a step forward, filling his lounges with air “KOKI!” Everyone jumped in surprise as Nakamaru came storming around the corner. “Koki! Did you forget me?!” Nakamaru asked in a harsh tone, eyes only on Koki.

Koki stumbled over his words. “F-For-Forgot you? Huh? What?” Koki asked bewildered. “We had plans today!” Nakamaru said loudly, he was both angry and hurt. “I. I. Don't remember” Koki replied, holding his hands up in defense. But Nakamaru grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and dragged him away. Koki was surprised by the man's strength, and struggled to get to his feet.

Ueda and Ryo watched, stunned as Koki was being pulled around the corner of the corridor and out of sight.

“Wow. That totally killed the drama!” Ueda said astounded. Ryo suddenly lost all strength in his legs, and as he went down, he pulled Ueda with him.

They sat on the floor, Ryo with his arms wrapped closely around Ueda. He squeezed every now and then. Ueda was beyond himself and chuckled nervously “You know. I suspected that Nakamaru had a thing for Koki. But I never thought he would act on his feelings.” - “Shus! Don't talk about other people, especially other guys... Right now, it's all about us!” Ryo said his voice a little hoarser than usual.

Ueda tried to laugh, but it became sobs instead. He gripped at Ryo's arm, pulling it closer so that his back was pressed against Ryo's chest. He could feel the younger man's heart racing, and as he nuzzled closer to Ryo, he felt the slight hardness against his back. He gleefully, his voice cracking with tears and eyes filled with tears obscuring his vision he rubbed against it – hearing the man inhale sharply.

***

They walked with hurried steps up the hotel room. Their bodies rigid with excitement. The door was slammed shut the moment they were inside the room. And before Ueda could take his jacket off he was pressed up against the wall.

They quickly ended up on the bed.

Ueda gave a low moan “hm” Ryo chuckled “I can’t remember that you were this sensitive” He smirked happily and let his hand slide along the older man’s thigh. Even the barrier of clothes couldn’t lessen the effect of Ryo’s touch.

Ueda desperately craved the man’s touch; he clung to the man with his entire being. It had been so long, and he hadn’t even been up to touching himself so he was very riled up over the mass of emotions and sensations rippling through his body.

Gleefully Ryo pressed his hand firmer over Ueda’s body, retracing every sensitive spot he could remember, but the man seemed to respond to his touch alone just as much. “You didn’t let anyone touch you? All that time?” Ryo asked in a husky voice that sent another wave of shivers down the older man’s spine.

Ueda shook his head wildly, his arms reaching around Ryo’s back and pulling him close so that he could nuzzle his face into the younger man’s shoulder. Ryo let his hand slide down the older man’s back to caress his ass, hearing a distinct groan from somewhere near his collarbone.

His hands stopped their roaming; he placed his hand under the elder’s chin and pulled the man’s face up to kiss his lips gently. Ueda shifted so that he sat halfway between the younger man’s legs; one leg under one and the other over the others legs. Ryo smiled against the others lips, forcing Ueda to shift so that the older man was sitting on top of him instead, bringing them closer.

Ueda parted his lips allowing the younger man’s tongue to enter his mouth. Ryo explored the elder’s hot cavern excitedly. He felt Ueda squirm, chest heaving and faintly he could feel the man’s heart pounding against his body. Ueda held his breath as Ryo’s hands again roamed his body, exploring every part of him.

Ryo’s hand slid up under the older man’s shirt. Ueda hissed and pushed slightly away from Ryo, but the younger man wrapped his arm tightly around the other, keeping him close. Hand gently flowing, tracing soft skin.

Ueda shuddered feeling an electric current flow across his skin from where Ryo’s finger tips caressed it. An odd prickling traced his touch and a tingling appeared where he expected the man to touch. Sometimes his body’s suspicions were happily answered. Other times Ryo went off differently, setting off a new set of sensations.

Ryo felt his impatience growing rapidly, he wanted to expose the older man completely, embrace him completely and consume him. Make the man his, devour every part of him and make him his.

The sweet moans escaped the older man’s lips, sending a shudder through Ryo and a feeling of glee and accomplishment. Ryo gripped the man hard, digging his fingers into Ueda’s back.

Ueda groaned, weaving his fingers in with the others dark locks. He tugged lightly and pulled the man closer as he forced his tongue into the younger man’s mouth, taking the younger by surprise.

Ueda took control and was surprised by how easily the younger man let him, but a second later he felt the man’s hands on his ass, kneading and massaging with rough movements. Ueda groaned, but focused his mind on teasing the wet walls. Ryo shuddered as Ueda shifted, grinding up against him.

Ryo stripped the older man of his shirt, forcing them apart so that he could slip it over the elder’s head and tossing it to the side.

Immediately Ueda did the same. Yanking the younger man’s shirt off, making Ryo’s hair stand to all sides. Ueda sniggered for a short while as he took in Ryo’s appearance before he threw himself at the man. And with the momentum they toppled over, Ryo landing with a soft thud on the bed.

Ryo shuddered as the older man’s hands traveled over his back. Nails scratching his skin as the passed his shoulder blade. Ryo gripped the elder close and he felt that slight shudder of expectation as the elder’s hands traveled down.

Ueda started playing with the belt on Ryo’s pants, smiling as he felt Ryo feebly buck his hips. Though he could easily understand the others eagerness, heck he was beyond eager, but he felt that this was a very special moment that needed to be prolonged for as long as possible. He let his hand slip further down and to his delight the younger man responded with a low growl in the back of his throat.

“Tatsuya~” He said his voice melting as he said it, grabbing around the older man to squeeze him tight. Ueda felt his heart skip a beat when he heard his name from the younger man’s lips. “Say it again” Ueda pleaded meekly; letting one hand come back up to guide Ryo’s gaze to Ueda’s. The two kissed sweetly again.

Ueda moaned loudly as he felt the younger’s hands slip down to the rim of his pants. He shuddered as Ryo’s fingers tickled his hip bone. Ryo smirked and repeated the motion, he was happy and growing more excited by the minute by the elder’s passionate, sexy moans.

Ryo really wanted to pound into the older man, his erection straining against his pants. Quickly he undid Ueda’s pants, and happily found that they were in the same situation. He smirked as he let his hand slide gently down to caress the throbbing member.

The amount of pre-cum had the older man’s boxers soiled so he chuckled “Maybe it would be better to just get them off” He reasoned more to himself than to Ueda. And with a greedy hand he pulled down Ueda’s boxers, revealing the throbbing member, leaking at the tip.

Ryo licked his lips, taking the member in his hand and rubbing his thumb over the head. Ueda groaned, shuddering violently. He leaned his forehead on Ryo and heaved for air. Biting his lip Ueda started undoing Ryo's pants as well. He quickly got the fly undone and pulled at the hem of the boxers. His hand was against the younger man's stomach and he felt the man shudder as he pulled the boxer down.

Ueda got to his knees and pulled his clothes off completely, Ryo did the same; tossing them as if they were his worst enemy. Standing on their knees in the bed, Ryo threw his arm around the older man's neck and pulled them close. Their bodies connected, naked skin against each other, and overwhelming feeling consumed them completely as they both let their hands roam the others body – exploring.

“Damn it!” Ryo hissed making Ueda chuckle. “Don't laugh at me!” Ryo said happily, waving his fingers into the others hair. Letting his hand glide over the older man's pale skin. Feeling every muscle as he went. He grabbed the man's ass, massaging it with a firm grip.

Ueda was kissing Ryo's jawline his left hand moving up towards the others chest area, and his other hand playing with Ryo's sack. Ryo groaned, shuddering and he couldn't resist to buck his hips a little, making Ueda smile “Impatient?” He whispered “Are you kidding? I don't know how I survived without touching you!” Ryo said with force. Ueda blushed as his heart skipped a beat. But he wanted to wait until the right moment. After all he'd never gotten the chance to tell Ryo that he loved him.

He moaned as Ryo's hand slipped to the front. The thought filled his head “The man he loved was touching him” it was so new, so different from other times. He was so sensitive that Ryo just shifting would send a shiver down his spine. Ryo chuckled at his extreme sensitivity. The younger man started attacking the elder's nipples: first with his fingers. Pressing and pinching then energetically before he leaned down and started sucking on one. He used his tongue to play with the hard bud, and when they were hard and perky with a delicious pink he sank his teeth lightly into the skin.

Ueda tossed his head back with a jerk, moaning loudly he slipped his hand up from the sack to palm the younger man's erection; making Ryo loose focus on his nipples and let out a deep groan against Ueda's skin. Ueda rubbed the hard cock some more, sliding his hand around the head a few times before taking the shaft in his hand and pumping it eagerly.

Ryo groaned leaning against the older man who hissed as Ryo's lips caressed his skin. Ryo got his attention back to Ueda's nipples, licking energetically and using his thumb over the other. Ryo glanced down to see the elder's leaking member, he slipped his hand down, slowly over the man's toned stomach; feeling the muscles contract under his touch. Down, down to close around the head. Ueda moaned, shuddering a little he untangled his hand from the younger man's hair and used his free hand to pull Ryo's face up – forcing a kiss on the man.

Ryo smirked against the others lips, quickly slipping his tongue over Ueda's bottom lip before gently pushing it inside the elder's mouth.

Ryo pushed the Ueda so that he fell over and lay on his back on the bed. Ryo grabbed Ueda's leg under the knee, forcing it up into the air. He leaned in and started to kiss his way up the older man's thigh. Ueda groaned grabbing the sheets underneath him and shifting a little.

Ryo stifled a moan and his urges as he gallantly passed the elder's hard member and continued his journey up the elder's body. Ueda shuddered, muscles contracting rapidly as the younger man's tongue and mouth traveled over his body, biding his time.

Ueda shuddered and elevated his lower back as Ryo passed his bellybutton, still moving upward. His hand lazily following the journey, teasingly sliding on the inside of Ueda's thigh, close to his throbbing member.

A shiver started deep in his core, spreading through out his body, making him moan louder than before. Ryo glanced up, seeing that the man was really feeling it, making Ryo think had he always been this sensitive? No. He didn't know what it was exactly, but he could tell that their connection was deep. But he wanted to complete that connection, make it deeper.

He kissed his way over the elder's chest, hearing his heart pounding, and with a gleeful smile he started sucking on Ueda's neck. It was so nice hearing Ueda's shallow breaths, panting and moaning. He chuckled lightly, causing a tickling sensation on Ueda's skin that sent shivers through his body.

Ryo pulled himself up, pressing his lips to Ueda's not wasting anytime he reached for the things on the nightstand. Ueda's eyes were closed so he groaned when Ryo's hand's left him, he wriggled impatiently, making Ryo smirk. He opened the bottle and poured the wet, sticky substance onto his fingers.

Ueda hissed when the cold lubricant came into contact with his skin, but he wasn't gonna complain, feeling Ryo's fingers near his hole that was longing for some attention. He breathed deeply, expecting to feel pain, he hadn't used it in a while after all.

Gently Ryo circled the opening, smiling as he felt it react to his touch. He wasted no time, he poked the entrance lightly. Ueda inhaled audibly. Ryo pushed in, hearing a whimper from the older man as if he was in pain. Ryo's eyes widened before his heart grew warmer than it had been – Ueda really hadn't let anyone touch him.

Filled with a new determination and full of desire, Ryo started preparing Ueda. He pushed his finger in to the knuckle, pulling it out and twisting it to widen the entrance. Ueda whimpered all the while. Soon Ryo had two fingers inside, scissoring inside the older man, who gasped and moaned pleasantly. Ryo pressed his lips against the older man's neck, Ueda heaving for air.

He had a third finger in and was pumping them in and out, listening and enjoying the half-chocked gasps from the older man.

“Ryo~” Ueda said in a weak voice, tugging at Ryo. The younger man smirked contently, extracting his fingers and taking the condom. Ueda opened his eyes and looked at the man, he grabbed Ryo's hand. Ryo looked at Ueda, the older man's eyes were slightly glazed “I want to feel you” He said not taking his gaze away from the younger man.

Ryo felt a wave, like an electric jolt of excitement go through him. He tossed the unopened condom a side, and poured some more lube on his hand so that he could coat his throbbing erection. Ryo positioned himself over Ueda “Do you want to turn around? I don't want to hurt you.” Ryo said in a husky voice “No, I want to do it like this. I want to see you” Ueda said.

Ryo's heart was pounding with excitement. He really wanted to pound into the man. Complete the connection. Ryo grabbed a pillow “Raise your hips” Ueda obeyed and lifted his hips so that Ryo could place the pillow underneath him.

Ryo positioned himself in front of Ueda's opening. “Ready?” He asked Ueda gave a groan “Breathe” Ryo said as he gently pushed inside. Ueda gasped once as Ryo sank into him.

Ryo groaned as the heat surrounded him. “Damn!” He said and came to a stand still, but Ueda wanted to feel the man more. So he bucked his hips, making Ryo shudder more and almost loose all the strength in his arms so that he sank down. Ueda lifted his arm and pulled Ryo into a kiss. Both men moaned “Tatsuya” Ryo said in a chocked moan, gasping as Ueda wrapped his legs around the man and bucking his hips. Ryo groaned loudly, “Move!” Ueda begged. Not needing to be asked twice Ryo started to thrust into the heat.

It felt so good his mind was falling to shambles, and he was taken over by an animal like instinctive urge to pound into the man. Their breathing was becoming irregular and heat was coming in waves. Ueda moaned loudly, he'd been longing for this. Missing Ryo's touch. Ryo's scent. Ryo's lovemaking. Missed the way Ryo said his name.

“Tatsuya, I don't know how much longer I can-” He groaned deep in his throat as Ueda clamped down on him “It's OK. Just come.” Ueda gasped as Ryo hit his sweet spot repeatedly “Then I'll-” He started to pull out “No! Come inside me!” Ueda begged, he was getting close. He timed his bucks in frantic need of release.

His breathing coarse on his throat as electric shock waves danced through his body, and behind his closed eyes fireworks exploded and he wailed, “AHN! I. I. AH. I Love you~!” He said as he came. Ryo shuddered violently and came to a stand still. “Ngh!” He groaned.

Once his orgasm had passed he looked at the panting Ueda, who hadn't moved much, but simply lay there on his back; semen all over his chest. A sexy look on his face: flushed rose tinted cheeks, hazy eyes and swollen lips. “What did you say?” Ryo asked mild desperation in his voice. Ueda looked at him. He raised his arm and removed some sweaty bangs that were sticking to the man's forehead before he let his hand caress the younger man's face.

Quietly, he stroked the man's face, studying it before he took a deep breath “I love you” He said quietly, a gentle smile that not even an angel could produce. Ryo felt a wave of emotion come over him, and he started to weep. Tears were running uncontrollably down his face. He lay his own hand over Ueda's and pressed it to his cheek, before he turned to kiss it.

“Ngh! Why did you become big again?” Ueda pleaded shifting uncomfortably. Ryo chuckled. “There is no time for talking now” He said and stroked the man's hand, he started to kiss it again: pulling it up and going down to suck on the man's wrist. Ueda moaned, his body was still sensitive after the powerful orgasm he'd just had.

“I won't ever let this happen again. I'll never leave you!” Ryo said huskily. Ueda blushed, tears welling in his eyes now. “Un!” Was all he managed to say before Ryo gently started thrusting into him again. He moaned loudly, feeling the hard rod throb, as it moved inside him.

 

***

It was late afternoon and when the three couldn't locate or contact either Ryo or Ueda, they'd grown very worried – especially since they hadn't been at rehearsals. They'd called any number of times, but Ueda didn't pick up and Ryo's didn't connect at all. But when Ryo had answered Ueda's home phone without thinking, it hadn't been long before the three were pounding on Ueda's door.

Yamapi chuckled again, sitting sprawled on a chair in Ueda's living room. Jin also seemed happy as he took yet another piece of fruit, brushing Kame's hair with his free hand as he leaned back. Kame was sitting on the floor again, next to Jin's legs as he quietly sipped on his tea. Ryo and Ueda were squeezed together on the couch.

When Ryo and Ueda been woken up by the phone call from the hotel staff this morning, both men had hasted to get out without being discovered. Out of concern and love Ryo had insisted on taking Ueda home. They'd spent the morning quietly, snuggled together on the couch. Ryo wouldn't let the man go if he could help it. He was so bad in fact that he'd followed Ueda to the bathroom even. And although Ueda found it a little irritating, he couldn't deny that the man's puppy like behavior was cute.

Pi smirked “Aren't you hot in that scarf, Ryo-chan~?” He asked gleefully. Ueda blushed and Ryo tugged at the scarf tightly wrapped around his neck as he cleared his throat. “N. No.” He said, but that only made Pi laugh through his nose in a victorious way.

Kame couldn't stop smiling as he quietly sipped some more tea. “Mah, I'm so glad things worked out~!” Jin said loudly and leaned back as if a hard days work was over. “Yeah.” Kame said warmly and leaned against Jin's knees. “To think we missed all the action!” Jin said astonished, and sat up again.

Ueda shifted uncomfortably. Ryo squeezed his hand, he calmed slightly and leaned his head on the younger man's shoulder. Kame who had been eying them closely gave a chocked sound and, unable to restrain himself, said “Aww! I want to take a picture!” Making Ryo and Ueda blush crimson, making them look at each other which made them smile a little and grow, if possible, even redder.

Pi groaned “Arg! I also want to fall in love!” He said exasperatedly. “Ou! I say go for it!” Jin shot in enthusiastically. The two started talking animatedly while as Kame, Ueda and Ryo simply sat and listened to their ridiculous ideas and plans.

Ryo glanced from Akame to Pi, and he suddenly realized something “wait a minute” Everyone looked at him “How did you all know about Ueda and me?” He frowned. Kame shifted “Well, Ueda told me, but that was after you got amnesia. And Jin only found out a while later when Ueda came to talk to me” They all looked at Pi “Ryo-chan, hand over your phone please.” He requested. Ryo frowned again, but did as requested. Pi took it and started pressing buttons.

“You'd better stop ogling your phone with an expression that totally gives you away.” He said and handed the phone back “And!” He added dramatically “You'd better make some better passwords.” As he said it and Ryo stared at the screen, the blush that had been leaving his face came back with a vengeance.

Ueda leaned in and looked at the screen. Jin got to his feet and stood behind them. It was Jin who reacted first “Ryo-chan, you naughty naughty boy” He then started giggling like crazy as he went back. Ueda stared at the picture of his sleeping face, there was still a slight blush in his cheeks on the picture, so he naturally assumed things. He then resulted in slapping Ryo over the head. A mad flush on his face “Who said you could take pictures?! And. And pictures like this!?” He bellowed. “Ah, I'm sorry” Ryo pleaded “It's just you were so pretty and sexy in that moment. I just couldn't help myself!” he pleaded with Ueda.

Ueda's gaze shifted nervously. He was happy about the man's words, but it was so embarrassing! He shifted “Just, don't let others see it. Make better passwords!” He said indignantly. Ryo beamed, he then threw himself at Ueda who toppled over as he stifled a sound of pain. Ryo nuzzled his nose right behind Ueda's ear. Making Ueda shudder. “Ah, this is my Hime!” He exclaimed “Hime?!” Ueda repeated and sat up on his elbows. He really wanted to hit the man, but he looked so ridiculously happy, he didn't have the heart to do it. Meanwhile the other three men were laughing “Hime!” Jin said slapping his thigh “It fits!” Kame said chuckling. Pi couldn't say anything, he was laughing so hard.

***

A few weeks later....

“Nakamaru!” Ueda exclaimed, he hadn't really seen the man in a while so he threw himself at him. The older man beamed and clapped him lightly on the back, he chuckled happily. Suddenly Ueda felt himself being lifted off the man by the collar of his sweater “Oi, hands off!” Ueda stared at the gangster who was staring at him.

Koki tossed Ueda aside and sat down next to Nakamaru, wrapping is arms around the older man “Mine.” He said in a dangerous tone. Ueda arched an eyebrow at him and started laughing – he couldn't help it. He glanced at Nakamaru who was trying, and failing completely at hiding a big smile. “Fine by me.” Ueda chirped “Congratulations. I hope you'll always be happy together.” Koki smirked “Of course!” He said and grabbed Nakamaru's chin so that he could plant one on the tip of the man's nose. “I told you to stop doing that~” Nakamaru said in an embarrassed tone. “But I love seeing you like this” Koki said and did it again.

The occupied couple didn't notice that Ueda slipped out. He chuckled and took his phone out. He saw that he had received a message,

“[My beloved Hime, I haven't seen you since lunch! Your Prince misses his Hime!!>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> >Wow, this turned out longer than I expected. I was aiming for a multi-part series of one-shot smut fics, but instead I ended up with a love story drama thing. Haha. Not that I regret it at all! It was a fun and a good experience. For those who don't know this is my first, real multi-chapter that I actually finished!! *holds for applause*lol. So here we are 10 chapters, or 11 if you count the prologue, and 101 pages and 68382 (minus fic info, incl. Summaries and author notes) later here we are. Once it came down to the last two chapters I really had a fixed idea about how I wanted Ryo to regain his memories, so much in fact that I wrote it down on paper. Haha. ^^ Oh well...
> 
>  
> 
> Oh, and a little _"[present](http://i1225.photobucket.com/albums/ee384/Mojjochan/Me/Art/007-1.jpg)" _ for you...  
> I was waiting for approval from editor-san, who had a visitor, so I ended up doing that^^  
> A/N  
> I almost started crying when I wrote the car scene>< Though I've never experienced that sort of heartbreak, it might have been that combined with listening to Utada Hikaru's Prisoner of Love ne^^ I would recommend you try it out. Read the lyrics(or see a subbed video) listen to the music and then as you listen read that part again.


	11. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> N/A

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Requested by Editor-san!!

“What are you doing?” Ryo asked curiously creeping over Ueda's back. He blinked “What the hell is that?!” He bellowed and sat up “What does it look like?” Ueda said calmly, he'd been lying on his stomach in bed for a little while now, looking through a book he'd bought. “It's a” Ryo gulped “Yes?” Ueda teased, flipping another page.

Ueda had started a habit of teasing Ryo, and the younger man didn't like it. He pouted, blushing as he leaned back, bringing his knees up to his chest “It's a book” He mumbled. Ueda smirked “Indeed it is” - “and it's a gay one~” Ryo added in a barely audible whisper, making Ueda chuckle.

“Why, why do you have that anyway?!” He asked, suddenly worried “Are you bored?!” He asked his voice slightly desperate. “No, that's not it. I'm just... curious...” Ueda said flipping another page with interest. Ryo wasn't quite sure how to interpret the older man's actions. But he got an eerie feeling.

He sat still, watching Ueda who just kept flipping pages, ignoring him. Ryo pouted, the older man rarely ever ignored him. “Tatsuya~” He said, not taking his gaze from Ueda. “Don't ignore me!” Ryo demanded, looking at Ueda with a determined face. Ueda gazed at him. He closed the book, put it down on the floor before he crawled up to Ryo.

Ryo gulped at the intensity in Ueda's gaze. He was locked to the spot. “I'm very curious” Ueda said narrowing his eyes, studying the man's face. Ueda lifted his hand to the others face, drawing his long, elegant fingers along the younger man's jawline “about what?” Ryo asked taken aback.

Ueda slipped his hand down to the man's chest. Ryo shuddered as long fingers slid over his nipples. Ueda still searched his face as he continued down. Ueda's hand slipped up under Ryo's shirt, sliding up over the younger man's toned stomach. “Wha-?” But he was silenced by Ueda's lips.

Ueda pushed Ryo over, so that he was on all fours over the younger man, Ryo didn't know what to think of what was going on, but Ueda sure made it impossible to think.

The older man pressed his tongue into the younger man's mouth. Ryo moaned, a small shiver went through his body. Ueda used his hands to caress the man's body. Ryo really wasn't used to such an aggressive Ueda, but somehow it was really exciting.

Ueda slid his hand along side Ryo's thigh, rubbing up and down a few times before he pressed his palm to Ryo's leg and steadily moved upwards. He hadn't directly touched Ryo's groin, but the younger man's cock was already straining against the fabric of his pants. Without hesitation Ueda pulled the pants off, exposing the younger as he lay shivering only in his boxers on the pale bed covers.

Ueda was exploring the younger man's hot cavern, but suddenly he retracted his tongue and started to kiss his way down Ryo's neck. Ueda closed his lips around the younger man's collarbone and sucked hard, sending a shiver through Ryo's body.

Ryo gasped when he felt teeth scraping his skin, he tried to struggle but Ueda grabbed his wrists, pinning them over his head. Ryo tried to free his hands, but Ueda was stronger. Ueda quickly moved on down, when he found a nipple, he sucked on it and soon it was a hard bud under his wet muscle. Ryo groaned as Ueda continued to lick and suck his nipple.

Ueda's other hand traveled around some more, stroking across Ryo's hip bone before it disappeared from his body. Ryo glanced down to see where the older man's hand had gone. He followed it and saw that it grasped something off the bedside table.

It happened so quickly, and his dazed senses didn't realize what was going on before it was too late, and his hands had been tied together. He struggled against the bindings but they wouldn't budge. “Tatsuya, what are you doing?!” He asked with an odd sense of urgency. Ueda didn't reply, he closed his teeth around Ryo's hard bud.

The younger man gave a jolt as the pain mixed with pleasure he hadn't know before. “Ngh, what are you up to?” Ryo hissed trying to wriggle away from the man. Ueda chuckled, he slid further down, tracing butterfly kisses down the man's stomach. He stopped at the brim of the man's boxers. He heard Ryo release a shuddering gasp.

He chuckled as he saw the man's erection against the boxer's fabric, and the wet spot on them. He parted his lips and nibbled lightly on the cock, the fabric the only thing separating Ueda from Ryo's throbbing member.

Ryo moaned, leaning his head back and surrendering to the older man. Ueda teased some more, bringing his hand down to caress the sack and stroke the shaft. He kissed where the head was, listening to Ryo groan. He used his teeth to pull the boxers down, exposing the hard rod, it's tip leaking.

Ueda smiled and kissed the head. He parted his lips and surrounded the head with his lips, sucking on it like a lollipop. Ryo moaned louder, a shiver running through his body. Ueda used his hand to pump the shaft while he used his tongue to circle the head, licking up the underside of the head, lightly piercing the opening with the tip of his tongue.

Ryo took a sharp intake of breath as a wave of electricity shot through his body. Ueda squeezed the younger man's sack, tickling behind them. Ryo elevated his lower back with a series of moans. Ueda's other hand crept up the younger man's body to pinch the hard bud. “Ahn, so good~” Ryo groaned leaning his head to the side, his eyes closed as he bucked his hips once.

 

Ueda opened his mouth more, taking the hard rod into his mouth. He bobbed his head, taking in more of the throbbing cock each time. Ueda didn't stop, he kept bobbing his head, playing with the sack and pinching the nipple until Ryo came with a chocked groan.

Helet the mixture of semen and saliva drip down over the younger man. Ryo was heaving, his orgasm lingering in his body.

Ueda smirked, without hesitation he grabbed Ryo's hips and hoisted them into the air. Ryo gave a confused yelp as he was pulled down. Ueda spread the mixture of saliva and semen and used his fingers to spread it. He gently circled the younger man's opening. “Oi, Tatsuya what are you going to do!?!” Ryo asked his voice pitch all over the place as he tried to fight the man off. Ueda payed him no mind and poked the hole with his finger tips. Ryo tried to get away, but Ueda's hold on him was too strong.

Ueda pushed his finger into Ryo who gave a jolt “Ugh, hurts!” He whimpered. Ueda's eyes became slits as he smirked happily, forcing his finger in further. Ryo went rigid “Going tens like that wont ease the pain” He said poking the hole with a second finger. “Breathe~” Ueda said in a dark voice slick as silk.

Ryo drew a long shuddering breath, feeling as the older man pushed two fingers in to the knuckle. Ueda twisted, pumped and scissored inside the man, making him yell out. Ueda quickly thrust his fingers into the man's entrance. Ryo tossed as much as he could, he wanted to get away from Ueda but at the same time he couldn't deny the pleasure he was experiencing.

Ueda pushed a third finger in, pumping them in and out with varying pace. Ryo shuddered and moaned, breathing irregularly. Usually he was the one doing this, but now that it was being done to him, the mixture of pain and pleasure was a new experience, and he couldn't say he didn't enjoy it – not with his body shuddering and cock twitching.

Ueda grabbed Ryo's leg and pulled it up, he kissed the skin on the inside of the younger man's thigh, looking down at him. He thrust his three fingers in violently and watched as tears welled in Ryo's eyes. He smirked and thrust in hard again. Ryo whimpered as the force hit him.

Ueda cork screwed his fingers into the younger man before he pulled them out. He then forced the man onto his stomach. Ryo gave a surprised yelp as he landed in the jumble of bed-covers and pillows. “Though I would love to see your face, I'm not that cruel~” Ueda said in that silky voice, his hand running along the outer side of the younger man's thigh.

Ryo stifled a moan against a pillow as he tried to move his hips, but he was still being firmly held in place by Ueda. Ueda moved up behind, grinding up against the man, he groaned passionately as he finally received some friction for his throbbing cock. He smirked happily.

He leaned over Ryo and pulled out the drawer of the bed side table; extracting the lube and a condom. He felt a sudden urgency as Ryo wriggled his hips and moaned into the pillow. Ueda licked his lips, putting the condom down, pulling Ryo’s pants down to his knees; he raised his hand and brought it down onto Ryo's ass. The resulting slapping sound was followed by a loud yelp from Ryo.

A smirk crept onto the older man’s lips. He raised his hand again, bringing it down on the man’s ass again. Ryo cried out again, he gazed back at the older man tears clouding his vision. Ueda felt his heart throb excitedly, he quickly pulled down his own pants and pulled his boxers down and put the condom on. He felt his cock throb as he stroked it lightly when putting the condom on. He felt like he couldn’t do this quick enough.

He poured some lube on his hand and coated his cock in it. He poured some on Ryo’s ass, rubbing it in and slipping his fingers in again to make sure he was wet enough. He held his rod steady as he poked the hole. Ryo hissed, digging his face into the bed covers “Breathe~” Ueda said in a soft voice. He felt the man draw some stagnated breaths. “More” Ueda hissed stroking his hand across the younger man’s back.

Ryo forced himself to draw a few long breaths, and noticed that he was feeling impatient. He groaned unhappily and clutched his hands together as if in prayer. The older man chuckled darkly. He held the younger into place as he pushed forward, sinking into Ryo with a groan. Ryo bit down on a pillow to stifle his cry of pain.

Ueda shuddered as heat surrounded his hard rod. He held still, just feeling the heated walls contract and release around him. He groaned, shifting slightly to get better support, but the motion made Ryo cry out in a sweet moan. Ueda looked at the man's back. Tracing it's slim build up to his shoulders, taking in the elegant neck. He leaned forward, Ryo shuddered, and pressed his lips to the nape of Ryo's neck.

Ryo moaned, he was growing more accustomed to having Ueda inside him, but the sensation was still rather painful. His eyes were full of tears so he buried his face in the pillows. Without warning Ueda started to move, pulling almost all the way out before slamming back into him. Ryo wailed, unable to retain his voice.

With each thrust the younger man cried out with a mixed sensation of overwhelming pleasure and pain. He gripped at the sheets, the motion making his tied hands hurt. He shuddered, and also the soft moans and groans from Ueda were adding to his pleasure.

Ueda let his hand slide teasingly from Ryo's shoulder with a torturous featherlight touch which suddenly turned hard as he pressed it into the younger man's skin. His hand sliding along Ryo's side. Ryo shuddered as the older man pressed his finger tips into his hips, nails digging into his skin.

Ueda parted his lips in the nape of Ryo's neck, his tongue drawing small circles. He nibbled lightly at the younger man's skin. Ryo groaned, wriggling his hips a little, he reached up to grab the metal headboard, holding in to the sprinkles as Ueda's lips caressed his skin.

The older man traced Ryo's neck, kissing and nibbling lightly, following his neck until he was right behind the man's ear. He chuckled, the air that escaped him tickled the younger man's ear. Ueda kissed just behind the younger man's ear before he opened his mouth and closed it around Ryo's ear. Ryo gave a violent jolt and took a sharp intake of breath.

Ueda sucked on the younger man's ear for a short while, listening closely to the man's responses. He smirked closing his teeth around it and Ryo moaned “What sensitive ears you have~” Ueda whispered in such a low and deep tone that it rumbled through Ryo's body. This entire time Ueda had been gently kissing his neck without moving, but suddenly, just as he sank his teeth in he also thrust in.

Ryo released a loud yelp as the older man hit that spot within him. Ryo moaned several times as the feeling grew in him, it left as quickly as it came, but Ueda didn't stop with just one thrust now that he had discovered the younger man's sweet spot.

Ueda groaned as Ryo clamped down on him. He shuddered, pulling back and thrusting mercilessly in. His hands running playfully across the younger man's back. Bringing his hands down to pinch the man's ass, digging his nails into the skin. Ryo yelped loudly, jerking violently. Ueda smirked, he slipped his hand to the younger man's chest and got a nipple between his fingers. He twisted it and another yelp of pain escaped the younger man.

Ryo gripped the metal bars tightly, it had grown warm due to his body heat. He shuddered as Ueda kept pounding into him. His entire body was starting to ache and he wanted to come so badly. He drew a shuddering breath, trying to find his voice which seemed to be completely lost apart from his loud moaning.

“Ung~” He gasped as Ueda twisted his nipple and slammed into him “...come...” He said weakly “What was that?” Ueda said, leaning down closer to the younger man. “Let me... come” Ryo asked, glancing back at the older man. Ueda admired the younger man's face; it was flushed and he had tears in his eyes that glistened.

“Hm... you want to come?” Ueda asked teasingly, Ryo nodded. Ueda laughed through his nose, he then leaned close to the man's ear, his hair tickled the side of Ryo's face and said in a deep husky voice “You'll have to beg for it~”. Ryo shuddered, this pain, this teasing, he couldn't explain it but it stirred something deep within him.

“Please...” Ryo began “Huh~? What~? I can't hear you” Ueda said darkly “Please let me come?” Ryo whined in a meek voice “Still can't hear you~” Ueda teased “Please, let me come?!” Ryo asked frantically, he also added a buck of his hips which caused the older man to hunch over him and suffocate a groan.

Ueda chuckled “You naughty boy” He said and raised his hand to bring it down on Ryo's ass. Ryo wailed with the pain, but the sensation crept across his skin and tickled his spine. “Please, let me come?!” Ryo begged again his voice strained as he gasped for air when Ueda did some rapid thrusting.

The older man snorted, leading the hand that had slapped Ryo to the front, taking a good grip around the younger man's cock. “Fine” He breathed and started to pump the shaft. Ueda kept on painfully pinching and twisting Ryo's nipple as he pounded into him. He stifled his moans unsuccessfully as Ryo clamped down on him, his walls clenching and unclenching around his hard rod, sucking him in.

Ueda had to hunch over the younger man's back as the pleasure completely engulfed him. Ryo moaned loudly, his sweet voice filling the room. Ryo tossed his head back, Ueda closed leaned his face against the man's skin and kissed it, sucking hard. Pumping the man's hard rod rapidly.

The heat spread throughout their bodies. Tingling across their skin and an electric current dancing through every nerve in their bodies and muscles convulsing. The feeling filling their bodies and shook their cores as they both closed their eyes, their bodies trembling in orgasm as they came with a loud groan. Both of them went rigid letting the tremors take over their bodies.

Once the orgasm left them, Ryo sank down onto the bed, and Ueda pulled out of him, lying down next to him. Ryo was hiding his face in the pillows, he was so embarrassed. Ueda watched the man as he seemed to converse with himself in silence. Ueda grabbed some tissues and fixed himself up a little before he propped himself up on his elbow and stared at Ryo's mass of black hair.

He stretched out his hand, he pulled some covers up to cover Ryo a little, after all he didn't want the younger man to catch a cold. He let the cover slip from his hand and he traced the rest of the man's back with the tips of his fingers. Ryo shuddered, but couldn't even get angry or say anything at all.

Ueda started playing with Ryo's hair in a casual way. Ryo used his arm to crush a pillow so that he could peek at the older man. Ueda smiled at the him, removing some of the hair from Ryo's face. Ueda smiled delightedly “That was amazing!” He said, beaming. Ryo flushed scarlet and looked away. He took a calming breath “Could you untie me?” He asked. “Oh, sorry.” Ueda said getting up and starting to untie Ryo's hands.

Once his hands were free Ryo tried to get up, but pain in his lower back and hips made him sink back onto the mattress. He slowly lay back down, avoiding looking at the older man who was smirking at him. Ryo rubbed his wrists that were red and sore. “Where did this come from?” He asked looking at the abandoned piece of cloth that Ueda had used to tie his hands.

“I told you” Ueda said charismatically, he started chuckling before he got out of bed to get something to drink, he stopped at the door and turned back “I was curious".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this fic! 
> 
> Any form of comment would be appreciated!! ♡


End file.
